I'm always
turning the wrong nozzle,
looking for heat.

If you are of something
you're there.

You ask me why,

but I never know anymore.

1 Heart:

Gently used,
Never opened
Slightly torn

The clouds cry because people seem much happier without them.
They are lonely

I cry because people seem much happier without me too.
I am lonely.

This is why I hang out with the rain
and catch teardrops with my tongue

If you're planning on poisoning me with sunshine
Give me an antidote of shades and blinds
ahead of time.

Your sun hurts my eyes when you leave it behind.

Wasting wine
with a glass
full of time.

I don't necessarily believe that opposites attract.

but they should.

That way all the things you like and love

don't get tainted when things go wrong.

Heart's broke.

There's nothing to it's name.

I'm always
                    half
joking and
                    half
hoping.

My mom tells people how I was as a child.

She tell stories about how I used
to love looking at my reflection;
In mirrors
In windows
In glossy table tops

I find that really funny now.

It's funny to think about all the times you asked me to smoke a cigarette with you and I told you it was too cold, so I waited patiently inside, knowing you'd come back.

Now I'd travel to Antarctica if it meant I could smoke a cigarette with you.

Now I smoke alone and the sound of me flicking the end of my cigarette sounds like the side-door to my brain opening and slamming shut--- the one only you have the key for.

some day

you will realize

you are alot

like that person

you always hated

and you will

like them

alot more.

Stuck in a ceaseless circle
in an incessant cycle

All I want is a corner to curl up in.

I look back.

I know what I did.

I know that I'll do it again.

I know that I'm no good.

It's a book ripped in two at the spine
so I don't know how to read it
I try to put the pieces together
But they will always be in two
I have tried everything, from tape to glue
All I ever make is a sticky mess
and uncovered seems
So I guess I'll just read them separately
but the prologue and epilogue will never go together.

There's a password to paradise
and I've never been a very important person.

I had a dream
that we were standing on opposite ends of the block
and waving at each other.

There were smiles
and nobody was hurting.

In the fall--
No. In the Autumn--
You won't need to follow me.
We're headed for the same destination.
(It's forever unknown.)
I'll see you there.

I don't feel like
any kind of person.

I'm so sick of blinking
especially when the darkness is so sweet
I hate that good things only last a second
like we only lasted a blink
and I only felt better for a blink

Let's just stop and never blink

I'd rather look out for you
than look at you.

When I was young,
I used to always think
that the sky was crying when it rained

It was lonely and everybody always went inside
when it needed people the most

So when it rains,
I go outside and spend time with it
and catch raindrops on my tongue
like I'm kissing the sky.

You never think they'll hurt you
until you have no heart

I wish I didn't hate you.
I wish I stopped thinking about you
I wish I could stop listening to your favorite song
and hear your opinions and light voice
roughly waving over the rhythm and strum of a simple guitar

But I can't,
So I think about you
thinking about someone else
in the way you used to think about me

And suddenly my heart is missing.

It's hard to hear affection
through a mouthful of lies
But I can dance to the rhythm
of the music of your demise

Why is your face
on the ground
if your head
is heaven?

My fears are on the market,
but all bets are low.

Where did you go?

Come back.


I need to look at you some more.



I need to meet you.




Come back into my life.






Oh wait...







You were never in it to begin with.

So once there is nothing left beneath my feet
except the stone cold floor on which I sleep
I have stand up and touch my toes
to cure my aching back made of stone
and I have to find a way
to bring myself to life
and I'm sure the only way
is to bring myself to light.

You made me forget why I hate myself.

I remember now.

There are two
still floating around
in the world somewhere.

I only know where one of them is.

My feet are restless
and my brain is reckless.

Tomorrow never comes
Everyday is always today.

Your eyes are an inky oil painting,
when they leak
I miss that sinking feeling

I'm awfully tired
of waking up in the morning
with misconceptions about the sun
being on my side.
It's over my head.
I'm not awake
and it's not morning.

I'm perpetually in mourning and
living at the wakes of the deceased.
The sun is only over my head,
to remind me that I only see darkness
at the brightest time of day.

My heart is a leaky pipe dripping tears into an empty bucket. **** it.

I'm flawed if I'm not free.

But it doesn't matter,
because words don't mean anything to me.

Life never taught me how to love
but I hate you,
so at least it showed me how to feel

Most people make love,

But I'll always know

I was only made by love

to break love.

Stop.
That's fine.
That's fine but you don't need to talk right now.
Don't you want to hear other people's thoughts?

I'm looking in
but I'm inside too.

****.

No greater feeling
than breathing in oxygen
and loving the taste
of it's sweetness on your teeth

I'm doing a little better now
...My mind is in a different place most of the time now
I don't write poems for him anymore now
but I lie to myself a lot more now
Because I still pretend he's holding my hand sometimes
and remember the old times when these times seemed years away.