I hammered my self-loathing,
Gouged out its laughing eyes,
Ripped open its smirking mouth,
Then strangled it, stomped it,
Buried it, forgot it; moved on.

The poetry, though, hmm,
It helped me fight, win,
A soundboard of pain,
Reliable and true, so true,
Always remains, waiting patiently.

Keeping my attitude healthy,
Is it needed? Yes, it is,
Riding undulating emotion,
Self-loathing rises, unbidden,
Caressing fondly: a soft kiss.

I body-slam self-loathing,
Hurl it back to the pit,
Peer out of the abyss,
****** at any light, any hope,
Grasping words, fighting.

Love is always needed,
A powerful weapon, hmm,
Without it, well, zombies come,
Tearing within, mocking,
Urging the thin-red-line.

I will not yield, I scream,
I write, even weep, and more,
Knowing love will come, soon,
And will help me claim,
I hammered my self-loathing.

© Paul Chafer 2014

I just don’t understand,
How can a man live among us?
At work, play, passing the time of day.
Normal.
Normal.
Normal – tinker.
– ****** a child, abuse, ****** –
Normal.
Normal.
Normal – tailor.
So, there are monsters: truly!
Vile depraved horrors masquerading as people.
At work, play, passing the time of day.
Normal.
Normal.
Normal – soldier.
– *****, evil, scumbag –
Twisted.
Twisted.
Twisted – killer.
Take care, always be aware.
An unassuming face, in or out of place.
I just don’t understand, cannot understand.
Tinker.
Tailor.
Soldier – Murderer!

© Paul Chafer 2014

So, please do remember me,
The man who I used to be,
Then heed, if you can heed,
The stranger I have become,
Stepping through open doors,
Finding I must fight everyday,
My mettle twisted a thousand-fold,
From smashing ancient barriers,
Questing a seemingly impossible truth,
Discovering such knowledge,
Conquering all gods, slaying lies,
Exposing ideals that will never be,
Superstition broken, setting me free.

Examine beliefs, looking deep,
Never accept comforting blind faith,
Wrestle with the thorny id,
Finding life’s hidden meaning,
Different for each individual,
The simple truth, enlightened paths,
Illuminating the feared abyss,
Ravaged by ghosts of madness,
Inquire within, trusting yourself,
Revealing improbable answers,
Choosing purpose, as I chose,
Content beyond the echoes of,
The man who I used to be,
So, please, do remember me.

© Paul Chafer 2014

Oh, they don’t know they’re born today,
What do they know of surviving a war?
Suffering blackouts, hardship of rationing,
With never a thought of ‘asking for more’.

They act so tough, never knowing real fear,
Never experiencing terror and dread,
They’d be dancing to a different tune,
If the Luftwaffe still flew overhead.

I tell you, kids of today; know now’t,
Claiming life’s hard: they’re having a laugh,
Let em’ clean grime off a twelve hour shift,
With carbolic soap in an old tin bath?

Talk of going without, they get too much!
We only had skipping ropes, whistles, bells,
Maybe an orange and apple at Christmas,
Along with monkey nuts still in their shells.

If we were lucky, we got a shiny penny,
Truth be told, there was never any shame,
Today they expect brand new bikes,
Plus the latest craze of a video game.

A sign of the times, life always changes,
Rose-tinted memories; forever make hay,
I’ve said it before; I know I’ll say it again,
Oh, they don’t know they’re born today.

© Paul Chafer 2014

I met her in a sun-splashed glade,
So beautiful, my Corn-Goddess,
An aching clenched my poor throat,
I knew, I would see her no more.

Warmth comforted as we touched,
Gentle fingers caressing my arms,
I embraced her softness, so pure,
She kissed the tears from my face.

How I loved her, adored her, even,
Yet, I knew this day would come,
She drifted away, I did not call out,
And when I turned, she was gone.

Sauntering near the glade’s edge,
Summer’s sister beckoned, smiling,
A heady flirtation of russet and gold,
I sighed, indeed, I loved Autumn too.

© Paul Chafer 2014

As I enter the room,
She comes to me,
And asks, - demands –
“so, do you love me?”
I nod, smile, and reach,
My hand caressing her face.
“Hmm, you do not love me,”
She says, pushing into my palm.
“Only, know this, you are mine.
All the same.”
My fingers dance along her spine,
She arches, green eyes widening.
“Oh, yes, yes, just there,”
As I press, firmly,
Lovingly, affectionately.
“I do love you,”
I whisper,
Scratching beneath her chin.
“What’s not to love,”
She says, boxing my hand,
Before returning to her basket,
Her contended purr,
Speaking a thousand words.

As I wander down, twisting paths,
Low leaden skies, threatening rain,
Leaves drift down like confetti,
As winter awakens, once again.

Trees, their branches almost bare,
Rake and claw, at a heavy sky,
Thrashing impotently to be free,
As searching winds, rustle on by.

Bracken, faded yellow and brown,
So cloying with the scent of death,
A decaying, withering, tangled mass,
Autumn steals a last, silent breath.

Frost creeps in, coating the ground,
Painting trees and hedgerows white.
Woodland life, skulks and hides,
Avoiding the snap of winter’s bite.

Shortening days: lengthening nights,
Are forcing temperatures to fall,
A babbling brook becomes silenced,
The Ice-queen spreads her shawl.

Rain soon becomes transmogrified,
Within raging blizzards of snow,
Winter heralding an early arrival,
With a cool, breath-taking show.

Oh so cold, but I won’t complain,
For merciless winter simply laughs,
My breath pants in foggy plumes,
As I wander down, twisting paths.