I’ll meet you
in the elipse
between
and joining
our separate lives

In the shaded area
the convenient space
mostly unoccupied
that is both of us
yet neither

At the intersection
of our spheres
where we can share
our unique combination
in the world

Ageing gently
watering eyes
back dated tears
long dammed
seeping
through
the failing
seal
of tight lipped
kisses
and
learned
enforced
stoicism
such relief
at last
to cry

The last time I saw Fred.....


On his last leg’s
zimmer- framed
& proudly vertical

The fist
of cankered gristle
removed
at a cost
but he
noble soldier
farmer
grand-father
man
was insistent
He would walk
with me
to the toilet

And he did
with dignity
a joke
& splendid bravery

they said
take life
take first breath
take a big step
take a chance
don't take life
give it away

When I was a cat
I slept too often
Walked away
And never really thanked you

When I was an orchid
I bloomed and faded
Promised much
And revelled in my rarity

When I was a wave
I broke hearts on the shore
Moved sand
And probably disappointed

When I was an apple
I ripened and then fell
Rotted slowly
And was never shared

When I was a candle
I burned bright and short
Lost form
And ended on your finger tip

And when I was a young man
I slept too often
Promised much
Probably disappointed
Was never shared
And ended on your finger tip

Spindly &
light weight
in all but impact;
complex and vaguely French
visually

Lucidly liquid
wondrous explanations
of the prosaically usual
evoking
something essential

Revolving the silver ring
around her so
delicate finger
with her thumb
even that was enough

Summer print simple
red red lips
& unceasing eyes
the scent of taste
& the precision of an artist

He couldn’t imagine
how to love her
& so he very much liked
at the appropriate distance  
without regret

Uniformed in creative black
Marlboro scented
Wonderstruck
Deliberately
Deliberate
Random
Pixie haired
Angel eyed
& brave

Daring herself to be
Enchantingly urbane
Zeitgeisty
Considerably
Considered
Aware
Pale skinned
Quaintly styled
& risky

A portfolio perfectionist
Absorbing influences
Ferociously
Delicate
Delicately
Persuasive
Scarlet lipped
Crystal tipped
& scared

Mechanical love made
Breakfast consumed
In silence
Commute never commuted
To something tolerable
Suit creased
Like experienced skin
Tremor grasped
Into fist
And denied
Tired tired eyes
Hole in right shoe
MOT due
And years to go

Don't paint
your house
yellow
unless
of course
you intend
to expire
there
ensuring
at a stroke
ease in finding
for the noble
ambulance crew
and impossible
to sell
for those
who never
visited
you

Because when dark clouds
Come low
You shine through
Gifting light
and your honest warmth

Because when shadows
Cast over
You offer simple
Generous
and welcome salvation

The largest human eyes
I ever saw;
I wanted it to count
for something,
ditto the five fine long bones
of the foot
I was born loving you
I just needed your face to arrive
to make it so

It’s hardly surprising
That dust gathers
When movement
Is gone
That air
Becomes stale
When not moved
By word or action

You used to
Breathe the air
I’d just exhaled
Bite it from the sky
And gulp it down

Your finger-tips
Moved over
Every surface
With gentle
Caress

All the things
We gathered
& polished
& cherished
Have returned
To inanimate
Anonymity

Your key
On the shelf
No longer
Opens our world
Or commences
A journey
Cold and removed
From the key-ring
Slipped
Easily
To independence
Like your wedding band

I know the suntan
Of our sunshine
Still leaves
Traces on your
Absent hand
And the years
Of living
& leaving
& returning
Have smoothed
Your key
Have smoothed
me

I cushioned your first ecstasy,
blanketed your school-day sickness,
hosted your important conversations
and absorbed your mistakes.

I was your young boy bunker,
your teenager cave,
your safe haven from the elements
and your fantasy land.

I warmed your Christmas dreams
your sorrow filled hours,
your desert island
and your solitary confinement.

You dreamt fantastic colours
in my comforting embrace,
you fled from shadows
and awoke in sunlight.

I become the particular shape of you
moulded by your years of resting,
you made me into what I am
the same gift I've shared with you.

You misunderstood the remit
The toolkit for brilliant
You will never be
perfectly blond, brown or red

We are not cartoons
or icons
Ignore the urging
air brush big brand market

Unique is what you are
Celebrate your difference
Paint yourself your own colour

Collecting all of
the compliments,
the glances,
the well meaning
platitudes;
the want

Taking the pink
sticky pieces
of perceived value
pressing them,
thumb printed
and flattened
into your warm damp ball
of vanity
of gathered precious
feeling

Daily,
touching
pinching the surface
For a response
a reality check
& smoothing
smoothing it
like a being
an existing thing
a presence

Your need for value
outweighs
my words

I adore you
being alive
every moment
significant
& celebrated
  
Washing chocolate
from your happy
teeth
with clean
cold wine
and joyous laughter
& later

I envy
your still
unhaunted sleep
& guiltless
dreams

As the munificent
folded
beer mat
beneath
my table leg
you stabilise
my flaws

you settle me

You’ve changed
imperceptibly yet obviously
since the last time

You’ve changed
something has shadowed
your sunshine
Clouded things

You’ve changed
you dress impeccably still
and wear your heart on your sleeve
embroidered with care
into the fabric of you

You’ve changed
I see age creeping into the corners of your eyes
edging into the mirrors
framing the light
claiming you

You’ve changed
the things we shared
are now past
distant
and our language
of intimacy
forgotten
shifted
to polite familiarity
lacking finesse

I’ve changed
Moving quietly away
from the totem
that was you
re-evaluated what it was
reviewed assumptions
in detail
in colour
and learned
evolved

We’ve changed
lost our polarity
the semblance of kindred-ness
that we celebrated
valued and cosseted
we have let go
moved
realised
and grown