Love defined
by honest yet kind
eyes
of the deepest flesh wound.
Silhouettes of loneliness
to unfamiliar minds.
Questioning night skies;
ignored by dreamer’s dreams.
The pacing of our racing
pulse
drowning out everything.
Unaware of everywhere,
yet rippled at the seams.
Acknowledging imperfections
disguised as real perfection.
This ignorance is bliss
if at all it does exist.

I never wanted
to hate you.
We could just never
make it through
a conversation
without some
confrontation.
Bringing up the past;
fermentation
of unrealistic
expectations.
And I’m not saying
that I’m the saint
of this situation.
I know that I’ve been
vacant.
But can you blame me
for trying to preserve
my memory
of the mother
you used to be;
smiles not filtered
through amphetamine.
Teeth gleaming,
eyes seeing
past the woes of this world
you created me for.

For so long, it seems,
like my life has been moving
in one direction
with no suggestion
from myself.
In a vegetative state,
not wanting to take the blame
for my existence.
But that ****
gets old real quick.
Dwelling on what I did
or didn’t do;
New opportunities
passing by in full view.
Attainable,
but I have to break through
this barrier of apathy and grief
held towards a world
that never wanted me.
Haphazardly hoping
that a greater man
had a greater plan
than birth and death,
but all the rest
is up to me
it seems.
In between
two unchanging variables,
I’ll exist until relieved.
Until then I’ll try to be
Something...

Sadness sits on my pursed lips
as I try to find the words
to sheath the swords of warriors
rallied behind the curse of their perspective.
So apathetic
towards unfamiliar rhetoric.
Content to revel in
the division of their fellow men.
Like understanding is limited;
It’s not.
Getting caught up in the delusion
is never the solution.
A full bowl cannot be filled.
The idea of peace cannot be killed
by black or blue
or bullets flying through
the news.
The media telling you
which side to take
instead of providing a way
to learn from the mistakes
of a country founded
on issues that have been compounded
by years of willful ignorance.
Of course times are tense
with everyone trying to make sense
of their place in this nation;
some trying to escape it.
All aware of the vacant
presence of people willing to delve
into some ideas beyond themselves.

Another day,
Another dawn,
Another cause
lost
in the thought of the cost.
Hesitation based
on mistakes that were made
during days that do not pertain
to the present.
Yet here I sit,
so limited
by the idea
that I could make them again.
If only I could shelf
this insecurity of self
and find the hidden wealth
of my efforts.
I need to stop stammering
through the silence.
There's no chance of igniting this
Without a spark,
Without a start,
Without the art
of it all.
Better to fall
with my feet facing forward towards
the notion of something more
than to retreat into the known;
content to be alone
with what the shadows show.
Ignoring the potential of my soul
- That light, seeping in,
past the scope of my willful ignorance.

Wake up.
Breathe.
Try to get a grip
so that I can lift
the weight of this reality.
Thoughts on stream.
Moral compass buffering.
Spitting so there’s some shine;
so clean.
No need to wonder why,
accept that tainted gleam.
Seeing is believing,
and I’ve gone blind
trying to find the meaning behind
the reflection in your eyes.
Shattered mirror every time
I catch a glimpse of myself;
looking for anything else
to be
other than me.
One day these warring factions
might make peace or sense.
Straddling the fence
that divides nature vs will.
See, I don’t have to ****
to know that death resides
on the dark side of this strife,
but when it comes to life
I have the hardest time
determining what is right.
When there are infinite sides
to every person and story
I can’t help but worry.
In a perpetual state of anxiety,
as I fail but keep trying
to understand why
this drive - to know
consumes my soul.