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jad Aug 2013
When I hate something
When I loathe something
When I feel uncomfortable about something
When I am angry with something
I like to be with it
I like to read about it
I like to surround myself with it
I like to plunge into it
So that I may understand why it is that it makes me so
And so that I can be sure it is not for me
If I do anything but that
How can I be sure?
jad Jul 2013
52 i love you
34 ***** boar
21 you are fun
83 you've seen me ***
45 let's do a jive
22 i miss you
jad Jul 2013
The top of my head is open
My scalp lays on the floor beside me
It is open to the world
Every germ and every human
(if they are any different)
But the gods drilled the holes in the tops of my skill
To sip from my moods and my thoughts
as they went on tropical vacations
They cut me open to find me empty
And to fill me again
They shaved out the insides of my skull
So they could sprinkle it onto their yogurt with granola
And they left me to dry
But I awoke with an ache of ruin in the back of my neck
I went about my daily life
I bought groceries
I met with friends
I chatted about politics
But I couldnt help but feel a bit empty
I took Advil to calm the pounding of my head
It could not be avoided
Until the day I looked up
My brain was gone
And the top of my head was left open
And all I had now was the rest of the world filling it in.
I did not need a brain.
jad Jul 2013
The ocean's powerful dark waves
Spit in the billowing winds
Splash onto our already tearful faces
The ocean is big
We went for a dip
But found ourselves out of land's sight
I feel these pinches
and bites
of the world's stammering mouth
surrounding the waves and
preventing us from resurfacing
shaded by the sails of the drowning boats
the drowning economy
the flailing political states that forgot how to swim
the last breathes of human rights
the Earth is frightened as a child
as the disease of humanity
quickly devours her
and we race her to our own deaths
As if it was a friendly game of Marco Polo
We can see blots of our trivial goals
as we come up for air.
But oxygen doesn't visit us so frequently anymore.
Maybe because we didn't invite him to our dinner party and took him for granted.
And my dreams of being part of the things that happen on a big scale
Are realized.
We are in the center of the whirlpool,
and our toxic boats are pulling us down with them.
No matter how small we are,
what we have built was too big
To avoid.
I tried to climb the trees,
take my loved ones to the tops,
but any attempts to salvage were useless.
The trees were not on our side,
even if we were on theirs.
I would prefer to drown in water
Than this.
jad Jul 2013
regretfully, hello
happily, goodbye
time will fly
we will carry on
i will see you soon
love,
gone
My head will **** me one day
but for now
We will all carry on
And happiness will be ours
jad Jul 2013
I just sit here
Enjoying the worst day of my life
Wishing my death could live
Where do I want to live
In the city or the mountains
Just as long as I have love and I am very happy
This is a choice
A choice I can't make
With my head
Cause it stopped working when I pressed play
Oh where is this voice
To tell me what to do
Oh, my life just seems so **** bare
Since I left
I am just too fragile for this
Oh just as long as you are swimming there with me
I just want to be happy
jad Jul 2013
I've got to die today
I will say it every day
When the sun rises it is time for me to go
When it sets i must leave with it
I was never meant to live
I was meant to die
I need to die
My life is a mere burden on everyone else's
**** Me
Or Let me **** myself
But I will say everyday
Today is the day I die
And I will live forever
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