death is a carousel
spinning; like the uneasiness
i feel as you calibrate
a bracelet towards my narrow wrist
with wooden horses as beads
while our gentle hands hold like nylon

it continues as the gears
like the choices we make
dance to the looped circus music
the acid in our stomach
react as we gallop through tragedy
just then we realize
if one of us steps down
the ride would be fun no more
but darling
it is time  
the coin has taken its toll.

always dreamed
of leaving one day
by walking my fingers
left and right and forth
as if the nails were soles
and tips were heels

at the coming of age
always thought
of leaving one day
with nails as tracks
so no one would follow
that not even myself
would want to come back
since between you and me
there is not a thing
worth keeping

we cry
and smile
at the same time  
so the wrinkles  
between our lips and cheeks  
catch the tears from our eyes
just as how the only person we got
is ourselves

because after all
you won't notice
parading clouds in heaven
without light from hell
radiating behind it

i don't know what to say when it rains
long pressed backspace
retract every word that comes out
of my mouth that you used to kiss

walls used to have my back
but at the same time, they hinder
my part to let go for once
and peek over the other side

to ask

"will it rain?"
"will i see the sun?"
navigating the weather might be hard
but one thing's for sure
home is where you set foot
with your smile i stay warm
in your presence i find shade