I live inside a little boy's head
My birth day was the day he figured out he had an imagination
Last night he had a nightmare
His dream only lasted a few minutes
But I lived inside that course of time for 10 months.
He dreamed of suicide and manic depression.
Upon awakening doused in sweat and tears
His mother told him it was only a dream.
He thought up the shape of my arms
Because he loved how his daddy's looked.
And then he curled my hair to look like the girl down the street.
At age 3 he learned his ABCs and
He dreamt me to be a writer.
He couldn't spell any of the words
That he pretended me to write.
I sleep more often now
Because he forgets to remember his dreams.
The little boy is getting older
And so am I.
My life unfolds in REM
My entire reality was built inside this little boy's head...
I hope he sleeps well tonight
Because it's been raining a lot
And the weatherman said that it would be sunny.
Someday when we're older
I will meet the little boy who invented me
But for now I only live inside a little boy's head
Being forgotten as he falls in love.

I love.
You want . 

But life knows
How to make the world happen.

The future is just people dying.

When hearts live,
Words are happy and eyes are like better days.

Are you ever going to do things?
Maybe something real?
Make a home and a life to care for,
To carry away the time.

The body must feel
And the mind must think.

I trust that your lives are better on the inside,
The best are long and the worst are longer.

A place changes with years,
I hope...

A head is more than a brain.
It makes children into birds.
The mind is the past, a time traveler.
That kind of sad person that dreams things so human
Only to stay alive in a room, in need of a story.

I realize that you thought you'd exist,
But you're dying years ago.
You wanted the earth's history to lie beneath the sky
And touch your feet until you were old,
But it flew upwards,
I'm sorry.
You cannot have that, but you can have what you make for yourself.

My heart sits rotting away in a rattan chair
All the love and the people I long to be near
Progressively grow closer to one and other
As I slowly drift out of their lives
I will not longer be the lining in their memories
Not even remembered as part of their lives
Just a humorous picture on the screen
A name in a book dated "2011-2012"

On the other side of the country
my brain grows and cripples from
A lack of blood flow
As my heart begins to give up
And break down
because this distance is too great
and hearts only have so much strength.
But my brain stuffs itself with meaningless facts
and replaces the heart
with stuffings of leftover ******* from the 'elites'
and a horrid instability occurs.

False faces and shattering smiles
Can no longer be redeemed.
I am a new human
as this hole in my chest
is filled with hate and judgment
and my brain cries for happiness
but only receives E=Mc^2.
I am the ugliest human to have ever lived
The only warmth I can seem to find
Is when touching the broken heater
of this insane asylum.

I rejoice,
despite the fact I try my best
and the sky
continues to fall
and the world only gets more bitter.

Father calls to me,
Willing my brain
Handing me a hand-knitted heart
That pumps false hope and paper-mache dreams

"You will not survive, You'll never make it out alive."

Heaps of regret
Are staggered on every path I face.
I may as well die,
No.
I may as well do what i please.
why should I attempt to please those who will never be pleased?
I'm sorry that I am not sorry at all.

This troubled heart,
Now strapped to a surgical table
Connected by tubes to the welcoming hands of my chosen family.
Those who grew me from the dirt,
After i was dropped there out of the womb.
My roots were strong,
But my wings are tattered,
I cannot fly just yet.
But I was thrown from the nest,
And now I am drowning in the fiery depths of hell that were below.

I cannot make this decision.
Not because I cannot make a decision,
But I literally don't have a choice.
And my heart will only continue to die.
And soon enough I will be a carcass.

Inconsistency
a great flaw
that only taunts my frail personality
as I attempt to tame its wilderness
am i one thing
am i another
will i be succumbed to one life?
Only to live shielded by comfort and ignorance?
But if not to do that,
how will I live with broken boundaries
and no anchors to the ground
that my feet no longer touch?
How can I live as 7 million people
In one life?
But how can I live only as one?

I do not wish that my name be remembered,
but purely the things that I have done
and the things that I helped make.
For if I may change the world,
I hope only that I can change it enough
So that the future holds reliance on my existence.
So that humanity may be looking at the results of me
And the change that I helped make happen
One day.
My name is hardly relevant
And I do not care for its remembrance,
Merely the effects of its naming.
I care that there is importance
In the fact that the name even existed.
Not so much the name itself.
I care that it was necessary in the altering of something larger than even humanity itself.
But with so little time,
All I can be is curiously passionate
And hope that that is enough
To have done what I could have
By the time that my name no longer exists.

1917
1920
1930
1940
1950
1960
1970
1980
1990
2000
2013
short life
to make an impact
on this trivial human existence

long enough
to pull rivers of tears
from my unexpecting eyes

Waarom zijn je huilen?
Ik weet het niet.
Ik hou van jou.

I trust much too easily
Much too frighteningly
Yet, if I could only trust one thing
If one day I became a cynic and grew senile
If only one place i were to place my trust
Then I trust only Future.
Past is manipulative,
He has only false consistency
He tells my mother he will have me home by 12
And I find my self spending the night.
Present is only sneaky
And finds joy in the fright that she gives small children.
Not to be trusted...
While the Future,
The Future is noble....
I believe to be trustworthy.
Always pulling through,
when the Present is stabbing you in the back.
The Future will always be there,
Pulling through on the promises made of a better tomorrow.
The Future is a rolemodel.
Guiding the Present on her path to righteousness.
The only one I trust is the Future.
Even now, when I trust everyone.
I only truly trust the Future.
Because the Future has control over everything,
We can conquer everything,
If only with trust in the Future,
The Future can end this poem
however would make the biggest impac.......