I was waiting here, for that woman who gave me love
I told them she was my star shining from above
I waited and waited till the midnight bell rang
From my disappointment I sang
"Everyday I wake up from my dream
And say that was sublime
I wish the clouds could hear
And then they'd cry my tears
Those tears of regret
Just because you fell down and left
And destroyed our dreams and hopes
And all those empty roads
That I had given up just for you
Who made you leave tell me who
I guess I was living in a bunch of lies
Before I ran out of retries"
We used to walk to a church a couple of miles away
We admired the beauty and kneeled to pray
We liked to visit a park in early spring
I'd push her while she sat on a swing
I don't know what was on my mind
It was her love that kept me blind
The reality, I could not find
With her, I left all my problems behind
I remember the first time we met
It was at a party at sunset
We gazed into each other's eyes
15 years ago, how time flies
The memories pass in my head
I can't remember how many times I've said:
"Oh Lord, gracious Lord, tell me why
Why did she have to fly
I can feel her spirit crossing seas and rivers
Would you tell me why she left her lover
Without her I'm a blazing sun without calming rain
Without her I'm a man without the blood in my veins
Oh well I wanted to take her to Spain on our honeymoon
And maybe serenade her under the light of the moon
I turned her frowns upside down
She made me wear a golden crown"
And one winter I remember well
A first lovely snow fell
And after it had covered valleys and mountains
We went and hid in a small cave
Shared our love like we never did
And that ended our story forever
But I'm still waiting for her
Even after the midnight bell rings
I still need to tell her things
Still need to push her on a swing
Still need to gaze into her eyes
But I'm not a god and I have no power
So at her doom stone I placed a flower
                                                          ­      *p.t.

it's the twenty-fourth and every one's out
the streets are dead like the laughter that died out
lampposts light blotches of the road
and Christmas this year feels like a fraud
we hung out at the old bar on the curb
and we drank til the night was nothing but a blur
cruelly reminisced the days with bittersweet smiles
can you be jealous of your own past, you the child?
cheating husbands and bachelor loons
they're all wasted and it's all too soon
for a family to split and spend  Christmas eve
with a friend for a while before they get up and leave
and it's such a shame that a time has come
when you can only hear the roars of a gun
hell, do you want to hear what's worse?
tonight a couple million drunks will break down and curse
when their hangover sets before the northern star
and the ***** of words that follow isn't that far
for all we know we are slaves of a tradition
that seems so far from its own meaning in religion
but can you do anything, and hear over the masses
chanting rebellion against every traitor that passes?
can you really hear the chiming of church bells
when the world of humans is nothing but a living hell?
it's the twenty-fourth and everyone's out
to feast on a Christmas of pain and doubt
                                                                ­             *p.t.

What next?
As I wake up on a cold park bench
With pebbles being thrown at me
My clothes are torn and I smell a stench
Of alcohol reeking from me

Where to?
As I rub my icy blue hands
Over my hungover face and dark eyes
I wince as I try to stand
I double over and muffle a cry

What is she doing?
I hear the ***** whispers of passer-byes
With sideway glances and pursed lips
As if I was deaf and blind
To my worn out clothes and rips

?When's the time?
Asked the barista at 9 a.m.
"Living on the streets for months"
"Come on, you don't give a ****"
And I know he's smiling with smug triumph

What can I do?
I heard an old lady say from the corner shop
I smiled: "maybe a time machine would do
Or a job or a home or for the prices to drop
But you're too kind, I don't want to bother you"

So what is there to do
And what is the point
Of questions I can't answer
And people that disappoint?
Look at me, drunk and homeless
Who here did I not anger?
And look at them, fulfilled and blessed
Who's the obvious winner?
Could you ever shamelessly answer?
                                                         ­              *p.t.

the stars look down
at campers in the night
who are strong men
and brave
who will not renounce a fight
but the stars are high
nothing they haven't seen
that creeps in the dark
with ear splitting screams
so while we are beneath them
they may feel a sense of
duty and protection
to all men.
so in the eve
they gather up
their fierce fires
and soft twinkles.
finally, into time
standing disoriented
the shine, and at dawn
they falter down
and fly off to guard
another land of glorious God
                                                *p.t.

She had lost
The man she
           will only love
So she surrendered
           And lived off
Strong drink
           And weak men.
                                       *p.t.

one day
someone
will stop his life
and listen.
not only to you
but to every breath you inhale
every sip of warm tea your lips take
every freckled movement your hands make
every song your eyes sing.
he will love you;
every kiss you trail
will leave him frail
every word you speak
will leave him weak
and
one day
he will pray you
will never leave him, too.
                                             *p.t.

She had always
Been two-faced
Between the yes
                       And the no
The fast
           and the slow
The calm  
           and the loud
Until one day he said:
"sorry, but three's a crowd"

                                                  *p.t.