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Paula Swanson Jul 2010
The number you have dialed has been disconnected....
No one is here to take your call.
The reason why, is because you disrespected.
The last time I trusted you, I can't recall.

I don't know why you even phoned.
Unless it was just out of habit.
You must be alone, with no one at home,
for this you can take all the credit.

The number you have dialed has been disconnected...
I would prefer that you never call again.
I've moved on, but I'm not feeling dejected,
It's time for my new life to begin.

You can swear once again you will try changing.
Even promise, that you'll always be true.
But once you hang up, a new date you'll be arranging,
You'll no longer be making my heart blue.

The numbeer you have dialed has been disconnected...
That is what the recording kept playing.
But, I heard clearly to me, directed,
all that my love wasn't saying.
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
Musty, salt smell, of a deserted home,
sitting by the seawall, viewing sand and foam,
assails the nostrils when you open the door.
See dust motes fly, spiders scurry on the floor.
Curtains hang as tattered rags and swaying,
in the breeze, through the cracks, like old flags waving.
As if wearily, signaling for a truce,
between the sea and the decay induced.
Sand comes down from ceiling beams as proof,
as to the storm worn holes, in the roof.
Of shingles blown off, during cold winter blasts,
sand trickles down, as if from an hour glass.
Time and the elements have dulled the shine,
of the woodwork and trim of knotty pine.
Cast iron water pipes, rusted out in places.
The claw foot tub, rest on it's Eagle braces.
Porcelain surface, chipped and cracked,
lath and plaster of the walls needing patched.

The little house sitting by the seawall,
that leans to the left and ready to fall.
Bulldozer sits ready, engine at idle,
to be let loose, push it into a pile.
Along with others like it in a row,
that once held town folks and saw children grow.
A new hotel made of metal and glass,
sterile exterior, no style nor class.
Will take their place, sitting by the sea wall.
Years ago, an oil spill caused the fall,
of this sleepy tourist town full of charm.
No one realized, the long arm of the harm.
They filtered the sand, skimmed off the water,
it was to late, the economy faltered.
Waiting out there, like vultures that scavenge,
was the Corporations, watching it happen.
When the town gasped, gave it's last dying breath,
in they did swoop, living off a towns death.
Paula Swanson Sep 2010
The water tower stands above the town and can be seen for miles around.  It has a
ladder leading up to the base of the tank.  This ladder has been climbed by countless
teenagers, for thrills and mischief and young kids answering a dare.

     Over the years, many symbols and words have been painted on the tank.  From
Highschool mascots, to hearts of love and proposals.  Flowers and Holiday wishes
joined in.

     It had always been one mans job to keep the water tank painted and to cover up
any impromptu artwork.  He always took his time about it though.  Making sure that
each message stayed up at least two weeks before he would paint over it.
     One day he received a phone call.  On the line was a little boy.  This little boy asked
the man to please not paint over his message he had written on the tank, as it was
very important.

     The man explained to the boy that it was his job to keep the tank painted and
clean.  But, that he would leave his message up there, untouched, for two weeks.  The
little boy, with tears in his voice said  "Thank you, I hope it will be long enough".

  The next day, as the man was driving past the water tank, he looked up.  He saw no
message or pictures of any kind on that tank.  He shrugged and assumed that the boy
had just been to scared to make the climb all the way to the top.

     Three weeks later, the mans phone rings again.  It was that same little boy.  Very
excited, he proclaimed  "Mister, I just wanted to thank you for not painting over my
message...It really worked!"

    Intrigued, the man went to the tank with his paint and supplies.  He climbed to the
top, set down his paint and brush.  He walked around that tank several times and still
did not see a message.  But, as he bent to pick up the paint can, there it was.  
Towards the bottom of the tank, in crayon with a young child scroll was written:

       "Dear God, pleeze let my daddy come home frum war I miss him
                                   Your frend Mike"

The years passed.  Many drawings and words were painted over by one man and then
the other, as they took the job over.  But never, the one small patch, with that heart
felt prayer.
Paula Swanson Jun 2010
My tears do fall as rain on glass,
as when storms beat against the pane.
Heart held shrouded, torments of the past.
Life offers nothing which I can gain

Somber pall envelops me now,
my mind wrenched from the door.
Never know just when or how,
I'll find the key upon the floor.

Hidden among thoughts scattered about.
Beneath self worth and loathing.
There the key lies molding, rusting, with doubt,
while those around me, remain unknowing.
Paula Swanson Jul 2010
He wears his halo with a bad boy attitude,
Walking the line between Saint and Sinner.
Oh, what it is his crooked smile does to you.
To your mind, he's a prizewinner.

His wings are tarnished, not meant for flight.
Before he was angel, he was a hellion.
Standing now, on the side of right,
yet, still capable of rebellion.

Holding open doors, he does with style.
He moves with the grace of a Tiger.
In others shoes, he would walk that mile.
He wears leather better than any biker.

His kisses are fire, that always linger.
His come hither eyes melt your knees.
It tickles your fancy when he caresses your fingers,
He always says thank you and please.

His romantic side, he's not afraid to show.
He can be a mechanic, carpenter or plumber.
He enjoys eating dinner in a candles glow,
he's even willing to snuggle when you slumber.

But!

Is he there for you faithfully when it isn't fair weather?
Does he appreciate the time you spent cleaning?
Will he conveniently forget plans you made together,
when a buddy, with a new toy, calls for help wrenching?

Will he let you drive his truck he calls "Baby"?
When sick, will he allow you to smother?
Does he like cats, yes, no or maybe?
Does he even like your Mother?

Will he take out the trash without being reminded?
Does his ***** socks even get near the hamper?
When out with you, to other girls is he blinded?
Does he understand, camping to you, means in a camper?

Does he eat the dinners you cook without ketchup?
Does he throw his wet towels on the floor?
His own kitchen mess, is he willing to clean up?
Is he even willing to help with house chores?

Your internal clock is ticking under the gun.
You have used all of your feminine wiles.
Is he the man you can call "The one"?
Can you get him to walk down the isle?
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
Once a feral kitten, that hubby took pity on
Found in a scrap yard, to hubby, he did bond.

I carry jars of homemade jam, down the basement stairs.
He swipes at my legs, I drop the jars.  He doesn't care.
I'm straitening the bathroom drawer, he gets all frenzied.
Later on that day, I find, all the contents emptied.

I pick fresh flowers, neatly arrange them in a vase,
it only took few seconds.  There's petals on his face.
Our, brand new, leather furniture arrives, to our joy.
He claws the cushion up, looking for his catnip toy.

Christmas tree full of lights, with my antique ornaments.
He attacked!  Maybe he thought he was protecting us?

You might ask why it is we keep such a rascal cat.
Look at that innocent face.  I couldn't refuse that.
When it is, that we think about redecorating,
we just point and say, "This is why we can't have nice things"
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
The meaning of life,
holds no power over me now.
I wait here for death,
slowly losing the will to live.

Holds no power over me now,
the need to outlive my usefulness.
Slowly losing the will to live,
leaving behind an empty shell.

The need to out live my usefulness,
use to be my only intent.
Leaving behind and empty shell,
"Having lived life to the fullest"

Use to be my only intent.
But, I no longer yearn for,
"Having lived my life to the fullest".
It has no meaning to me now.

But I no longer yearn for
my life.  It has been taken away.
It has no meaning to me now.
Thought I understood it so well

My life, it has been taken away.
I wait here for death.
Thought I understood it so well,
the meaning of life.
This is written in the Pantoum form.  ABC refer to repeated lines
Pantoum:  ABCD  BEDF  EGFH  GIHJ and so on until the last stanza.  Then it is   _C_A.  A Pantoum can be any length.
Paula Swanson Feb 2011
I want to let you all know how appreciated you all are.  Your kind comments and encouragment keep my pen flowing.
Poetry for me started as a way to fill free time while recovering from major back surgery 3 years ago.
It quickly turned into the healing balm itself.
I have been diagnosed with severe depression.  Post traumatic stress etc.
Poetry is my outlet for stress and anxiety.  Perhaps that explains my prolific sessions and then my dry spells.
I wish I had the inner fortitude to comment as I would like to all of your amazing poetry.
Perhaps in time, as the healing process continues, I will feel free to open up privately to each of you as I would like.
Each time I write a comment, it is with many second guessing and editing.  Wondering if I am hurting, judging or unententionally causing the author pain.  So know that the comments I give a genuine and heartfelt.  Not just a quick flip of the keys.
As I write this letter to you all, I am fighting the strong need to delete and shut down.  But I must push past the block.  This is a start.
Please know that I do read them all. They have made me feel close to my unseen friends and poetic  family.
Thank you for being here and offering me a glimpse into your hearts and souls.  I have been pleasently rewarded.

Paula Swanson
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
Love, transient as wind,
your fickle heart plays false.
Leaving bitter tears,
that stain trusting souls.

Leaving bitter tears,
filling an angry pool,
that stain trusting souls.
They then, shy from love.

Filling an angry pool,
with venomous hate.
They then shy from love,
missing out on life.

With a venomous hate,
eating away chances,
they then shy from love.
Left out in the cold.

Eating away chances,
leaving bitter tears.
Left out in the cold,
Love transient as wind.
Pantoum
Paula Swanson Jan 2011
A single translucent pearl,
drifts down a wizened cheek,
from eyes where dreams still swirl.
In a body weak with age,
The mind paces it's cage.
As memories still speak,
a single translucent pearl,
drifts down a wizened cheek.

The bloom of youth long gone,
yet remembered is its song.
From eyes where dreams still swirl,
as memories still speak.

A single translucent pearl,
drifts down a wizened cheek.
This is written in a form called a Sonnetina.  The rhyme scheme and refrain lines are very exacting.
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
He made a request for dinner,
the stock, I started to simmer.

As my husband watched his T.V.,
I gathered the herbs I'd need.

A pinch of this and a tad of that.
Then I went in search of the cat.

I called hubby in for his meal,
he sat down and began with zeal.

But, soon he stopped and just stared,
at his soup, which, I didn't share.

he scooped up a piece of the "meat",
then got up and ran from his seat.

Over the retching, he did ask,
"Why did you add the turtles' ***?"

It was then that I saw the light.
I hadn't quite heard him just right.

I explained the big chunks of ****,
I thought he had said Turdle soup.
Paula Swanson Feb 2012
Eyes the color of twilight hours,
looks down from a canvas throne.
Captured for an eternity,
her languid form, in repose.

Queen of all she surveys,
within these crumbling walls.
Moth eaten Brocade, silk spider's web.
Marble stairs and dank halls.

Once the matriarch of a dynasty,
that lived beneath this roof.
She still exerts her own will,
as watches, uncaring, aloof.

She is within the very mortar,
that binds these ancient stones.
Her blood is on the very air,
that chills you to the bone.

The floors and she are now as one.
Listen!  You can hear her footsteps.
There within the mournful wind,
hear her laughter where she once slept.

The ballroom still hosts soiree's.
Muted music of bygone years play.
While in the South Rose parlor,
you can feel her pull take sway.

She will conjole and pout,
until you agree to stay.
Then she'll lead you to the cellar,
where all her guests must pay.

These windows, on a stormy night,
show shadows walking by.
Tattered curtains fall into place,
while evil hides from prying eyes.

But do not feed the impulse,
to enter and investigate.
For within these walls, her spirit dwells
and for fresh blood, she lies in wait.
Paula Swanson Dec 2010
Though the words, you have rarely spoken.
                            You present unexpected tokens.

     With my kiss, your intent percepted.
                            Your apology is accepted.
Paula Swanson Jun 2010
We will stand side by side, shore to shore.
At the ready to protect our Nations flag.
Until we need sacrifice no more.

We have been, at times, shaken to our core.
Yet, in courage, we have never lagged.
We will stand side by side, shore to shore

as long as terrorists knock at our door.
We will scour every crevice and crag,
until we need sacrifice no more.

From every civilian, pride does pour,
for those in uniform and dog tags.
We will stand side by side, shore to shore,

Remembering it was our Fore Fathers that swore,
tyranny from its pedestal we would drag.
Until we need sacrifice no more.

Rattle our cage, hear the Eagle roar.
We will not be anyones punching bag
We will stand side by side, shore to shore,
Untill we need sacrifice no more.
Paula Swanson Jan 2011
~~Words seem so innocuous
when viewed in dictionaries.

Simple nouns, verbs and adjectives
when used convolutionary.

Wounds a soul with barbs intended
in comments diversionary.~
~





**meaning:
Words can be so tame when
seen individually.
Yet string those words together
twisted their intended meanings.  
Hidden agendas.
They can wound another when
those words are placed with in
a comment meant to steer others away
from the barb meant for one.
Paula Swanson Jul 2010
What we do, reveals us.
          
         What we say, explains thus
Paula Swanson Aug 2010
We would be stagnant down to our core!
Where would the challenge be in life's game,
if we had all been cut out the same?
Our lives would be just one big bore.
No personalities to explore.
We'd just be another What's-her-name.
No imaginations to inflame,
no reason to open our minds door.

So sing out, Viva La Difference!
Go embrace, all of those silly quirks.
Of unorthodox, show tolerance,
within "The box", you weren't made to lurk.
To be unique is a preference,
it's what makes all humanity work.
Form:  Italian Sonnet. ( Letters denote rhyming lines.)  abbaabba cdcdcd (or, cdecde)
Paula Swanson Jun 2010
Perfection is but a day dream away,
I usually go there at least once a day.

When stress in my life gets to be too great,
I sit back, close my eyes, breathe deep and wait.

Slowly the scene behind my eyes does gel,
a scenario I know all too well.

Once again I am thirty-nine, pain free,
there never occurred this back injury.

Here in my arms I hold my first grandchild,
without pain in my legs and back screaming wild.

Then when she is two and yells "Gamma, run",
off I go, joining in, I'm having fun.

All my grandchildren can run up to me,
hugging me deeply, wrapped round my knees.

Piggybacks, peek-a-boo, tag and jump rope,
all these things I can do in my day dreams of hope.

My sons come up and give me big bear hugs,
I am able to reciprocate that love.

At our sons wedding, with my husband I dance,
without giving that cane a thought or a glance.

No scars across my front, nor down my back,
titanium bars and screws, I lack.

I can swim, twist, jog, laugh with life and bend.
I wish my perfect world, when I open my eyes, wouldn't end.
Paula Swanson Jul 2010
Hold my hand.
Stand by my side.
Neither needs to lead nor follow.
We are joined as one,
in our journey to tomorrow.

Hold my heart,
safe in your hands.
Completely I place my trust in you.
We are joined as one.
Hear each beat call out a love that's true.

Hold my dreams,
blended with yours.
Lets reach for the stars together.
We are joined as one.
Our lives entwined now and forever
Paula Swanson Jul 2012
As a flag, left to the ravages of wind and sun,
so too my soul, stands tattered and ravaged.
My visage now a faded memory
of once courageous colors.
My voice no longer crisp, nor upbeat.
But weak and undefined.
No longer do I instill nor evoke,
a sense of power or purpose.

I am easily dismissed as useless, unnecessary.

Yes, once I was the strong flag,
that laughed in the wind with a quick
snap and whip crack determination.

That was years and many storms ago.
Now, I give into the wind,
with a defeated wave
and the sound of a sigh.
Paula Swanson Oct 2010
No need to fear
It's just invisible me
just came up for a visit

It's Halloween night
My favorite night of the year
I have so much fun

That rustle in the leaves?
The foot steps that follow you?
That moan in the wind?

The door that slams shut?
Why, that's just little old me
doing what I love

I love Halloween
My only night of the year
that I get to play

The rest of the year
I stay down "There".  Who makes
those noises then??  Hmm?

Bwaaaaahahahaha
Paula Swanson Oct 2011
This, I do so, willingly.
Without reservations of the heart.
I offer my shoulder to thy wheel,
my strength, to thus impart.

My voice, I lend to your cause.
Champion, to which you undertake.
My arms, I spread to encompass,
kith and kin, you now care take.

A heart, that beats strong and true.
That has known joy and felt deep weeping.
One, so full of love for you,
I give, unto your keeping.

If there were the need so great,
as to sacrifice completely.
My life, I 'd give, for yours to spare.
This I do, so willingly.
Paula Swanson Sep 2010
As the windmill turns with the wind,
the storm brings much needed rain.
With each drop, renewal begins,
relieving the parched land its pain.

Sweet water of the Earth, life's essence,
within the wind, the windmill drinks.
Storing the source within a pond,
bringing the desert from the brink.

Noses catching the scent of rain,
wild Burro's enjoy their play.
Turns the windmill as the wind blows,
clouds block the sun, blessing shade.

The land breathes a sigh of relief.
Life is given back once again.
The clouds empty themselves of rain,
as the windmill turns with the wind.

— The End —