I have always imagined your touch as sunlight
As the heat trapped beneath my blanket when I first wake up
As the rug warming my bare feet in the morning
But that was before I realized I was loving a ghost
Before I saw my breath in front of my face
And realized we had just shared our first kiss
Before I wrapped my arms around myself after walking outside
Feeling the air cut through my skin like a thousand knives
Now I see you in the bottom of every glass
When I am left feeling even emptier than before I took a drink
Now I see you at the bottom of every staircase
As a reminder that even if I would jump
You wouldn't be there to break my fall
Because no matter how far a ghost's arms may reach
They'd never be solid enough to catch me.

There might be that trail of footsteps in the fresh winter snow,
Near the hill past the milk and deli store,
That lead to that path you have seen before,
They say this path has been destined for success,
Oh what the wonderful sights you'll see they say,
I look back and doubt the steps I've made,
Whether or not they will pay,
I stand here in the cold icy snow,
While people follow the same trail left behind for them to follow,
I change my route,
Doubts fill my mind,
I continue to walk in the other direction,
Firmly pressing each boot in that freshly fallen snow,
Thinking I will be the first one to create this other path for those to follow,
The bridge, the forest, Oh the beautiful scenery,
The dense cold air as it fills my lungs,
Fills me with satisfaction,
I've done what I've done,
Left a trail for those who follow it,
But the moral here is, be a leader and create your own path,
Don't choose to follow people's steps just because others have.

I love you to pieces
And that's where I've found myself
In pieces
Let's make peace of this
I wish you had become the serendipity I was hoping for but that's the thing
You can't look for serendipity
It's in the definition
But you defined me
You'll find me under the willow tree where we met
Wallowing in the self hatred and alcohol

But I know you won't come looking for me
You'll be reminding me that you always closed your eyes because you couldn't stand staring back at me
I wasn't the pretty you were hoping for
Just a place to park your manhood for a few nights

During the warfare of words
No matter what slander you bombard me with
All I'll ever have to say  about you
Is that "I loved him"

When all works that have
From cradle run to grave
From grave to cradle run instead;
When thoughts that a fool
Has wound upon a spool
Are but loose thread, are but loose thread;

When cradle and spool are past
And I mere shade at last
Coagulate of stuff
Transparent like the wind,
I think that I may find
A faithful love, a faithful love.