i want to fly high as a kite.. to see the sun shining so bright.. i **** a bowl before i take this flight.. wanting it to be a delight.. not something that gives me fright.. something so good that it makes me laugh the whole night.. i spark a jay while no ones in sight.. walking around with my imagination up in the heights.. come blaze with me.. you just might see the beauty and the peace from a little bag of trees.. cant say this isnt good.. thank god they put it in my hood.. i hit a **** where i stood.. lighting up my world like it should.. what is this world coming to? these days it's all about wars and coups.. forming units and crews.. shooting missiles while sipping on half a brew.. so i half bake a brownie and chew.. at first i didnt know what it was, but i just flew.. taking this flight that was long overdue.. didnt know what they were saying .. just a bunch of hullabaloo.. up here, i can see everything till timbuktu.. what am i trying to do? nothing.. just trying to get lit.. how about you?

pauldeeeeee
31mar2011

sometimes i miss the touch of your hands that run through my hair.. i miss the way you laugh at me when i swear.. i miss those times when you and i were just unaware of anything but ourselves.. i sing a poem for you.. for me to be able to bear the despair.. sometimes i still say i love you even it hurts most of the time.. but what i do is no crime.. im starting to clean the dirt and grime thats rotting in my mind.. creating rhymes to pass the time.. why is it that  always have to suffer? my whole life has been rougher.. yeah, i know these things have made me tougher.. but now that youre gone, i dont even have a buffer to save my thoughts that are still blurred by who you've become.. you see, i miss the days where it was just you and me.. pushing forward just so we'd be happy.. singing songs even if we were ******.. still seeing each other knowing i was snappy.. i guess after seven years, things change.. feels like having a mobile phone thats out of range.. i find it strange how our lives are now arranged.. thinking i must be out of my mind, deranged.. like a wild dog trapped in a cage.. this is  why i pour my rage on this stage.. wanting to place this insanity on this page..  wanted to write something out of this world.. but this is how this is how this unfurled.. thinking my mind must have left me totally swirled.. i miss those days we were carefree.. seeming like either one of us is a retiree.. but i know i was never a guarantee.. all i knew was to love thee.. to show you what love really meant.. needing nothing but each other, not even a cent.. im not quite sure where all of that went.. suddenly all you felt was discontent.. and all i did was ask myself to represent..to represent something i believed in.. i shared with you what i thought was the best of me that i couldnt segment.. i fixed everything except this dent.. carving a deep hole thats wide enough to pitch a tent.. things were empty for me since you left.. feeling like ive been involved in a theft.. sometimes i miss waking up with you right beside me.. the warmth of your heart was enough to make me feel ecstasy.. but now i find myself alone and  starting to like it.. learning about myself just for the hell of it.. pushing pens out my arms just cause the world is full of ****.. once again i take a hit.. a good **** to avoid my mind being split.. staying away from you cause i got the hint.. drinking a pint just so my world wont get bent.. writing this poem so my soul wont get spent.. so i tuck my head down.. pen in hand, thought in head, spit on page.. halfway through i close my eyes to see what lies beneath this broken spirit.. seeing fires burn where your place used to be.. trying to drown this fire so i can feel free.. fighting off demons and banshees.. thinking of where to go when im out at sea.. oftentimes i thought of you as a burden.. piercing me with the sharpest blade you own.. which was yourself, a clone.. bashing my heart and spirit with a sharp stone.. feeding me with lies, thinking it was a bone.. now though, i really dont know.. unsure if what im feeling is that fire or the snow.. so i close my eyes and go with the flow.. waiting for an attach from this foe.. dodging sharp arrows like a pro.. im thinking to myself that i have to go.. to a place where people will teach me how to grow.. now i know i have to thank you for opening up another path for me to take.. singing a tune cause i know this aint fake.. riding a boat across the lake.. starting to feel better knowing i dont need to punch on the break.. never looking back, cause everything right here and now is really what's at steak..

pauldeeeeee
3apr2011

there are times that i would just let my mind wander.. trying to dissipate the negativity from down under.. and sometimes it makes me wonder.. why our days of freedom have gone asunder.. i  am here to state mans divinity.. cant you see? the lies that have been layed out to runneth with oils and minerals being poured into our pockets like honey bees.. this poem will set us free.. waking us up to see all of the earths crease.. their lies will never cease.. thats why i am here to state mans divinity.. there is no more time segregation nor fear.. the time for a new age draws near.. we, the special beings down here, cry for freedom and peace.. to stop people counting 365 days a year.. are we part of the solution? or are we part of the pollution? these things aint supposed to be.. keep singing tunes and reciting rhyme schemes while holding a bag of trees, passing the time from within the seems.. our lives play like movies in dreams.. unaccepting the truths that the lies bring.. gone are the days where our hearts can just sing.. nowadays it's all about the bling.. and all the world wait for their mobile phones to go kring.. where are the times when time was just a fling.. where society actually cared about their men.. not treating them like arses and hens.. we holla at the lies being shown.. not realizing that everything we buy, they own.. our minds are being controlled and our spirits are being blown.. i am here to state mans divinity.. able to create from here to infinity.. all the hatred of the world is hatt brought me here to embrace and understand duality.. to know why we have this affinity.. it is much like a coin, there are heads and tails.. but those heads never see those tales.. thats because we catch what would eventually fail.. so i step inside myself and set sail.. to a journey from within our own grail.. to find the love that will set our goal.. that love vibration will shine so fast and so bright that it will emanate through our soul.. let that beat sing through the possibility of this positivity of this little bowl.. so i say stay away from the system.. and let teachers, teach.. let prophets, preach.. these words will never expire because of the beats of these beaches.. stop taking these leeches given to us by the men in robes to hide their faces.. changing their scenes to ruin our inner places.. our homes are invaded by brands that are faceless.. rappers spit about the incompetence of men and the riches of non-repentance.. i am here to state the divinity of man.. and yet i have spoken truths about this duality.. hope is what keeps the humility.. and love gives the vibration of our frozen cryogenic anenemity.. we must not fear ourselves.. those demons inside of us is part of the lies that they make us buy.. those are guardians.. able to protect and grow inside of us.. i am to state mans divinity.. so are you part of the fear? or are you part of the ones who want to be set free?

pauldeeeeee
1may2011

there is a diamond in the sky which i stare at.. asking the heavens to send me an informant.. a lingering soul that can guide me to experience moments so my mind wont stay so dormant.. time and again i have tried to touch that diamond in the sky.. to help me learn how to subside this battle cry.. to soften my hardening heart so i may learn to fly.. to create a reality that no amount of gold can buy.. but then again, i have never been able to reach this diamond in the sky.. my thoughts are shrouded with the clouds blinding my sight so i wont see this diamond shining in the sky.. i make a track spin and read a magazine.. but i get lost with the sound of this magdalene.. and while i prepare to light this green, i remember why this became my gasoline.. now im trying to change what ive seen.. go to to places that ive never been.. but i always end up standing, watching from where im standing.. taking each step without fear nor without looking.. feeling my way through these streets, full of color and vigor.. full of violence, strife, and pain.. the people up top has changed how they leave their stain.. leaving us in doubt and disdain.. where do i go from here? for my diamond in the sky never took my claim.. leaving stars shining to create a ripple of broken dreams and frozen chains to distract us from who we really can be.. cant you see? that those stars can never set us free.. we are trapped in a box with metal bars and broken mirrors so i will never be able to find the true me.. memories are now just passing waves in my head.. tides that sometimes wont let go till i bleed to feed this need to be freed.. my dreams now seem so far away just cause of how i arranged this deed.. never have i agreed to sign this creed.. to be locked, blinded and deafened by silence and zero tolerance.. all thats left for me is my defiance.. to keep my humility without having any vengeance.. lets give love a chance and let go of fear in advance.. let life not be a hindrance.. cause no matter what we do or where we go, we will always learn forgiveness by holding their hands.. happiness is a choice.. a choice between just thinking it or using our voice.. soon we shall all rejoice.. giving forgiveness and love to others by choice.. not by chance nor by accident.. we are free.. cause what we want and what we need is what we always see..

pauldeeeeee
11may2011

feeling it pierce my skin is a mysterious thing.. a type of pain that makes my heart sing.. it's funny what this emotion of expression can bring.. scraping my skin while all i feel is this sting.. so i lie and wait for us to start.. then i hear the machine hum.. my heart starts beating like a pounding drum.. my skin starts to feel numb.. this symbolic expression of myself in this art begins as my soul takes depart.. a temporary place where i can restart so my life wont fall apart.. this journey of pain and skin scraping keeps me sane.. accompanied by good music and mary jane.. as the pain begins to seep, my mind trickles in a drain.. washing away the heavy thoughts and the broken heart.. releasing the hate and the blame.. singing songs to keep myself tame.. with this ritual, i reclaim my creative independence.. with this artist i attendance, she looks at me to see my soul in transcendence.. slowly, this story of art begins to take shape.. this experience is more than an escape.. it is where dreams and creativity take shape.. it is where superheroes design their cape.. where love and passion dance around imagination.. this is where a poet would write a narration.. where fire and water dance in harmonious flotation.. now the pain gets my eyes in dilation.. but i know this is temporary.. for this expression of art has no expiration.. here i am ready to take the bait.. this is where i escape to less hate.. to strengthen the space where love gestates.. to have more than one reason to feel lightweight.. once in a while i find myself starting into the mirror.. looking deep within my pupils to find the meaning of my rhyme.. to find the spirit that hid with time.. do understand that these scars of art are not just for show.. they are part of the tools i use to flow.. living life each day wanting to grow.. so i implore you not to judge me till you really know; why this lifestyle thrives on being down low.. aside from the stories, these marks attack the status quo.. so there aint no way you can insult me with your stack of dough.. because these marks, these wounded stories is part of what makes me feel the glow.. so the next time you see someone with ink, dont assume you can make them feel your stink.. cause we'll be the same people who'll pull you out of your little sink.. we dont even need you to think.. all we'll do is nod, and wink..

pauldeeeeee
4apr2011

sometimes my mind is left to wonder.  why the universe gives me a taste of something so perfect that it goes asunder.  i have found what can leave my mind to ponder.  collapsing my heart with the strength of a roaring thunder.  my depression seeps in quite slow.  walking away just to deliver that final blow.  finding out that this is all about a certain kind of flow.  and yet all i wanted to see is your glow.  now that youre not around, the spaces you filled feels so hollow.  now all i have for certain is this sorrow.  im someone who doesnt fit within the status quo.   i know that.  all wanted was to see us grow.  to have the feeling that no one else can borrow.  but this is too much to ask.  now i have to put on my mask.  hiding what i feel just to complete the task.  packing my bags and filling up my flask.  i guess i ask too much.  nevertheless, all i wanted was your touch.  a sweet embrace that could remove the hurt in my mind.  do understand though, i dont need you to be kind.  but no matter where i look, it is you i find.  theres something about you that left me feeling like magical spells have me in a bind.  now it seems like you want to leave me behind.  now im left with my daily grind.  hustling these empty streets, praying that people would be unkind.  something that leaves me blind.  blood runs through my skin.  feeling like throwing my soul in the trash bin.  i know i can be the perfect example of sin.  blasting through life just to strengthen my chin.  but since youre away today, it feels like ive lost my next of kin.  i drove around just to take myself for a spin.  im going nowhere but this is where i begin.  this is where i can release my pain within.  sometimes i dont understand how you think.  making my mind explore being on the brink.  i stop my drive and stare into infinity without needing a drink.  while i stare, my eyes do not blink.  wishing that today was the day i got new ink.  but it did not happen.  i now feel my mind shrink.  placing every thought down the sink.  trying not to let you feel my stink.  im only human after all.  and sometimes i cant help but get hurt and think.  i guess what im trying to say is that this is how i feel when i start missing you.  making me realize the feeling i have is strong and true.  now what do i do?  i cant help but feel stuck to you like glue.  i tried to do something new.  something like jumping pointlessly like a kangaroo.  but this didnt help.  i tries singing a song, too.  but what i sing, is still about you.  now it's just me and the microphone, trynna chill here in the twilight zone.  here i am fully grown, fighting to stay strong and not to moan.  so i light my homegrown, to make me not care about being alone.  so i sit here on my own, writing this poem so i dont have to mind my phone.  right now my heart feels like it needs a clone.  something that will make me run around again.  like a dog without a chew bone.  as i take a while to finish this poem, i realized that my soul is not built like a stone.  it would break and crumble like being hit my a cyclone.  this feeling is new to me.  missing someone that wants to be set free.  leaving you alone is now part of my responsibility.  but no matter where you go or what you do, i will still be enduring this ride, with humility.  fighting along side you is now a joy for me.  cause i know that as long as you can smile at me, ill always let you be. only thing is, i still have to learn how to set you free...

pauldeeeeee
6jun2011

these days, i just want to disappear from view. wanting to hide from the world just to be able to follow my heart and stay true. i would see never ending skies of blue while sipping on a mid-summer morning brew. i've walked this earth without having a clue. all i had was the sense to always look for something new. to find the words that can get me away from this worldly zoo. every now and then, i hear someone knocking on my door. as i open it, i realize that who ever it was, is no more. then, i try to look for the piece of me that you tore. so there i stood, ready to settle the score. my mind is now ready to restart so i could explore. i see people sitting up to gloat. but for every sound that would float, from the rustic sound within their throats, is a groan. oh, and they moan, they moan. better were the days when man said, "to each is own." but now, we couldnt care less on what skills to hone. we tear on each others' walls like skinning a chicken to its bones. let i be the last to cast these stones. so i may observe the world till they lose all that they own. soon after, i would see everyone flee. to their kingdom out by the sea. a wind then blew out of a cloud at night, chilling me right near this huge tree. the angels, not half so happy in heaven, went to ravage this world for free. then, the old man spoke of a love stronger by far than the love of those who were older than me; of many far wiser than me. he said that neither the unhappy angels in heaven, nor the demons down under the sea, can sever the love than man can also give for free. for the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of how psychedelic life can be; and the stars never rise but i still see the bright eyes of a love that stands right by the sea. and so, as the waves ride this night-tide, i lay down by the side of countless souls by the sea. finally understanding that no matter the pain, love is the tomb that will set us free.

pauldeeeeee
13july2011