to be in a funk
and drift through
these days.

to be in a funk,
and stare wildly
into the ceiling.

to be in a funk
and wish that you'd
appear in my dreams.

to be in a funk
and talk loud
to hear myself.

to be in a funk
and put my face
to my palm.

to be in a funk
and want to
run away.

the trailer
nights were black
and cold.

hot breath
showed as it blew
through me, but
it wasn't enough
to keep me warm.

raw and real,
just as the elk standing
out in the frosted mist,
I could not help but be
reminded of how I have
been missed.

the faucet leaks,
there are missing tiles in the floors,
and the spiders crawl the peak
of my laundry mountain.

the space heater was the best
addition to my trailer life,
that is until the circuit blew.

tried and true,
I still want to believe in you.

and it makes me smile,
makes me hurt -
and all the while
you beat the death metal
drum inside of my heart.

city lights catch a glimpse
and let you glow
for only a moment,
just when you thought
you were well hidden
in the dark.
the stars don't shine,
and I now know that I
walk alone.

***** sits where the sidewalk
cracks, and the ambulance
cries as it zips by faster
than the blink of
my bored eyes.

It could not be any more
appropriate, I guess.
Early into November,
two tears
simultaneously streaming
down my cheek
only to meet in the center of
my lips.
forehead on the frosted window,
and she swerves.
tractor trailers blaze
against the highway sidelines,
and the sun is rising somewhere
through the blue woods.
two pillars standing tall
in between here and the distance.
I guess i found it to be best,
while others slept,
a silent weep.
through Autumn's bare trees,
tears fall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgSTG6z-KtE

on the film

there’s a story

and its told in black and white

in the writings

there’s a meaning

like when we stay up in the night

and in the winter

we dreamed that we would have our

life in our hands, and we’d be alrightwell now its summer

and you’re flashing me a light

in the middle of the night

i’ve always been running

and i ran into you

and i guess you ran in to me, too

but i’m still running

i don’t know what fromi don’t know where to

but i hope i’ll still have you

when it’s over

when our death is coming true

and if its true

when you say you can’t handle back ‘n’ forthand i’m too

misleading for what its worth

well, i’m sorry

but its a price you’ll have to pay

i never chose to be this way

a different person everyday

sometimes i don’t know what to say

can’t form the words like i could form some softened clay

i keep things in, but i don’t mean to keep them far away

i’m toughening upi’m getting righti love you, and thank

you for the fightsand your uppercut into meand how you

push my face into your kneeand your teethbreaking

sincerityand your hurtful honestyyeah it hurts mebut

what does not **** me makes me strongeri hope you hit

me a while longeri hope you’ll kiss me when i’m

weakwhen i am bleak and incomplete

thorns and thicker pull
my braids as I make
my way through your woods
to your field.
lifting my long black dress,
the morning dew has already
drenched me, cold and wet
the sun is still rising.
fog hovers in the distance,  
and light is beaming through
leaves that wish to turn their color.
beaming lights, and
you're everywhere, all around me.
it is just as I remember
seeing the morning unfold
years ago with you here,
only it was Springtime then, and
flowers were in the bloom.
it is autumn now, and I cannot
stay here forever.
picking thorns from my braids,
my feet are asleep and I am shivering.
Forever you will follow me
into the dark.

the sun shines brighter
could it be an indian summer?
i can't leave my bed
but the wind beats hard
through my window
and the the sun shines
brighter, sunlight ****
sunlight pours.
and you slip away forever
into the rays of each
new passing day.