a puff of smoke escaped his lips as he leaned against the balcony
the stars glowed and the city was loud with night goers
his hand stroked through his hair while the other hand tapped the cigarette on the edge of the stone anxiously

tap, tap ,tap

"you're going to die if you keep doing that."

her voice pierced through the night
turning around, he saw her standing at the large window, watching him pull the cig up to his mouth, and back down over the balcony

"that's the point, darling."

her puzzled expression tightened as she walked over to him and pulled the cigarette from his hand, dropping it off the balcony and watching it fall to the ground

"i'm not losing you"

the anxiety in her voice was obvious and her body clearly convulsed with panic
she leaned against his shoulder and kissed the side of his arm
gently, he pulled her long sleeve down and placed the pale skin in the yellow light, illuminating the red welts that stuck up

"you're going to die if you keep doing that"

repeating her words in a soft tone
he pulled her into his arms and caressed her hair
releasing her, he pulled out two cigarettes and a lighter

**"want to speed up the process together?"

Old, and weak
Laying in a casket full of cala lilies
Hearts beating slow
And tears spilling fast

"you're dead, my dear."

Words spoken in whispers
Collapsing out of the mouth
Thoughts of grief
Regret
Sadness
Anger
Denial

Standing at a podium
At the center of the holy place made for whorship
Say goodbye to loved ones
Write a eulogy and tell the world

"you were an amazing person"

"but you're dead now"

You played with her heart like a toy
Because it reminded you of a toy soldier
Keeping a beat with each move it made
You placed it on your window sill and let the cold, rain, wind, snow, ruin it.
You let it ***** and gather dust
And didn't bother to clean it off
You let it sit alone and break more and more everyday
You handed it to your friends and let them handle it just as harshly and you had yourself
Played catch with this fragile ***** and let it fall to the ground

You held her heart and let it shatter
You didn't care because she wasn't leaving
You let scars form on the edges of the tissue and blood seep out of the cuts
You didn't notice you'd ruined her until you walked to the window sill one day
And found nothing but dust where her heart used to be

She left your heart, black and blue, in the garbage
Because she decided to treat you
As badly as you treated her

Feeling like *******
While staring at unpainted walls
Letting their loneliness drown you

White like your skin
Like the scars you've filled your body with
Disheveled sighs and cumbersome lies

Empty sheets that wrapped themselves around you
Suffocated you under the pressure of despondency
Crashing over you like an ocean

His hands grabbing at your wrists

"Why'd you do this to your beautiful self?!"

Tears stream and words fall and nothing seems right anymore because you've lost hope
Hope that once kept you alive and breathing
It's now gone along with your soul
Nothing makes it better
Because you're cynical and mean

Quite pillow talk
Reveals your true thoughts of me
Late night discussions over cigarettes
"You're odd"
"But so are you, my love, and maybe that's why we work."
An awkward equation of random and weird
Two people meant to be
Spinning in a circle of curiosity