Reflecting disdainfully, remembering painfully,

upsetting, annoying, troublesome

Bickering, sarcastic, disputing, bombastic,

arrogant, conceited, unwelcome

Fastidious relations, private fixations,

foreboding, disturbing resentment

Silently scheming, nobody weeping,

selfish, unblinking, TRIUMPHANT!

Sunk in my armchairI stare from the gloomThe never-ending soundOf cars that drift onWith minds on the roadAnd eyes straight aheadCash register for mileageChing ching in their head-If stripped of the clothingAre we all just the sameWe want to be themTo be part of this gameAnd the cars that drift onWith their badges of wealthThese tokens of greatnessMuch better than mine-Once I was partOf this greed that we wantBut now I am nothingSomeone that just hopesMy boys birthdays comingHow much would it costTo bring smiles to his faceWithout knowing the lossYet who will sufferAs my daughter is nextAnd kids have no boundariesWhen friends have the best-And people with moneyNow scorn on my lifeTo some I’m a scroungerWhilst dodging tax with their perksThose LLP peopleWho employ mystery wivesAnd lie on their tax billsTo hoard cash for their lives-A tenner for cleaningAn old boys flatBuys cake for my kidsAs a one off treatYet who is more guiltyOf conning the stateAs I sit in my armchairAnd cars drive on past

If only for peace his swan song sighed

Amidst the gallant yet frightened few

With weary bones a heavy heart

Beat might when spied the resilient wharf.


For ships who berthed they uttered words

In thanks for land upon this sea

As storms would rage to shatter strengths

In triumph our pier had welcomed thee.


Like those who’d trod its solid beams

And left these shores to honour King

Behind them stood our naval borough

Whose people echoed valiant deeds.


For ships that harboured off our shores

And streets of London that prayed for calm

Forget we not our honoured task

To protect this land in air & sea.


And now that candles gently flicker

Uniting friend & foe as one

As doves fly by we thank the heavens

For the peace that grows upon our cliffs

Storms of oblivion cloud my mind

As I battle to moor my inner conscience

Life was once an abundance of hope

Defeated & beaten by reckless dreams.

Embittered storms that ravage seas

Darkened clouds that strike with fear

With lowered heads we fight in vain

But waters always find a flaw.

-

Deep inside and further down

Visions of guilt burn through my mind

Release the pain in a barge of gold

But left to sail these waters alone.

Confused I wait upon my berth

Entangled doubts that weave my mind

Careless I drift alone and forlorn

As I battle the waves that engulf my soul.

-

Thursdays child was marked from birth

But shoes of stone have held him back

In a struggle of life that ponders deep

Where waters flow and never cease

Desperate times bring wish well friends

Brazen words and reckless deeds

Consume a passion that passes time

Yet plates lay bare & casks run dry.

Perched high upon this jutting cliff

The flint stood hard upon my feet

I lay with lizards and basked in warmth

As beneath the waves rose & swirled

-

Across the bay the castle walls

That stand in time & in a time

Many have been and dabbled in myths

To take the steps and do the climb.

-

Below the sea strikes on the rocks

And hides the cave where magic lies

As people wait for tides to drift

And venture down in search of quartz

-

The rolling slopes and ragged crags

Engulf the isle that now lays calm

Where once was death and battles fought

And magic brought the golden one

-

Behind my back stands Barras Nose

Who’s clash is vain with battling seas

As heat comes down and warms my soul

I lowered my head in prayer for thee

-

Whilst lost in thought of fallen foe

And knights that fought upon this spot

Of myths & legends within my heart

What was the power that turned the key

-

And waves that flow forever on

Like time can drift and so can life

Today I laid upon this cliff

And breathed the air absorbed as one

-

My eyes look out across this place

The colours that fester upon the land

From grass & rock & sand & sea

And birds that swoop in endless song


-


And those before and yet to come

Like beating rhythms within my mind

To find a place that brings you peace

As reality calls and beckons you home

A restless mind keeps dreams at bay

Now copper taints my golden ones

In spiders webs are gathered thoughts

That hang from threads this life has spun.



In borrowed clothes we huddle tight

But youthful minds find wonders true

Friends that mock and judge our plight

But pride does come before we fall.



Chests that heave and long for touch

That burst with pride in shining shoes

But leathered souls will wear in time

And innocents grow with doubts of you.



Cherished things from long past lives

That lose their gleam on pawn filled shelf’s

And clothes we wore when once were proud

Now hang from limbs like tattered shrouds.



Yet restless minds with flickered thoughts

Find strength to grasp and hold what’s true

Like sands that slip through nothing hands

We drift in search of hopes a new.



Then winter brings those chilling winds

That holds our breath in sleepless nights

As rain seeps in through leaking roofs

The cobwebs grow in darkened heights.



Where golden dreams are all that’s left

And children’s laughs bring hidden cries

Where strength is found in food we eat

But pride has left without goodbye………

Breathless I stare aghast and opaque

Stripped bear to the flesh, beaten & broke

Quests can no longer quench my soul

My innards are shred as wounds to the world.

Open sores cover where once was a cross

Halielujah I’ve cried but find it hard to respond.

My armour was strong my speed was my guide

To Jerusalem I rode with God on my side

For Christendom, eternity, In Hoc Signo Vinces

The steel of my sword that wielded the light.

Comrades whose love have camped by my side

Lay scattered, defeated, beaten & lost.

On this sand I now kneel my sword as my rest

My beliefs have deserted alone I must die.

Good knight is my prayer 50 bezants were true

Exuvias Modo Mortales, just mere mortals to you.

Closing my eyes the trumpets have gone

Visions of Jesus & Godfrey before

As the sand passes over and creeps through my bones

Death is my end but a matyr am I

As boys we dreamed and hoped to be

We watched the game and chose our team

Match day comes and passions rise

We gather in tribes & watch from sides

We’ve spent a week of misery

In life & work that has to be

Our only escape is on TV

And hope the wife stops nagging me!

-

Then match day comes & passions thrive

I stand and feel the bile’s rise

And those I cheer are part of me

The team I watch and want to be

He’s off his game it angers me

I shout I scream it should be me

Yet they all seem to disagree

But they don’t feel the pain in me

Coz he’s the best there’ll ever be

How dare he try to degrade me

He scores a goal no good for me

He should have scored already 3!

-

The whistle blows it comes to an end

I cross the pitch he sees a friend

But do I say “well done my son?”

I moan at him for missing one!

-

What right have I to tarnish thee

His garbled words his looks at me

An adults fears and misery

Are skills we teach too easily

We fail in life but hope they’ll be

The dreams we lost but yearn to see

He wants to be from watching me

I shout I swear accusingly

The love we shared can never be

We fight we scream so bitterly

He sits he stares he looks at me

Then turns his back forever on me!

A petal falls so silently

To land and rot amongst the weeds

A roses head tilts & sighs

Its stalk been snapped by wicked lies

Each day you toil to keep alive

Your dreams of love that never die

But weeds grow up and strangle stems

As blood drips from the petals end

Your lawn was lush and velvet green

Now dry & barren like your dreams

And age has caused your bones to tire

Your hands are cracked with skin so dry

You mask your pain in solitude

Bereft of friends that vanquished you

And as you prune each budding shoot

You snap the growth of disrepute

Oh how you once was young & free

You bloomed & blossomed flirtingly

Each eye you caught would turn a head

But times have passed & lovers left

A robin sits and watches you

His gentle verse that warms you through

But robins fight & guard their place

Whilst you just laughed amidst disgrace



Indoors he sits a lonely man

Across the table his bread & jam

And through the glass he watches you

Inside he cries at nothing new

A once proud man who gave his life

Who gave you all as man would wife

And yet here now he sits alone

The man you loved no longer known

The smile that wooed a million girls

That made you heart a merry whirl

But now the bones are cleansed of meat

His once large frame admits defeat

He grasps for thoughts no longer there

And through the glass he sits & stares

His children come his children go

The names of which he’ll never know

You made a vow to stand by thee

So still you tend & still you ****

But deep inside you’re very scared

To lose your rock that always cared

Yet still you hide in solitude

The pain that hurts inside of you

A petal falls so silently

To land and rot amongst the weeds

Hearts are pounding
Blood is rushing
Eyes are staring
Bodies shoving
Nerves are tingling
Thoughts are buzzing
Focus strong
Stadium hushing

On Your Marks
                 Get Set
                        Go!

Feet are pounding
Bodies rushing
Eyes are staring
Athletes shoving
Pack is tightening
Check your running
Focus strong
Hide your cunning

Legs are pounding
Hold the rushing
Eyes are staring
Watch the shoving
Stride is stretching
Pack is splitting
Focus strong
Not for quitting

The bell rings
       Last Lap!

Heart is pounding
Others rushing
Eyes are staring
No more shoving
Pace is quickening
Muscles aching
Focus strong
The Line’s for taking

The race ends
  Victory Lap!

Heart still pounding
Thoughts are rushing
Eyes are staring
Media shoving
Lungs are bursting
Tears are gushing
Focus gone
Defeat is crushing

Darkness prevails in a world full of tears

Defeated in battle and vanquished afar

Alone and on board I’ve sailed through the mere

I’ve beckoned her name but sunk only to depths

The steel that once fuelled the soul of my kin

Belongs in the shrine of the hand of my liege

Who’s might I saw crumble as he fell to the ground

But found breathe to summon and ask me this deed

Yet death was a whisper so imminent my friend

As I knelt at the cross of your beloved Sword

Silently she sleeps alone in her dreams

Is it here I exist or am I a myth

Illusions are real as I lay by her side

Yet tonight I felt lost the fires have died

The room where we loved no longer feels warm

Our once flowering bed now ravaged by thorns

My head lays in nettles my limbs upon weeds

And still she sleeps alone in her dreams


I watch her breathe she murmurs she moans

There are two in this bed but one is alone

Her mind is her secret kept hidden from me

Her words are like legends in stories she weaves

But words are not spoken when love is not real

Truths are kept secret and never revealed

A tear gently forms to run down my cheek

And still she sleeps alone in her dreams

In youth I’ve glimpsed

But with age come constraints

Days disappear as I stay in time

Yesterday I played outside with my friends

Today they are gone, dead, alone

A black mist swirls and tempts my anger

A ****** heart squeezed tight in my fist

An unquenchable thirst a desire to lust

To be free to enjoy to taste the delights

But then I play its yesterday

Outside in the yard with my friends

The poison that works within my soul

Chastises the angel that lives in my mind

Ahead is a battle, a fight I must win

Aside are my brothers whose arms they do bear

We warrior clan that fight only for kin

With swords as our cross to protect us from sin

Roads that we tread are often retraced

Once more into battle, once more we must brace


The poison controls and runs deep through my veins

My sword severs limbs, my angers now rage

My shield is pushed tight, the smell of his breath

Beneath I stab hard the, warmth of his flesh

And on to the next as we stand side by side

Driven by brothers, their blood curdling cries

The crush is unyielding pushing air from my lungs

My armour is heavy but my honour is strong

Yet on do I surge as the poisons runs deep

Chastising those angels that lived in my mind

The nails I’d grown

To cultivate

Dug deep & hard

In pallid flesh

I pulled my skin

Across my chest

And felt my ribs

That grasped for breath.



And as I lay

The more I thought

What tastes disturb

Upon my tongue

As teeth bit hard

On anxious flesh

And death recoiled

At what I’d come.



As nerves crept through

My empty veins

I challenged sense

Of earthly realms

Those cries I hear

On silent winds

That sing of death

And thrive in dreams.



Was I the one

That took first bite

Upon your stained

& soiled sheets

And satins touch

Is Satans lust

That spurred us on

In savage feast.



Inside I feel

The acids joy

That courts my soul

And marries minds

As logic flirts

And lures my will

In dance that speaks

Of tales unkind.



To walk in death

With memories lost

As shadows flit

We move in time

And nails that press

And rip my skin

Are needles through

My ravaged arm.



Now gone are days

And gone is slumber

As nights draw in

And waken me

To taste your flesh

Is my desire

And purge myself

Of dignity.