Cannot stop thinking
About you
Will not until you are mine
Until I am
The air that you breathe
I cannot eat
I cannot concentrate
You fill myevery waking hour
My thoughts always drift
Back to you
It is not love
It is obsession
A bad obsession
Messing with my mind
Stopping mw from living
No help from anyone
Beyond help
Beyond salvation
Please help me
Do not want to
Live like this
Mind is not right
I need you
Like a drug
Obsession
Word goes through
My mind
Do not care
Past caring
Nothing matters
Except you

Left on my own
Wanted by no-one
Left to my devices
Free to roam
People trap you in
Like a prison cell
Must please them
Be all surface
No feeling
Rather be all feeling
No surface
Must be free
Escape thsi prison cell
Loneliness is the key
Be alone
Then you are free
I am free
But ouside
An outsider
Excluded from humanity
Now truly alone
Did not want this
It all went wrong
Nothing else left
Must fade from view
Fade from others memories
Die  in exclusion
Die hidden from view
As no body loved me
Truly alone
That is the prison cell
There is no escape

Despair in a pit
Looking over
Peering into it
Hope disappears
Heart plummets
It is real
Not surreal
Flailing
Down in a lift
Down the shaft
Darkness closes around
Light shut out
Hope found
Now dead
Where am I?
Who cares?
Shut off in despair
Down I go
Forever descending
Cannot face life
Something shines
Down in the deep
Down in the dark
Was it a trick ?
Salvation?
Found the shiny object
It is alvation
Knife in hand
Knife in heart
End of despair

Heard that
"A man will rise
A man will fall"
Phrase keeps
Buzzing round my head
It's meaning
Eludes me
It dances just
Out of my grasp
It drives me mad
What does it mean?
Who said it?
Where does it
Come from?
So many questions
With no answers
In sight
So
Should I leave it
Have its meaning
Unexplained
Or try to
Perceive the meaning?

Society says
What you see
Is what you get
But
Is the person you see
The actual person?
They wear so
Many masks
Disguise themselves
Personality alterations
To please the crowd
Change again
For a different crowd
Perfect girl
Maybe a cold-heared
*****?
Or a superficial *****?
It is not
Who are you?
But
Who do you have
To be to
Please a crowd?
The question
Begs an answer
Have we
Stopped being human?
Have we become
Slaves of
Socialogical pressure?
Be accepted
Or be on the outside
Destroy the
Essence of yourself
In order to fit in

Caught my reflection
In the mirror
This morning
Seen something
That was not there
A calmness and
Serenity
That I do not possess
How can that be?
It is impossible
My life is hectic
But in the mirror
It is mirrored
Just as left is rifgr
Frantic become calm
Question comes to me
Do people see me as me
Or the man in
The mirror?
I must know
As he is not me
He may look like me
But he is opposite
So what
You say looking
At my bad points
Forgetting the good
I fade out
The ultimate sign off
He steps in
Takes control
Stop him please
Please
I cannot
As I am trapped
Behind glass
In the mirror

Five minutes
What is it?
Three hundred seconds
Or two hundred and fifty
Heartbeats?
Or is ot something that
Transcends normal
Time?
In five minutes
My whole life story
Could be told
Infinite number of memories
Confined to a
Finite measure of time
So how long is
Five minutes?
So small
It cannot be measured
So large
It defies measurement
So what is it?
A fragmentof time
That you keep in
Your heart

Candle**

Light a candle
Ignited by my heart
Flame hugs the wick
It flickers
Staring at the flame
Become hypotised
Start to fall
Down I go
I am drowning
Swim to the top
Resurfaced
Glance at the candle
Wax is melted
Candle is almost
Depleted
Flame is fading
Slowly fading
It does not die
It burns on
Forever lit
I grab the flame
And place it in
My heart
There it will burn
Forever

Alone in my bed
Thinking of you
Waiting for sleep to come
Eyes heavy
No respite
Waves of sleep
Wash over me
But I always end up
On the  shore
In the island of dreams
Possibilites are infinite
On the shore
Looking towards the island
I want to be there
In dreams where
I can meet you
The sea of sleep stops me
It mocks me
All I want is to swim in it
Let the waves cover me
Carry me
Somewhere else
Where I am someone else
Unknown but loved
Like a young screen idol
Alone on the shore
Watching the island
Alone

Look out of  my window
To see normal life
Mediocre and boring
Same thing day to day
But as the light
Begins to fade
A difference occurs
So subtle
It is hardly noticeable
Darkness descends
As life disappears
Streets deserted
Streetlights then
Illuminate a
Hidden beauty
Hues of orange
Shine on stone
Of the road
Reflection of
The light
Amplify the
Barren isolation
Of the street
The emptiness
It is the beauty
Even if it is
Man-made
It seems unspoilt
By man
The sun rises
To ruin the illusion

She'll never know
How I feel about her
How can I tell her
How I feel?
My heart yearns
To tell her
To cry out
But it is held back
Something stops it
From crying out
As I know
I cannot tell her
I want to
But I cannot
Internal conflict
That can never
Be resolved
What can I do?
Do nothing
And I lose
Again

The blue of the sky
Is slowly turning red
Night is coming
Fast appraoching
To consume me
Walking around
Without you
It is getting colder
No-one notices
I think about
Nothing
Thoughts going
Round in circles
Cannot concentrate
Stop and sit
Watch the night go by
Someone told me
"You miss too much these days
If you stop and think"
Nice idea
But I cannot
Change who I am
Analyse something
To death and bveyond
Carpe diem
Holds no meaning
Who am I?

There are three phases
Of time
There is fast time
Experienced when we
Were young
Summertime were
Too short
That is what
Time feels like
When we are together
There is long time
Experinced in the now
Last ten minutes
Of last work day
Stretch out to eternity
This is what
Time feels like
For me
When we are apart
When I am alone
There is normal time
Experienced before
I met you
Never experienced since
Because of you
But I do not mind
Because
I love you

Over the hills
Down through the valleys
Searching for the one
Who I know is
Somewhere
I search for her
But where I am
She is not
Through the plain
I see a lake
Its deep blueness
It reminds me of
Her eyes
For when I looked
Deep into them
I drowned
As I hunt for her
Day turns into night
As the sun
Starts to set
The sky has
An orange hue
The colour of her hair
Darkness descends
No chance
Of seeing her now
Return home
Alone
Perhaps tomorrow?

When we were together
I was happy
I gave you my heart
You took it
Then you left me
Now there is
Emptiness inside of me
Caused by you
Leaving me
A gap
I am incomplete
Look at what
You have done
You have made this man
A wreck
There is pain
Pain like I have
Never felt before
In this gap
Which used to house
My heart
What use is a heart?
If it breaks so easily
And so readily?
They say it is
"Better to have love and lost
Than never to have loved at all"
But they never
Mentioned the pain
You were crying
When you said
It was over
You might be crying now
Like I am
But your tears will dry
When you find someone else
But how can I
Dry my eyes?
How can I find
Someone who will fill my life
As you once did?
Find someone who
Will fill the void
That exists in my heart