I am ready
I am waiting...

still.

I can say I'm not a patient person
and I know that you'd believe me.
I can say that I'd wait for you
and I hope that you would too.

You'll be with me soon
and my skin will tingle in anticipation
Our meeting will be like our first
but so very different.

I'll wait for now
and just make do with
excited outbursts

As the seas of grass
pass
by my periphery,
folivory turns into a blur,
and the whir
of an engine
deafens
my nerves, but not my mind,
and I climb to rewind,
to remind myself,
the way I
felt,
how you smelled
and it all melds
into one thing
bliss
from one kiss.
I couldn't miss this,
no, not this.

Excitement piques,
my heart seeks
you out.
I can feel you close
as I write this prose,
and then suddenly I am glass
as the seas of grass
pass
by my periphery.

I've just been broken into two -
The piece that stayed with me
and the piece that went with you.

Sometimes I think to myself,
"I can't do it anymore. It's just too much"
The pain is overwhelming,
It's too much to take.

I think to myself,
"I can't take this any longer"
as I clutch at my heart tearing itself apart.

And then I come to my senses,
"you don't have a choice, you'll deal"
I wipe away tears that have escaped.

"It's not like I can stop loving you. I can't just forget and move on. You are a need that another will not sate. I could never give up on you, you are my soulmate"

You've heard this before
but I thought I'd get it out of my head
such an interesting analogy
just can't be put to bed.



You were like a fast track train
of fiery male libido
heading down every path
going nowhere and everywhere
all at the same time.

Did you know what you wanted?
Did you have clue where you'd stop?

Then I waltzed across your tracks
at just the right moment
to get hit by a train going a hundred miles an hour.
We collided.

One would expect me to be sent flying
and you to carry on as you were.

But I didn't.
You stopped.
I looked at you
and you at me.
And I know that I fell for you
instantly.

I climbed up on your train,
eager to ride the rest of the way with you.

Just maybe not so fast this time.

Everything is so much harder
without your face to make me smile


What we have is open,
so why do I feel so closed?

I have no interest in another's lips
they just don't feel like yours.

I walk around like a whole person,
how can I be, when half of me
is a million miles away?

Night is the hardest.
My head gets the upper hand,
reminds me that the piece of me
that snuggles me closer
is missing.

Everything is so much harder
when you're gone.
I know my heart will beat stronger
when we reunite after so long.

I've missed your voice, love
more than I could ever say.
Even though it's in my head,
every single day.

It's like salt in a wound that won't heal
when I say goodbye to your face I can't feel.
It makes it fresh even though it's still new
It rubs raw my memory, the thought of you.

Blowing you a kiss when I can't kiss you for real
is a new kind of pain that I've felt before
it was just in my head, now I feel it in my core.
I want you more, I need you more, just give me more.

It hurts so bad, but I need it like this
to keep you with me, to remember your kiss.
It hurts right now, but it won't forever
one day you'll be mine, I won't need to remember.

I'm sure you could read passages from me
as easy as you read passages from a book.
I'm a picture book to you
and you are a novel to me.

How is it you are so versed in my thoughts
and yet you cannot recite your own?
Why can't you read me a page
from your inner monologue?

I would sing you my soul
to hear a line from your pages.
I would write you an essay
if it might unlock those cages.

Do you long to tell me just how you feel?
Is it festering inside, just waiting to unwind?
Are you afraid to admit, are you afraid you will reel?
I'm telling you now, all I will be is kind.

If not, that is fine.
You can stay a closed book.
Just make sure you close mine,
and put back what you took.

Every minute that ticks by
is another moment in the past.
Every week that slips away from me
is as if someone has answered my plea.

Every month that we witness
flash by in an instant
Every year that so cautiously lingers
brings us closer to a Mr. and Mrs.

And so every tear that I cry in your absence
will only glisten in your shimmering presence.
I shall only remember tomorrow
that each tear of joy or sorrow
simply Waters our garden.

To be anonymous
To be a shadow
To be or not to be
that is me.

To write what's inside
as plain as day on page
not between the lines,
and it's not a crime.

Oh, to be anonymous
is to be free.
Oh, to be anonymous
is to share what is me.
Oh, to me anonymous
means that you'll never see.

Sometimes I get to talk to you,
to listen to your voice and see your face.
but not to touch

I don't mind, not too much.

It's when you have to say goodbye,
when the last 'I love you' rings in my ears,
when I feel the grief

It steals my new found joy like a nimble thief

I hadn't even noticed it was gone,
but in one swift moment the emptiness crushes me
and I just feel.....wrong

Every time your name pops up
I get a little excited.
Every time you have to go
I feel a little slighted.

I know you have to go
you have things you need to do.
You are a busy man, I know
and I know you miss me too.

Imagine how I feel.
Wishing I had something,
anything,
to keep me occupied.
I can't help but think about you all the time
and wish that you were mine.

I don't know you all that well
and yet I want us to grow...
It scares me to leave my heart so open
I don't want you to go.

I want to see your name pop up
with a message that says,
"I'll be home in 10".
Home.
I wish I was your home.

It happened and I had no control over it
Suddenly everything we are just hit me,
and threw me,
and then it sunk in.
                                               What are the odds I'd find you
                                               You'd find me
                                                 We'd meet
                                                   We'd talk
                                                      We'd make love
                                                          We­'d fall in love?
I feel so much in this moment, staring into you
through a computer screen.
I see myself reflected in your eyes,
as if your very soul is trying to show me
my own inner beauty.

                                                  I couldn't see it before you
                                                  I didn't know myself
                                                  not like I do now.
You've shown me a lot,
taught me a lot,
let me grow.

And now I know.
It's truly you that I see
staring back at me.
An easy smile spreads across your lips,
you feel it too.

I feel like you're the only one I want,
the only one I need,
the only one that I can see
spending the rest of my life with.

My fingers are electric
when I touch them to your skin.
It's as though we're magnetic.
Now that doesn't make sense,
but neither do we.

I scrawl these words
across your chest.
I hope that they burn
and make you confess.

We are a funny fit
-does it make you want to run for it?

Finally.
Finally I have you next to me.
Finally I hear your heart beating
next to my own.
Finally, I am not alone.

And now I can feel you smile at me.
And now I have you close.
And now I see the love we share,
everytime I see your face.

I feel complete.
I feel brand new.
I feel all this,
when I'm next to you.

I want to tell you things
that scare me,
that hold me back,
that make me insecure.

I want to,
but I won't.

Because those things might scare you.
You might think I'm holding you back,
and suddenly you feel insecure.

About us.
About me.

The thing is,
I know you are one-of-a-kind
I know you are special.
I know you are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

But you don't,
not really.

I just hope that when you do finally see,
how extraordinary you are,
you will still come home and call me honey.

I love you.
I don't know how
and I don't know why.
I barely know you really.
I met you only so briefly.

Yet you resonated with me.
You, above anyone else, still occupy my thoughts.
You are the one I dream about.

Do I love you really?
I've only known you a short while
Most of that time we've lived separate lives
Seen other people
So do I love you really?
Am I just loving an idea of what we could be?
I don't know
How could I?
You don't really give me much to go on.
One minute you talk of the future
the next, you don't talk of much
and you hardly ever talk about how you feel.

So I am conflicted.
I know I feel very strongly for you
and yet I cannot make the decision of how I feel
when you give me nothing.

If this doesn't scare you away
I suppose we may just have what it takes
to find out if we love each other.

I could have my heart broken
by a hundred different men
and I could find it in myself
to learn to love again.

I fear you, for if you break it
it may never ever mend.
So please be sure you'll tend me,
or risk being just a memory I've penned.

I know you know
what I mean.

You read the words that my heart wrote
You pass them off - a simple quote

But I know you know
what I mean.

You bring them up for me to see
You joke with me - a silent plea

Dear, I know you know
what I mean.

You can't face your own heart up front
but you can read mine when it's so blunt

Yes I know you know
what I mean.

You can keep it inside if you want to
You can act like you haven't got a clue

Honey,
You know I know you know
what I mean though.

Soulmate.
How to know exactly what it means?
It isn't all that hard,
at least it's not to me.

We had an instant connection
with every new word spoken
and now you are my heart's protection,
healing all the times it was broken.

I can feel you pulling me nearer
from a thousand miles away.
The pain only feels dearer,
as I miss you more than I can say.

I am living with half a heart,
as you will always have the other,
but still it feels more one part
than ever I could recover.