Wasting wine
with a glass
full of time.

You ask me why,

but I never know anymore.

The clouds cry because people seem much happier without them.
They are lonely

I cry because people seem much happier without me too.
I am lonely.

This is why I hang out with the rain
and catch teardrops with my tongue

I'm always
                    half
joking and
                    half
hoping.

some day

you will realize

you are alot

like that person

you always hated

and you will

like them

alot more.

My mom tells people how I was as a child.

She tell stories about how I used
to love looking at my reflection;
In mirrors
In windows
In glossy table tops

I find that really funny now.

If you're planning on poisoning me with sunshine
Give me an antidote of shades and blinds
ahead of time.

Your sun hurts my eyes when you leave it behind.

It's a book ripped in two at the spine
so I don't know how to read it
I try to put the pieces together
But they will always be in two
I have tried everything, from tape to glue
All I ever make is a sticky mess
and uncovered seems
So I guess I'll just read them separately
but the prologue and epilogue will never go together.

I had a dream
that we were standing on opposite ends of the block
and waving at each other.

There were smiles
and nobody was hurting.

Stuck in a ceaseless circle
in an incessant cycle

All I want is a corner to curl up in.

There's a password to paradise
and I've never been a very important person.

I don't necessarily believe that opposites attract.

but they should.

That way all the things you like and love

don't get tainted when things go wrong.

This is my internal explosion. It's as if I slit a piece of art into every ***** and drained out everything that was taking up too much room, suffocating me. And everybody is wading in a pool of my insides without even noticing. I'm all torn apart far away from everyone and my pipe intestines are still leaking. Just put a rusty bucket beneath them. **** it. Let's wait for a mechanic that we don't even know to fix the leak and dump my organs into some random creek. I know I am weak, even though I act like a too cool for school freak, alienating me to nothing. Forgive me. You'll outlive me because I don't even feel alive anymore. I wish I was still a chore. I wish I didn't only exist on the outside of the door to your brain, unlike before. I wish I could still live in the insane with you. I wish I could be an amplifier for you. I wish I could still fly for you. I wish I could die with you. You hate it when I cry with you, so why do you always make me cry for you? Why do you force me to die for you all the time? I'm your zombie lover, standing for nothing except your brain.I wish I wanted to eat your brain but I only want to live inside of it. I'm your zombie lover trying and failing to haunt your memories. Why aren't you scared of me? You were never prepared for me. You never really cared for me or truly bared it all for me, until I was already buried. It's not like we were married or whatever. I just wish we could have carried the weight of our hearts together. But you never wanted my support or should I say weight, or should I say baggage, or should I say obnoxious and monotonous heavy heart?

You say you don't want to be with anybody right now. Does that make me just anybody? And don't kid me, please. I wish I wasn't so whiny and I wish your feelings weren't so tiny. I wish if I yelled, "Hide and seek!" you would actually try to find me. I wish you would be kind to me. I'm binded to my lonely splint of solitude. I wish people would quit asking about my mood as if they don't understand that I'm brooding my monotonous personal etude constantly. My etude's mood is a just a ******* boring dude at party.

We died in your arms.
Let me live in your arms.

Sometimes I wish there was little to say with nothing but time,
but there's so much to say and our time is gone.

If you are of something
you're there.

Heart's broke.

There's nothing to it's name.

Let's just stop and never blink

When I was young,
I used to always think
that the sky was crying when it rained

It was lonely and everybody always went inside
when it needed people the most

So when it rains,
I go outside and spend time with it
and catch raindrops on my tongue
like I'm kissing the sky.

You never think they'll hurt you
until you have no heart

I wish I didn't hate you.
I wish I stopped thinking about you
I wish I could stop listening to your favorite song
and hear your opinions and light voice
roughly waving over the rhythm and strum of a simple guitar

But I can't,
So I think about you
thinking about someone else
in the way you used to think about me

And suddenly my heart is missing.

In the fall--
No. In the Autumn--
You won't need to follow me.
We're headed for the same destination.
(It's forever unknown.)
I'll see you there.

I look back.

I know what I did.

I know that I'll do it again.

I know that I'm no good.

Where did you go?

Come back.


I need to look at you some more.



I need to meet you.




Come back into my life.






Oh wait...







You were never in it to begin with.

I don't feel like
any kind of person.

It's hard to hear affection
through a mouthful of lies
But I can dance to the rhythm
of the music of your demise

I'm so sick of blinking
especially when the darkness is so sweet
I hate that good things only last a second
like we only lasted a blink
and I only felt better for a blink

I'd rather look out for you
than look at you.

So once there is nothing left beneath my feet
except the stone cold floor on which I sleep
I have stand up and touch my toes
to cure my aching back made of stone
and I have to find a way
to bring myself to life
and I'm sure the only way
is to bring myself to light.

Why is your face
on the ground
if your head
is heaven?

My fears are on the market,
but all bets are low.

You made me forget why I hate myself.

I remember now.

There are two
still floating around
in the world somewhere.

I only know where one of them is.

Tomorrow never comes
Everyday is always today.

Your eyes are an inky oil painting,
when they leak
I miss that sinking feeling

My feet are restless
and my brain is reckless.

I'm awfully tired
of waking up in the morning
with misconceptions about the sun
being on my side.
It's over my head.
I'm not awake
and it's not morning.

I'm perpetually in mourning and
living at the wakes of the deceased.
The sun is only over my head,
to remind me that I only see darkness
at the brightest time of day.

I'm flawed if I'm not free.

But it doesn't matter,
because words don't mean anything to me.

Life never taught me how to love
but I hate you,
so at least it showed me how to feel

It's funny to think about all the times you asked me to smoke a cigarette with you and I told you it was too cold, so I waited patiently inside, knowing you'd come back.

Now I'd travel to Antarctica if it meant I could smoke a cigarette with you.

Now I smoke alone and the sound of me flicking the end of my cigarette sounds like the side-door to my brain opening and slamming shut--- the one only you have the key for.

No greater feeling
than breathing in oxygen
and loving the taste
of it's sweetness on your teeth

Most people make love,

But I'll always know

I was only made by love

to break love.

I'm looking in
but I'm inside too.

****.

Stop.
That's fine.
That's fine but you don't need to talk right now.
Don't you want to hear other people's thoughts?

I'm doing a little better now
...My mind is in a different place most of the time now
I don't write poems for him anymore now
but I lie to myself a lot more now
Because I still pretend he's holding my hand sometimes
and remember the old times when these times seemed years away.

My heart is a leaky pipe dripping tears into an empty bucket. **** it.