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Sep 2010 · 1.1k
Disconnect
Paul Jackson Sep 2010
We traded honesty for everything
A promise that we made
The pain we feel, this disconnect
Nothing but a shade.

Inside our hearts
Held in our hands
Our dreams reside
Our lives to plan.

The love we share
This pain we’ve shed
Is but a simple truth
No longer left unsaid.

Despite the fear
Despite the sorrow
The Love, the laughter
Will come tomorrow.

Of all the jealous stars
In every single sky
None are brighter, none are more forever
Than the stars of You and I.
Aug 2010 · 985
marriage with a guardrail.
Paul Jackson Aug 2010
my life so fragmented
like these passing
highway lines
foot to floor
the coalescing neon
of this dark city -
a beautiful place
for a ceremony.

my best man
beneath the hood -
my most trusted, honored friend
assures me
that this ceremony
will be memorable,
it will be
the best thing i've
ever done.

i look down the aisle
and i can see her...
my beautiful bride
shimmering silver
along side the
pavement parson
waiting for our vows
dearly beloved
we are gathered here today
among the congregation
of shattered glass -
til death do us part
i do.
Aug 2010 · 986
Byron's Whispers
Paul Jackson Aug 2010
when we three were parted
and tears had been shed
i, cast into shadow,
a husk in my stead

the language you speak
the syntax of lies
a shrouded deceit
cloaking your spies

no vengence i seek
no pain i demand
insted of your blood
just taller I'll stand

in secret you met
in defiance I wait
my love shall be forfeit
and my hate shall never
abate.
Inspired by one of my favorite Byron poems.
Aug 2010 · 939
two shovels
Paul Jackson Aug 2010
the first shovel-full wasn't that bad i thought
the swirling stars above me
tiny silent witnessess
watching me as i lay
just beneath the surface of the earth
the second shovel-full landed on my chest
a slight choking plume of dust
contained in this shallow hole
fills my lungs and steals my breath
the third shovel-full felt so heavy
my struggling sluggish heart
fights to beat in my dirt covered chest
i can taste the soil now -
unmistakably betrayal
lines my lips and coats my tongue
all thanks to that fourth shovel-full
these two determined shovels
erasing the sky from view
one after the other
pile after pile
no longer do i see the stars
no longer can i breathe
no longer do i feel the pain
i am no longer
Aug 2010 · 729
Undertow
Paul Jackson Aug 2010
i am drowning in your undertow
my stone heavy heart sinks me
into your depths
drowning me in you

now i know how it feels to drown
struggling makes it worse
now i know how it feels to drown
struggling makes it worse

i can see the shipwrecks
the rotting of the lost
pulling, dragging currents
drowning me in you

now i know how it feels to drown
struggling makes it worse
now i know how it feels to drown
struggling makes it worse

your underwater city fallen
my bones live there
May 2010 · 581
in my end.
Paul Jackson May 2010
i can't see a thing
suffocated by the darkness
i taste the oil of your gun
you thrive on my fear
i always gave you what you wanted
my eyes tell you to shoot
but you'll never give me what i want.

incapable of anything
undeniably defeated
sweet sorrow comforts my weary head
it is all i know
i deserve this
it is my destiny
my design.

you hold 15 messengers of mercy
but deny me all
never again shall i see your beautiful eyes
sewn shut by lies

when will it end
my broken knees forced to kneel
i hear the hammer
this is the best thing you have ever done for me
finally i will get what i want
i have never felt so alive
in my end.
May 2010 · 650
Salvation
Paul Jackson May 2010
The light has come for me
My lungs fill with Your breath
I dream in colour again
How can this be?
My Turkish prison crumbles

I do not recognize the sun
But it remembers me
I follow Your voice
the binding chains turn to dust
The light has finally come

You take my hand so hard
Your smile dries my tears
My sadness breaks like water on Your rocks
You wash it all away
I am bathed in light

I see Your face
Just as I dreamt it would be
I smell salvation on Your skin
I taste hope on Your lips
I am home, and free at last
May 2010 · 810
Wreckage
Paul Jackson May 2010
impaled by your words
with gasoline in my veins
i wait to die in the wreckage of this life
drop the match...
just burn me down
and walk away

time slows down
past tense never looked so beautiful
how could it have ever come to this?

everything i am is what we were
let the fires of your lies take me
i dare you to watch me burn
walk away
forget my name
remember my ashes
walk away
May 2010 · 649
Purgatory
Paul Jackson May 2010
give me the light
my folded arms across my chest
hold me down
these crippled wings can't fly
i got more than i bargained for

take it all
the burning is more than i can take
clutched in aching hands
i dream of long dead heroes
i have let them down

shrouded in sorrow
i reach out to the shadows
i can feel my dreams are dying
my own purgatory
the faithless live here

all i have is this shroud of defeat
bitter and forever
how i long for new wings
and new intentions
please give me the light
May 2010 · 868
Wraith
Paul Jackson May 2010
today destroyed my yesterday,
moment by moment,
forced to kiss the knife that cuts
I forever bleed regret.

the promised touch that never comes
the strangled heart struggles
the kiss never forgets,
as the knife never forgives.

a silent scream falls from my tired lips
as if underwater, breathless
enduring shapelessness
bowing to agony, defeat.

with all the wasted thoughts,
ripped from useless dreams
all that's left, all that's whole
bereft of hope, loss is all.
May 2010 · 1.1k
Martyr
Paul Jackson May 2010
crucified by promises
the empty clip tells a different story
tears will never cleanse these wounds
frozen thoughts and clenched teeth
around and around we go

time stops when i call your name
there is no echo
against my cheek i feel your breath
i want it to carry me away
take me off my cross

it gets harder and harder
it won't be much longer
the ****** tells me so
this cross is made of hope
with nails made of promises
Apr 2010 · 744
Untitled
Paul Jackson Apr 2010
I've got Your song inside My head and
Your voice a symphony
it sings of
of You and I
bright sun-splashed Sunday mornings
entangled
deep beneath the covers
the laughter of Our touching skin
fluent in the language of love

there is poetry in Your smile
each verse a kiss
a brazen dance
gently circling
on the front porch in verdant spring
the screen door's creaking frame
the only sound
amid Our whispers
and Our tender shuffling steps

You are My gift
My dream awake
Apr 2010 · 1.5k
I Walk in Ashes
Paul Jackson Apr 2010
how long must I walk in the ashes of my yesterday?
charred carbon butterflies dancing past my tired eyes
floating on what could be the last breaths of this tired world
nothing but a fleeting sigh, nothing but a fading whisper.
Ashes.

the endless long lost steps
the creaking weary bones
one foot in front of the other
I walk in Ashes.

I look to the jagged teeth where earth meets the sky
gnashing, grinding, grinning
a sickly cheshire smile far and wide
a newness, a nascence felt inside
the illusion is slowly fading
but yet I still walk in Ashes.

like sepulchral confetti
the blackened ash quietly collects
whispering and licking at my ears
a tragic choir in unison they sing
'one and one have become zero'
in silence I grieve beneath a jet black sky
on my broken knees
never ending Ashes.

will this ever end?
rust covered, abandoned
thoughts like swinging hammers
comforted only by Ashes
that sing me into nightmares
of dying stars and black suns
and nights that have killed the only Dawn I've ever known
will the Ashes ever end?

in all the desolation, in all the dereliction
there is calm, a soothing shudder scrapes my skin
a rising urgency deeply rooted beneath the I
sweetly swaddled
gently graced
blanketed by Ashes.

the roof of the world
sunken, failing - utter frailty
I am no telamon, I have no strength
unable to bear the weight
the weight of all the Ashes.

in this comforting collapse
at the bottom of my oubliette
wings of splintered light emerge
they glow like the light of dying cinders
they glow like your iridescent halo
they glow like the last light I will ever see.

— The End —