I feed off of peoples energy

if you're happy
I'm happy

If you're angry
I'm angry

If I'm not around people
For too long
I am empty
I feel nothing

So many things rattling around in my head
questions without answers
screaming at me from the backs of my eyelids

Yelyelyelling
What the what the what the ****
are you doing with your life
You haven't done **** **** ****
today

You have it so easeaseasy
you should get out and dododo some thing
where are you going in life

echos around
the canyons and crevasses of my mind

And then I fold myself into your arms
and everything is silent
Just the comforting hum of your existence

Angry so much angry
more and more frustrated
its blinding
I can't do anything right
don't talk to me
You're standing to close
too much angry
maybe if I keep washing my hands
scrub harder
get all of this off
like black oil clinging to my skin
all this hate
the stench I can't get it off
Hotter water
more soap
My hands are raw
But still unclean
I feel disgustingly filthy
coated on the backs of my hands
in the creases of my palms
packed under my nails
my internal voice is screaming till its raw
just a violent ringing in my ears
and a blur of frustration

Sometimes it's hard not to hate you
you care more for you girlfriends
(Meant to be plural)
then you've ever shown for me
your flesh an blood
you brought into the world

You've distanced yourself from me
left me behind to live with a monster
so you could feel better

All I hear from you
is she's so serious about this
or I like how she does this
she's a wonderful that.

I try to be happy for you
but sometimes its hard not to hate you
and sometimes when you talk to me
I just want to be a sarcastic *****
but I don't

It hurts to miss you as much as I do
I can't stay still too long
it fills up the space I'm in
I can smell it in my clothes

I miss you
like a silent prayer
a mantra
a chant in the back of my mind

It rolls of my shoulders in pale plumes of white smoke
Leaving a fog in my wake
I can't sit still too long
else I loose sight of everything around me

I miss you
a simple song playing on repeat
I hum along
the tune sticks in my mind

It's hard to live life
with half a beating heart
when the other beats for you
without my favorite piece there's a hole in my existence

I miss you
How I long for your closeness
your peaceful energy
that quiets my screaming soul

Burnt myself again today
need to be more careful with fire

I don't get out much
but there isn't much to do on the outside

The stillness in this house
on a higher level than most

Like time ceases to exist
once I stepped through the door

I just press the button play the music
and melt out of my physical being

Float through my days
in the melancholy light

Going about my crafts
singing to the silent audience that is my home

I'm sorry
   It was I that killed you

Put my blade in your back
     Wicked way with words

Honestly I hope it was painful
     Not a quick easy death

Dug deep into your shoulder blade
       Close to your heart

Leaving you to wonder
       Who betrayed you