I cannot loose you.
Please don't let me loose you.
I cannot bear to feel this pain.
I have seen the signs of separation from your eyes.
I have seen the pain i might have caused you,
I have gone through the pain of begging to be with you.

I can never be perfect.
I can never try to be someone else,
but each day as i look in your eyes i wonder whether you feel the same way that i do.
I can see how much my personality bores you to death.
This becomes so painful because i know i can never change.
This is who i am.this is where i feel most comfortable.
This is who i thought you loved in me.

A few days ago i saw you freeze to the thought of spending a week with me.
I set it aside but today i saw how much you would do not to do it at all.
It kept my mind wondering how could you despise me so much?
And yet still beg to be with me?

in your shadow i stand
with tears that wont fall

in ur shadow i remain

cause its where u want me to be

i have thought of termination

but its so hard to do

cause i still believe in us

even though it hurts to be at the back

i remain ur second

to a point wher i dnt exist

pushed at the back

with the promise of friendship

a friendship that was once so good

i have mumbled

i have cried

i have laid back

hoping u would come back

and reality hits so strong

at the glance of your new love

and i wonder why do i

remain ur second best.

When I heard of your return
When I heard a seven year gap creep closer and closer and closer
When my heart felt like a loser
Cheering and pouncing in a moment of no oxygen supply

How could my heart bonce up and down
As if the muscles wasn't worn off because of the seven year gap without thee beat
Tell me how you managed to question my best days existence because of your absence?
Tell me why would the mention of your name threaten my life's work.my life's fake life, my so called life,life liiife
Tell me why do I dream of you as near when we where so far away from each other
How could time have taken so much less,In so much time

On the first night your lips mesmerized mine I didn't love you
On the day we sneaked to get a feel of what was never supposed to be I didn't love you
When I couldn't sleep mesmerizing about the forbidden touch I didn't love you
When I silently waited for our forbidden meetings I didn't love you
When I ran so in need of your touch to my room during lunch time I didn't love you
When I found your heart pulsating on my door for a moment of pleasure I didn't know you didn't love me
When we fell inlove and out of love with other people  I knew I don't love you
When we pretended and became best friends I knew I didn't love you.
when you fell inlove I didn't love you
When I fell inlove I didn't love you
When I got married I didn't love you
When I had my kids I didn't love you
When I could still feel the touch of your **** body on mine at family gatherings with a mere hug I didn't love you
when I tried so hard to forget you I didn't want to love you.
When we met every week for passionate meetings I did not love you
And today I want you to know that I don't love you and never loved you
I am just waiting for my next meeting with you so that I don't love you

How could you, how did you?
In a few months that our so called was created.
How can I hate you and miss you so much?
My point, your point, was there even any point?
One blow after the other,piercing into my fragile heart.
Like an opponent I waited for the bell.
Even as I write a blow just waived through.
I tried to go down and you followed me,like a scorned child I opened the door
As I moved up you came throwing a lie of forgiveness.
I accepted as my heart was shielded by fake reunion,fake wishes flying on our heads as we lied to the world.
How could you, how did you?
The unshakeable me was shaken to a point of no return today
From your desire to hold on to my drowning self to survive
How could you hold on to me?when you new I could not swim?
As I drown kicking and screaming,I can still feel your hand pushing me down
My so called Nemesis/friend/killer