Particular thoughts tickle my dome
like the day my thumb got stuck in my mouth
and how long it took me to get it out
or when Betty stole my doll but i knew
coz i didn't like it at all
and when all i ate was a peanut butter jelly roll
coz it was the only thing i ever enjoyed

it's amazing how i have grown
how i've gone from dressing dolls to dressing myself
making sure i look good for the boys
instead of Barbie looking good for Ken


I walk through castles and dont build them anymore
dont chase butterflies
coz i already feel them in me
when Nick comes running along
dont believe in fairy tales
coz reality has struck me today alot
growing up takes a lot of time and effort
and looking down memory lane brings me joy
when i wake up in the moring
and find us cuddling in our spot

like a piece of paper
printed-stored in a dark file
then -after a while placed inside a shredder
that how useless i felt
when our love went through the wire
it doesnt matter how much i couldve prayed
but i had fallen pray
of this cycle of life that happens day by day

like a piece of paper
i got recycled-re vived again
as to become useful to somone
out there
willing to make me appreciated again
turning me into something different
making me feel useful again

pegz (c)

shhh let me tell you a secret
a share of my experiences
let me let you in on what i do behind closed doors,curtains and walls
allow me to confide in you my greatest regrets
my greatest adventures
my timeless conquests

i hope you can hear me
for these walls have ears
and this secret i have been holding onto for ages
should be for your ears only

my feelings seem to be burning with passion,affection and attraction
my eyes have ben fixed on you since the day i knew you
the thing is that im too proud and cant stand rejection
but i know that if you were mine life would be like a simple journey
out of space
back to earth
in the sea
then out to dry land again
it would resemble wonderland
you would be that path that shows me where love is again
the one who replaces my heart and makes me live again

i've always kept this secret
coz i didnt know how you would react as i dilute this
onto you as a solvent of this deep emotional aura im in
would it realy solve this problem
would this make you gracefully tuck my body into your arms
so that i can feel like no harm will ever come by when its just you and i
just you and i

You played some music & you took a glimpse at me
Those steps you took to get to me, had me wondering
When you stare into my eyes
What are you thinking?
When you stare at my lips
What are you wishing?

When im with you
How do you feel?
Have you felt like this recently
If yes, how come it changed so quickly?

Tell me the reason why you want me near
What makes you want to see me again?
What is it
That is written on ur mind
That is so unclear but in plain sight

When you first saw me
Did your heart beat as fast?
As the beat you are dropping now as you sitting behind the counter in that seat
The beat that I heard you playing that day we met on Kasi streets

I can spend my day racing questions in this pool of memory
The  ones you take me back to when you play those melodies
But il never have the answers, only uncertainty
So I'll leave that up to you
To do the reasoning
If you know what I mean

I need myself back
I've been to virulent places
Beyond my choices
Just so that I can please the pack

I need myself back
I've changed my hair,shoes,clothes, food
And went loose all in the name of the pack

When did the statutes printed in my mind get erased
The conscience that I used to have went blank

Oh how I need myself back
I dont know how I got side tracked
Coz being part of the pack has made me lose tact
I have wondered into a world that has me sacked
I feel trapped
All because of the pack

But now I realise that joining the pack
Was a threat to myself
So I need myself back
I want my sense back

Ps Radebe.

Lil Bug living your life on a lifeline
running around getting food to survive
now you're going around not knowing your fate
or if you'll make it home cos you know you're not safe  

anything & everything is the enemy
when it looks at you, first thing that comes to its mind is "time to eat"
in a split second you are devoured & its the end

so Lil bug be careful, there's a hand & someones feet
when they see you all they think about is that "it's time to ****"
you are not safe Lil bug in this big world
that even human beings have difficulty living in

but you are very brave cos you swallow your fear
and face the world as it is
like a soldier in the battlefield
you are ready for anything

so Lil bug go on living your life
cos Lil bug we only survive here on earth by faith


SP. Radebe