Acrid tears have dried upon my soul.
Their tracks painfully erode
the partition I hold before myself
and the world I need escape.

Thin as rice paper, are my emotions.
A false step rips the calm I hold.
Displacing my hopes of normalcy,
one step closer to losing my precarious balance.

Which, in and of itself, is a lie.
As I slip from one side to the other.
The Pendulum never stops its movement,
never giving rest to my anger and fear.

I am no more who I was,
when I was a person, whole.
Pain has shaped and molded my life,
while usefulness died under its weight.

Forgiveness, I am not ready to pour,
as I drink from the well of bitter remorse.
Had not the Corporate Viper bitten,
I might not be filled with the fear of snakes.

Lies told.  Lies held.  Lies that burn
behind my eyes, scald my outlook on life.
Leaving a scar that I always see,
when I look at myself and what has been stolen

I want to let you all know how appreciated you all are.  Your kind comments and encouragment keep my pen flowing.
Poetry for me started as a way to fill free time while recovering from major back surgery 3 years ago.
It quickly turned into the healing balm itself.
I have been diagnosed with severe depression.  Post traumatic stress etc.
Poetry is my outlet for stress and anxiety.  Perhaps that explains my prolific sessions and then my dry spells.
I wish I had the inner fortitude to comment as I would like to all of your amazing poetry.
Perhaps in time, as the healing process continues, I will feel free to open up privately to each of you as I would like.
Each time I write a comment, it is with many second guessing and editing.  Wondering if I am hurting, judging or unententionally causing the author pain.  So know that the comments I give a genuine and heartfelt.  Not just a quick flip of the keys.
As I write this letter to you all, I am fighting the strong need to delete and shut down.  But I must push past the block.  This is a start.
Please know that I do read them all. They have made me feel close to my unseen friends and poetic  family.
Thank you for being here and offering me a glimpse into your hearts and souls.  I have been pleasently rewarded.

Paula Swanson

Two halves of a whole
                  blend in perfect harmony
                                          Concert of the heart
                           ~~
                                
The touch of your soul
                   fate plucked at my heart strings
                                                 Life's music of love

Always saw my eye rolls, even when her back was turned.
Somehow she knew when I was in trouble,
no matter how well I thought I hid it.
Perceiving my fears and anxieties
and the teenage uncertainties of life.
Told me when my young heart was overflowing with love
and in later years, the secrets I never revealed.
She knew when to give me space or a needed hug.
She knew that I would find my own way in life,
so she passed her powers on to me.
Now that I have been a Mother myself,
I understand now, just how it is, a Mother always knows

Bound by soft red velvet bonds
                              souls across eternity
                                     for so brief a moments time
                                                        connect here on Earth