I dreamt last night
I often dream,
A wyrd ship was bound from
Holyhead, Wales
To Spitzbergen, Norway
Or some Such...........
Melting Arctic place
We moved around
Inside, nightclubs,
Alcohol, drugs a sense of not
Belonging there.

Then I awake
Slowly at first, that
Feeling, eyes
Opening, consciousness
registering surrounding
Yes, this is remembered
reality.  Lazing on a
Chilly afternoon.
Zyprexa dreams make
You shiver
Effexor lullabies
Cause cold stomach
Fears in mornings;
Or afternoons, if one
is not to lie........
Don't lie, why bother
The truth is so much......
simpler

My mind recalls lines
From songs
The Pixies/Black Francis
"Where is my mind?"
Where indeed, Mr. Black
The Beatles
"She loves you"
She does love me
They are right,
Thank my God.....

I shiver and run for
The kitchen, coffee
And rivotril
Makes ease, sooths me
Even cigarettes are electronic now
Thank you...it's better
Mr. 21st Century, you're
Quite the inventor
An unopened iPad, Apple Air
Steve Jobs 16 Gb
He died, you know
But that's the Beatles Apple
Isn't it?
You naughty boy Steve,
Lennon and Harrison
Must be scolding you
In the V.I.P. afterlife where -
Famous people go

She rings me,
I cannot walk, not yet
My mind is still too full of
Fears, and sharp edges
But later perhaps
I will.  It's good to walk
It lets your feet talk
To the ground
And the ground
around here that is,
is As good a place as any
To ground oneself
Is it not?

There is a time in man's life
When words will not come
When seas will not fill
When abstinence will not entertain
The sight of heart's desire

At a moment,
he will know ******
Was always in his heart
Should her be harmed
He will find all words
Have been taken from him

She, knowing, unknowing shall smile
And pass a brief hour or day
Not knowing, that time now
The tide has turned
Toward her, deep fault lines open
And the moon's course altered
By one degree
of love's meridian line
Closer............

Woman hear this,
and beware........
As a man is in love with you,
and love in all
As a thing in itself,
Does not love you, or he,
For that matter,
But only propagates itself
For it's own designs
Cold and lofty
To frail human hearts
Oft to your advantage
But often not........

So know, you cannot.......
Stop, what has been written
By love's desire
Once these moments come
And small white stones
And Atlantic hillsides
Will remember
in an Irish muteness
That the greatest of waves
oft occur.................
When no human stands
To see them crash, like cradle milk
Into the dark, black rock.

And Love is more powerful
as this
And more,
than the star is
to a penny candle
So let your words go
Let only time, as old
and deep, decide

For you are powerless,
as the gull
And grass in tufts
Pulled and pushed
By force no man or woman
Could ever control
That all is
as it should be
Whatever is to be.

She purrs, the love cat
Her space on her favorite cushion
She makes space for herself,
On a couch I don't own, but may as well now
That's because everything I own
Really belongs
To her, actually I guess
And maybe we both know that
Naturally......................

I'd give it freely anyway,
But that's not fun
For a cat,
so she take titbits
Just for fun,
Cats like fun
Sometimes, and
other times they are
Serious in intent.
She leaves reminders
Of when she's been, here
In my territory
to keep other cats
In their place, which is important
If she is not here
the Love Cat is a very clever feline
So she likes to poke and hide

Yes, she is a curious one, but then
Isn't that what makes us  
clever tomcats fall
From sash windows of lofty
seemed safety.....
into the streets of love,
where all the Toms
and love cats are
seeking mates
and vicious fights
with nothing to lose;
side tooth and rear claw
Break out often

Yes, but aye, we are mated
if you must know,
that love cat and I
By natures' old laws
Her in woolen scarves and odd socks
Me in baggy pants
and flannel grey T-shirts
Don't tell me how,
but we know.

Sometimes we play in the linen
Like all our feline companions
Other-times we just lie and stare
Into curious sets of eyes,
A staring competition
Between loving predators,
In love with each other
Bright and fiercely
But perhaps
not in love
with the world itself


Paul 2014

She, herself, will be,
soon be here - come.
Coming here.  Here.
Into this refuge of ours.
This cave
This palace
Her hips, make me
nervous for they move
So very well
In my arms, her twinkle
In my eyes
Her love, I love
In my hands

I think of her more
I am finding,  
as each day passes,
And they say
you're supposed to.......
Get used to this?
I don't want to
Why would anyone
want to get used to this?
It is intoxication of
The soul, a madness
Made before we
Invented our own
lesser versions.

It's too important
to ever become
Some smallish event
Her arrival, to me
In our refuge
Our cave
Our palace
It's like the first rain
for many days
as it touches
A dried out
forest floor

Little creatures scurry,
in case it's only dew,
and soon will be done
and gone;
But I don't need
to do that.
She is no line of dew
In the bower
of shaded hazel
But a torrent
from the old heavens
Drowning me,
in content.

As the night grows older;
and evening crosses the water
I find myself talking
To a New York Jew,
A old friend of mine

We talk about Marx
A utopian, but no fool
I tell him he must go to bed,
It's late in New York
Even later here..........
We talk some more of money
And the morality of it's use

As I await my lawyer,
To give me some bad news

I think of God now, no Atheist I
But then I think of time
As the eyes mist
And the thoughts die
And I should be so helpless
Who once was full of pride

I am alone
A radio plays a slavonic composer
In forgetfulness
In my darkened kitchen
I wish I could bury my face
For tonight, I am alone

A silver plastic bracelet round my neck
It reminds me clear
That there is a true life, and a woman
All is worth fighting for
If I am allowed
If I am allowed

Her love is like a bright blue star
In a dying nebula
But gas, dust and ice
From another age
Compete to reflect her light
Away from my heart
And pull me into the long darkness

But as long as that light shines
I shall never really be alone
Though the pain of my silence and night terror
Come to claim my sanity
Her light, it shines, like an oasis of mercy
In a wide wide place of unforgiving
And something stronger than steel wire
Guides me toward her

We were flirting with hopes
of a minor disaster
When we entered
the ring
But servants of the public
are like that,
leaving responsibility
To the powers
greater than themselves.

Fate was not long in catching up
anyway,
But first we had
to walk that ring
Through edges
wide and narrow
Dangerous space
and mossy walls
And when
I lifted you down
From the banked
dry stones
By your waist
The thrill
of your beauty
Almost
Snapped my wrists

But you don't believe
in such things
as the power of
old drystone rings
You're a romantic
of a different kind
With power and words
within your mind
But I'm an actor,
and like to play
At being a druid,
if for a day
And the magic of
watching you;
Climb your way
over thousands of years,
That stays with me.
*Even still