.                                      

                        ­                 How is it that                            when you need
                                   something - anything -           from me, I run franticly
                              to your side to aid your desires...But when I just ask for a
                               little compassion, a little distraction, a little satisfaction.
                                You look right through my pleading eyes to the person
                                    behind me and seductively say, "Hey, could you do
                                        me a favor?" And that's when I melt inside. I feel
                                          misused, abused and yet I can't wait until I'm
                                               reused. Because I believe that next time,
                                                    will be the last time, the final time
                                                          when you realize that I might
                                                           ­  not come running. Instead
                                                         ­        I'll be waiting for you
                                                             ­       to miss me by your
                                                            ­           side - like I miss
                                                            ­               being there.
                                                          ­                   *Someday

You inhale my innocence like it was a drug,
you tear it off me,
just like the new shoes I scraped up to buy,

and you say "but baby,babe, I love you",
and you'd find all the touch points,
to give me a heart attack,

and I said " but mama, mama,
he said he loved me."

I'm sure he loves me.


And she'd start off with the little things,
sightings of him and a barbie in a dress,
and then she'd build up,
incantations of dancing with the devil,

But his hands held me.
His hands, they held me, unafraid,
of the walls I resurrected or the fear and confusion I could infuse.

left,right,left,right.

He undressed  me with his eyes,
and with his words he'd dress me up,
but the demons of the day,
play nice up in till dark.

1.2.3.4.4.3.2.1.

His hands, they held me.
They spun me circling around,
and pulled me back in.
Close.chest to chest.
They rubbed my back,
they lifted my head.

And you came to me broken,
like broken glass.
You were broken but gentle in remorse, and liquid guilt,
bruised and body beaten,
I covered you,
pulled together and tug the warmth off my body and laid it over you.
You shivered, trembling, I asked if you were still cold.

It's getting cold now,
I still wonder if your soul still wanders,
I wonder if your still freezing.

I've poured out the hot cocoa,
and I've locked all the doors.

You will not find comfort in me anymore.

and You make deals with the devil,
to bring up memories of me,

But I'm done, doing the damsel
and you are left with your disease.

love is
the sound of the voice of a girl who lives
3,781.8 km away
who calls you just to hear you say
Hello,
i love you,
i am not only here
but i am
listening.
Because long distance charges don't apply
to those who have telephone wires attached
to their hearts.

love comes
in waves of
strange connections,
painstaking inventions
that enable
the sad to meet the sad
the sick to meet the sick
where only a fragile minority find each other and decide
to stay and not feed each others
insatiable demons
because there is a mutual understanding
of what it is to be at war with oneself
constantly fighting to get through
another day
where something as small as a
hello,
i love you
is enough to make you want
to stay.

love is
a series of lessons you learn
from a girl
who is wise beyond her years
who is too young to be so sad
who is too smart to be so uncertain
who is too brilliant to realize her own
abysmal radiance.

Dearest Hillary,
in exactly one month
you will be greeting me
with the same open heart you always have
the only difference is
i will finally be able
to feel
it
beat.

A beautiful girl dressed in red
she can seem to get out of her own head
Beautiful eyes
met with the saddest demise
Red ribbon waving in the wind
in all the places she had been
A handsom boy dressed in blue
waiting to start anew
Broken heart
wanting to restart
Misses the girl in red
Holds her ribbon close to his heart
wanting to go back to the start

Crying in the stall
Door shut, no one talks
Been in here long enough
Too long almost
Come out quietly
Like nothing's wrong
Fix my make up
Put on a brave face
Tell everyone that I'm ok
A bold faced lie
No one knows
I've hit rock bottom
Crying in a washroom stall

Remember when
we were the only ones to sit in silence
and feel no need to feel it,
and remember when
you held my hand in remembrance of another,

And I cant black out the stars ,
you say shines so bright,
who I'm i but a little night light on a dreary day?

Can we just talk and listen?
Does it always have to be this one sided?

STOP.

just breathe,
breathe in the scent,
the emotion,
the cold,
take it all in,
and let it fill all the spaces,
and unreached cavity,
breathe out the dark of night,
to purchase the parts of a new day.

There are certain things
That attract my attention
Here I will tell you
But first I have to mention

That I like girls
And that I find them attractive
The more they're sporty
And the more they're active

With a slim curvy waist
And super nice thighs
The ones who're blonde
With the bright blue eyes

It's important to me
How you deliver your hugs
Cute punk rocker
With big *** plugs

Body like a canvas
Covered in ink
Falling more for you
With each and every blink

Sunglasses bigger
Than your tiny face
Underwear lined
With thin white lace

Piercings here
And piercings there
Short shorts
That you love to wear

A girl's playful aggression
Is totally enough
You might be able to tell
That I like it rough

If you bite my neck
And hold me down
Leave a bruise
And go to town

You'll have my heart
As easy as that sounds
But a good attitude
Is really what astounds

My favorite thing ever
Is when you sit on my lap
So I can wrap my arms around you
And keep you in my trap

I wonder why
It's so hard to find
A cute girl
With a chill mind