The tyrant clouds bellow outside the building
my eyes had yet not caught them
but my bones rattle and vibrate
portending the doom that will soon shower me

Yet you packed my groceries
as you have done before
yesterday, yesterday's yesterday,
and yesterday's yesterday's yesterday

Your body is a memory
reflecting every trace of your existence
Your eyebrows are down
they're as dark and impending as the clouds outside

Your lips pursed
imprisoning the voice that would woo me
Your eyes downcast
holding that stare that would scare these clouds away

I could tell you a thousand things
and tell you a hundred of those
that you make me step outside
and face the storm

But I'll never talk to you
I don't know when your break is
because I don't work here
even though I wish I could

But then you'll be different
you'll be changed
a separate memory
unalike the one I used to see

Just let me hand to you
the yogurt and Dentastix
and you'd chuck them
inside the crunchy paper bag

The cashier will never know
of us and this experience
She will hand me the money
while I take my heart back from you

All of this
I mean all of this
will be washed and flooded away
and I know I'll be swallowed

by the flood of the great clouds
and I don't know when I'll come back
I just want to see you
when you're about to give me one last look

I'd return them
squeezing every second
wishing I could stare at you
until the flood dries out and the grass grows green

But by then your body
your eyes, your eyebrows
your lips would become another memory
I would still like to see them

I am a green leaf
ever sprouting from a healthy tree
I could feel the wind
how it brushes against me
All the poets have noticed
And they talk about me

I am a yellow leaf
about to fall and depart from shady canopy
The sun isn't as kind
to me and my other siblings
All the poets have noticed too
And they wallow about me

I am now a dead leaf
bowing beneath the elements
I am plucked from the things I knew
thrown into despair and loneliness
Only few, and not of them are poets—
some are passersby and wallflowers
They sometimes whisper
And they die with me

I took a pill from a bottle
I remembered I once took them all
I nearly died
I was waiting for something, for something to die

I took a pill to be calm
To be in control
To not have these lucid thoughts
Of pain, of loss and of death

But everything is fine
It is, it is fine

I took a pill that lets me know
That I know nothing's happened yet
It makes me not afraid
It makes me not afraid

But everything is good
It is, it is good

I don't know if I can still take a pill
I might drink them all again, quietly
So that when tragedy strikes and you are gone
I can be with you.

So for now, I'll just take one.
I'll take one to bear another day.
I'll take one.
I'll take one for you.

But everything is okay.
It is, it is okay.

The waves are trying to swallow you
The air was bitter and obstinate
Yet your screams for help
to be saved
oh, to be saved
Reverberates all around

I am not one to jump and save you
I know better
Or I don't
I don't know
Yet I call
save him
oh, save him
And you were saved

God you turned to me
How angry you were
Seething and beyond consolation

You were supposed to save me
I did—
You didn't jump
I know—

Drowning was all it took
You already know me
The air remained salty and unresponsive
I am a coward

I almost forgot all about you
as I busy myself every day.
I remember the past
where I yearn for you.

Now is almost the time
to stop loving you.
But I can't—
You are still in my head.

I want your tongue;
I want your chest;
I want what bothers you;
I want your soul, your deepest regret;
I want to be you.

Take me for a moment, and hold me in your arms.
I might stop loving you then if I learn you're only a warmth under a skin.
I will soon forget you, but, oh, sweet caress, how soon would I forgive you.

Forget me as I forget you
Take a step and I'll do it twice in the other direction
Let the horizon swallow you
Let your silhouette die amongst those of the trees.
Let me forget you as I pick pebbles.
Let me forget you.
Let me.

Distance is quite simple;
Either you're far or further
not near or closer.
For your love is not mine.

I prepared shells for you to crack;
To drill, to heed.
But the outermost is still the outermost--
For you do not love me.

Today as I walked passed you
still uncracked,
I felt the sand sliver in my insides.
The outermost is still the outermost--
For you will never love me.

I am completely blank—
A pen in hand
and a hurting heart
is a dangerous combination I have mastered.

You look like heaven
but I felt hell;
I yearned you stay in my dreams
where I only know you.

The sky is nothing for me
even if it yields the most beautiful color.
As I look only below
with a pen and a space I would write.

I am still blank—
no emotions I call my own,
I just write everything borrowed from you.
It is by the pen in hand
and a hurting heart.