I don't really care much
For those who don't dare much
Who wait and wait and wait for their mommy to make bank
Your parents bought you a swimming pool
That's so nice
That's so cool
But the people who had me hopin'
Are the ones whose minds seem open
But whose open doors were merely murals painted on closed minds
Those are people I cannot stand and there are so many of them so many kinds
With so much potential and even more judgement
Or maybe with money and very little thought
I'm happy with my mountain streams
My 25 cent socks
And jumping off of rocks
I'm happy here
Where the sky is big and clear.
And I can tell you my stories
I can spill my heart on this polluted ground
But you'll need some more keys
To unlock all the doors
Inside of little big ol' me.
Millions of rooms in my head,
Filled with everything plus room for a bed.
Room 52, ***** and giggles
Room 103, the Dutchy
Room 3004, a room just for you and more
But there are parts of me
You think you know
While only 7 months of me you carry in your pockets
And will you see all 16 years and lives before? No.
Step down from your pedestal
There's more than your two eyes can perceive
You're not as great as you seem
These facts show, I believe,
There's nothing more right than for me to leave.

The human brain is an awful thing to live with but it sure makes good writing.

There's more to this reality than this reality
So how can I sleep at night
There is too much to learn
And I am not content with not knowing it
I cannot live in such a world
Where I am not seeing largely
And people walk along streets living obscene lives
With no purpose and no curiosity for what's more
I cannot live a life day by day
When century by century
History is being made
And there is so much more
Than each breath is exhaling
Or each blink is hiding.
I need the cosmos
and I need the universe
Because it sits inside my head
Quietly
But now it yearns to be heard
It craves to be noticed
It screams to be discovered
And I can no longer ignore it
And go about life on daily terms

Deadly dead bodies
Bring widows into this world
Loneliness to loveliness
Birthing them.
Nirvana plays
as nirvana comes
I dreamt once that Christianity was right,
But I never converted
God says don't advertise your love
God says do the dishes
God says that he's the only one
But I exist too.
Why does he fall so often?
Such a klutz.

I had once wished there were stories and poems
written just for us
about us
I had wished there were paintings and things that people drew
depicting our lives
our hopes and dreams too
So that I could marvel at them
Marvel at what others saw in us
Embrace our being
Soak my soul in our story
Future and past
Then one day I realized...
I could write those poems
I could create a world for myself to sit in
Just for me
Where our lives fit in
Hand in hand
and I could write the story of us
just for us
And it made me happy.

I have faith, yet I struggle.
I understand, yet I receive no enlightenment.
But it makes sense.
All I ask, and with my faith I know you to be capable of this.
I have seen the past and the future and travelled beyond all there ever was in my mind.
But so fleeting is time, it makes me so sad.
Humanity so dull yet so bright.
I dont believe in you, God.
I believe in people, and they believe in you.
People are my religion.
But can I see it all?
The past is present in my mind.
Why can I not live in that reality?
200 years ago, I can see it in my eyes but why can no one else around me?
They are caught up in the trivial, when I see our own skeletons dispersed around this world
Just as we heard of the skeletons lives that we dig for.
We are no more important that each small child that died thinking themselves to be.
Presidents as forgotten as dead fetuses and just as unimportant.
And what do we even matter, God...?
Can I live until there are no more days and can I see the days that have long since passed?
No.

The stars were startled awake by the thundering snores of the suns slumber,
and brought to being by the night.
They twinkled and bickered
They were ailed with the task of holding the sky up
while the suns eyes were set to rest.

I've got a sticky note taped onto the back of my computer from ages ago when someone put the ideas I'd been trying to express for months into words. It's titled in all caps--
WHAT JIM SAID
Like obviously with the power of perspective you can achieve happiness in any situation, but I would much rather achieve a state of happiness that just flows, rather than forcing myself to be positive. and like you, i think thats much easier to obtain in the right environment with the right people.

I've never met a Jim. But I still concur with him.

From night to white, winter's near.
Why do all the stars keep falling here?

I feel the turn of the earth
the earth that has me
this massive creature beneath me
Breathing
Running
Crying for help
I borrow her love
As she creates mine
I am made of borrowed thoughts
She has lent me her heart
She has shared it with all of humanity
But they take it as if it was all theirs
There is no kindness
She comes unfiltered
Opens her arms
They call her home
Yet they give her nothing in return for her undying love
She is a lost lover
Bruised and abused by unworthy
She has the moon at her side
He pities her
He feels her pain
He sees all the darkness that she possesses
As she hides it behind the suns mask
There is a story
Where eyes open
Can I wake you up?

The only regrets I have are not becoming friends with more people.

I do not wish that my name be remembered,
but purely the things that I have done
and the things that I helped make.
For if I may change the world,
I hope only that I can change it enough
So that the future holds reliance on my existence.
So that humanity may be looking at the results of me
And the change that I helped make happen
One day.
My name is hardly relevant
And I do not care for its remembrance,
Merely the effects of its naming.
I care that there is importance
In the fact that the name even existed.
Not so much the name itself.
I care that it was necessary in the altering of something larger than even humanity itself.
But with so little time,
All I can be is curiously passionate
And hope that that is enough
To have done what I could have
By the time that my name no longer exists.

Raising a child is very relative.
People always want to be a good parent.
I say there is no wrong way to parent.
There sure are morally wrong ways.
But it's more important to think
You can't raise a child well,
But you can be raised well.
You could be the perfect father
And your child could still find ways to get ****** up.
And vice versa.
I know plenty of wonderful people who sprung from hell as a home.
I know plenty of awful people who descended from perfection.
Who a child is, does not depend on the means in which she was raised.
It is solely dependent on how she went about being raised.
You make your own decisions,
You become the person you want to be.
Your parents decide nothing but the experiences you start off with.
I hope to God that I end up with a good hijo
But if I don't I'll do my best to make them better.
But in the end, it's their decision whether they want to be better or not.

If you live to be ten,
Then kudos to you.
Don't expect you'll live forever,
Or that you'll have your bed beneath you when you pass on,
Or that your loved ones will be surrounding you.
Don't make plans for death,
It's going to come.
It's your call to say to yourself
I am going to die soon enough
Because you are going to.
When you realize that is the day you'll actually start living.
Some think that life's too long and they have no interest in it all,
Others go through life oblivious,
Thinking that death is a blip far away from the present.
Those are the ones who do nothing with the time they are given,
They always think they have more of it.
Spoiled,
We are a spoiled humanity,
Life is never enough.
Do not be spoiled.
How do we go about unspoiling ourselves?

He fired cannons until the dogs barked, and then he would shoot one more just in case a chihuahua missed the first 5 shots and still wanted to join in on the chorus. He owned fate and destiny, they did not own him. So much that he could pull me through time and have everything his way. He spoke a language no one in town knew and it made him lonely that no one even tried to understand, but by god I am trying to understand...but it takes time, he is not just from around the corner. I have never felt the tug of mischief and spontaneity so strongly as I did when he pulled my arm. I was in love with another boy, but if I had had my heart on me I would have given it to him that night, and then asked for it back in the morning. I know he would not have known what to do with it for much longer than that, he might misplace it and i don't want that. He doesn't need to feel guilty for anything. I want to tell him thanks for stirring my soup before I boiled over, but I couldn't tell him that without wishing that he would stick around to try a spoonful.

Grab a hand
There are many searching for yours
reach down,
your hand will find nothing in the clouds
pull them
the sky is blue because of you
you yearn
but asked for it to be easy
but help
and you will find it reciprocated
see them
so much potential if only they had you
bring happiness
theirs will bring yours
smile wide
there's no reason for half-assing it
dont worry
not all rewards are immediate and when they are hard
cry loud
what did i say about half-assing
but hope
because it's all just a wheel and you will be back on top
dont fret
you'll be just fine

They tickle my heart
The butterflies in my stomach who has slept for years are only napping when I hear of them.
They may even blink their tired eyes.
But they have each other.
They, together, are something I have never wanted.
And they are everything I have ever wanted.
Now they are all I need.
And I have no one.
It's been a lifetime since I have had that.
Dora has Harry.
And I have no one.

They were fighting here
Living here
Enveloped in a life
That none have since seen
And I work here
I watch as they fight
My nose drips
My eyes water
as I see their bodies
fall to the ground
Their brothers, fathers, best friends die before them.
I wade into the shallows of time
I push against its thick film
But i cannot pass
I can do nothing but watch
as they fight, suffer, and lose.

I am an open book, set out with spine cracked, anyone can read me.
I am a long book, with uncountable words,
But you have learned out to count me.
Tell me how many I am,
No one has take the time to finish me.
Finish me, and read me again, and rip pages from me to be saved and rewritten inside of you.
I am an open book, no one is interested in reading me.
You are not, and I only wish to be part of you.

I am made of the ocean
There is salt in my tears and in my sweat.
I cry them and work for you.
But darling, I am made of the ocean.
And you were made of rivers and streams.
When you come a'rushing down, those rapids sing to me.
Because I am made of the ocean
And darling, you are made of rivers and streams.
Running wild and free you'll come to me
Cause I am made of the ocean, my dear.
And you'll always be coming to me.
I will always be big and blue
because of you.
Darling, I am made of the ocean,
Darling, I am made of you.

Having been long from your arms
And from your glances,
I have also been long from feeling.
I do not know
the flames of passion
or the airlessness of lungs
because I have had no one to steal the air from my body
like you did.
I forgot how to feel,
and all I wish for
is another,
(if not you)
that can touch my heart
and take my sanity.

"Wander a whole summer if you can. The time will not be taken from the sum of life. Instead of shortening, it will indefinitely lengthen it and make you truly immortal." John Muir

"we change. whether we like it or not."

There is a small stallion in me that kicks at my stomach linings when i remain stationary too long. Not physically stationary, but stationary in life. He isn't named because I have yet to fully understand him enough, but I know that his endurance has pushed me far beyond my limits and therefore destroyed them.
By taming that stallion, I am allowing myself to remain wild. I am using my understanding of myself to take the reins and pursue what needs pursuing.
It has allowed me to rise from my greatest wrecks and the most deadly of wreckage not unscathed but changed and always for the better.

I am a messy person. I find it difficult to keep blank pages clean and the colors inside the lines. I spill myself all too often into the things I create and the people I meet. I have lost myself more than a few times when looking for trivialities. But despite my lack of organization, I have a moral compass that does not flutter in the wind, pointing due north and I have a loyalty to myself and to the bettering of the world that is unwavering.I am using my understanding of myself to take the reins and pursue what needs pursuing.
It has allowed me to rise from my greatest wrecks and the most deadly of wreckage not unscathed but changed and always for the better.


I could go and invent a pizza pouch that allows your pizza slice to be easy access and even more portable and I would probably make millions, but what good would that do than just encourage people's laziness and immediate pleasures?

The only way to avoid criticism is to be nothing, do nothing, change nothing, and even then people will still call you boring. Let the criticism come, the hatred too, it means you're doing something.

I've found that the key to success in any endeavor is making the conscious decision to make it happen, whatever it is and no matter what may happen to you along the way. It is that and then to be stubborn about it, but flexible with your methods.


I was once dared to lick the ski lift pole in a -20 degree blizzard. Anyone who has been to elementary school is fully aware of the seriousness behind a dare. A dare is no joke, though we may laugh at it. A dare is a binding agreement with the gods and also the demons that you will fulfill your destiny and display your loyalty to your friends. Even more of a contract is the double-dog dare.
Dare's taught me the true meaning of going the whole way, of not backing out, of committing.
Through habitual practice, dares established a long-term mentality for me. As I moved away from home and was on my own, there were not always others to dare me to do things I was hesitant to do. I began daring myself and growing more courageous with each one. They got bigger and more serious as I grew older. From "I dare you to pick your nose" to "I dare you to climb that mountain" to "I dare you to follow your dreams"
Because of dares, I can go all the way with the little things and now I know how to go all the ******* way with what actually matters.
I dare you to never give up.




I entered with hesitancy, being so accustomed to the confidence that comes with spontaneity, I did not know how not to overthink my decision to leave home when given months to ponder it. I entered as a sheep, but I left a lion.

I've got intelligence and ambition that I trust in myself. It has gotten me this far, and I know it's not tired yet.  

I’ve been lonesome with the wandering blues many times, because I’ve got little birds in my chest playing the prettiest songs in hopes I’ll let them out to fly.

To start at the origin...At the ripe and ready age of zero, I learned my first lesson: how to swim. It was a skill that came quickly with the aid of physics and physical movement. My second lesson came moments after, when I realized that I existed and through existing, even some what illegitimately, I had an impact on the world. My learning how to swim brought warm hands to my walls and giggly whispers into my ears, which was a clearly positive response to my personal growth and an awareness of my presence. Even prior to my existence as a zygote, the knowledge of my potential future existence altered the decisions my parents made and the course in which they chose to steer their lives. A person cannot ever be limited or demoralized if there is the understanding that they have, and everyone has, the power to make an impact on a world they are not even existing within yet.
  Now all of this knowledge was contained subconsciously in my head somewhere, but upon its eventual conscious realization I then understood the reason behind the unwavering, childish, disbelieving enthusiasm that I was born with and that applied to everything I had ever and will ever encounter.

I am very excited to meet you.
But in the meantime
There are things to be done
Mountains to be succumbed by
Views to be gasped at
Trees to be climbed
Rivers to flow with
Pots to make
And friends to be made too
Out of clay
and out of love.
and out of adventure.
lots of adventure...
Sun to be soaked
laughs to suffocate on
happy times to be had
depression too.
And same goes for you.
In the meantime,
I will not wait
I will run.
And if you are ready,
you will not catch
you will run with me.

i have a brain
and i have a body
and that's really cool
because what i see through my eyes
and feel what i am
is not a brain nor a body
but a world that i created
a world of what i am
and that's what you are too
what the hell is anatomy
it is a lie
if we could only see with feelings
the world would be an inspiration
every life would be a galaxy
every person would be a treasure
so you can have my body
you can tear it to shreds
lock it in this prison
make it bleed, make it run
starve it and poke it
but you will never have me
because i will be years away
in my mind
gone with the universe
and the stars that died years before

when you come to terms with the fact you are going to die
everything is a lot calmer
mostly you
less anger or angst or fear
just life
i consider myself an anarchist
but there are different types of anarchy
educated and impulsive
i understand
and i observe
and i learn
and i start the fire with breeze on the coals
not with a match in the rain
anarchy is not meant to be ignorant

I once lived in a town where everyone was me. I was everyone.
Everyone spoke words I thought of,
Read the same words,
believed in the same gods,
wore the same clothes,
and loved everything we differed in.

I now live in a town where I am no one. No one is me.
I have not heard a word of the languages they speak,
I do not know the names for what they wear on their feet,
or how to stand on their soil,
I have come to cease existing.
I have become everyone else,
I was so used to it being the other way around.

When I hate something
When I loathe something
When I feel uncomfortable about something
When I am angry with something
I like to be with it
I like to read about it
I like to surround myself with it
I like to plunge into it
So that I may understand why it is that it makes me so
And so that I can be sure it is not for me
If I do anything but that
How can I be sure?

To be in love with you…I can’t imagine. You and I are separate nebulas; we are our own universes even…yet we are part of the same picture. You are made up of the most mysterious of stars. I cannot travel to you; I’m not evolved enough. Give me one thousand years and I will meet you on your own horizon. I am uncountable suns, yet you are infinity. I want to be the same. I want your infinity to count me. To join me. So that we may be one, and grow. Someday, I will not be standing so small watching as you expand, your light blinding me. One million years from this thoughtless time, you will have become me, and I you.

I've got to die today
I will say it every day
When the sun rises it is time for me to go
When it sets i must leave with it
I was never meant to live
I was meant to die
I need to die
My life is a mere burden on everyone else's
**** Me
Or Let me **** myself
But I will say everyday
Today is the day I die
And I will live forever

I sometimes wish I was Sylvia Plath
But she hated her life and only wanted good
I am a lucky duck even without flight
I am the happiest person I have ever met
But that is the saddest thing to know

I forget what I look like on a daily basis...
I forget what I sound like even more often...
and I don't think I'll ever know what I seem like.

please knock on my head
I do not know who is home
But it is not me