Feeling indifferent
A 40 oz and promethazine still haven't put me to sleep
I wish I could clear my mind so I put smoke in my lungs real deep
I try to pray but can't get on my knees
I'm not Muslim or Protestant
No Jesus or Allah in my life
Just pain that cuts like a knife
Alcohol is the solution but the main problem
The answers, I will never solve em
My mom died because of that
I drove drunk and can't go back
What to do now,
My heart turned black
RIPped in two by a Hennessy bottle
Now my mom's gone all that's left is hurt
I should of gone, why did she get to go first
My life has been cursed since birth
Always think of leaving this Earth
I haven't been to heaven but I'm living in Hell
Somedays I contemplate suicide and saying farewell
But **** keeps moving
Life hasn't stopped
Even if I'm in a dark hole because I fell
I'm not an angel, demons are all around
I feel their presence more then Moms
When I call her name I don't hear a sound
But that's expected, there's no such thing as being resurrected
I cry inside but my eyes don't water, even after all my sorrow
The worst feeling is guilt and that always is to follow
Simple words to complex emotions
If my tear glands worked I could fill the oceans
But instead I look at you with a cold stare
No happiness here but who would really care?
Drunk driving so yea it was my fault
I should be dead instead of writing this ****** poem drinking a malt
Another cigarette, yea it helps
On top of that I might have a kid
My baby's mother is a ugly, horrible thought
Can't remember how or when we ******
Maybe it was the Hennessy, that must be it
I had 10k and an Audi I bought
Dropped the top and my mom flew out
And now all I do is ***** and pout
Try to cry but it never comes out
Then some family talks bad & threatens to **** me
Wish it wasn't just words because it'd make my day
Wonder if this feeling will ever go away
I wish I had someone to talk to but they all disappeared
**** the police for the lies that the jury believed
I really do wish, I was never conceived
My childhood friends are all doing 15+ for crimes that were and were not committed
Unlike my stupid father who deserves his sentence
Trying to **** my grandmother the day after my mom passed
All my life I hated him for not wearing a rubber or not being around to give gifts on Christmas
But now I hate him for not shoving that **** up his ***
If there was god, my life was made because it *******
Maybe you wonder about what indifferent means
All it means is I lost hope..but mainly lost any hope of giving a ****
That was the quick version but to sum it up
I'm cursed with forever with bad luck

Before the night begins to appear
I dont grab a cigar or beer

I pick up a cigarette to chase my Jack
I dont do shots, I poor a cup
After I smoke one I pull another out of my pack
My thoughts are slowed now that my stomach's filled up

When the moon is out
I'm drunk stumbling about
Waking up with strangers because I blacked out

So tonight I'm turning off my phone
Ima smoke & drink my whiskey alone
Please don't judge me, I'm grown.

(yea, I **** myself just a little bit everyday with these poisons to live, ironic?;)

Liquor might be the death of me
But I don't care, it's a part of me
Every time I have an extra 10 bucks, the liquor store I hit
I get drunk and call some girls..in the morning I'm like ****
Why is she mad, what did I say
Fucket, it's another day
Can't worry about what she's feeling
Nobody knows the cards my life has been dealing
It's ****** up, lonely boredom typing on some unknown website
Listening to Linkin Park "In the End"
My words are deeper than "bands a make her dance"
Yet I type in rhymes to make this **** have a cool end
My mind is ****** up
I forgot what this poem was about?
Liquor, oh yea. I have a bottle most people would get alcohol poisoning off of
I can drink it, no problem just wake up needing chapstick
Spent 100s on college books now I'm broke
Man I'ma loner I neeed a *** to poke
Lookin at my tatts glad I don't smoke
Liquor, I drink brown I drink clear
Straight up (ghetto talk) **** a beer

Okay here it goes
I'm depressed like usual.
Been over a decade of this *******
I just wanna die
These antidepressants ain't doing ****
**** a goodbye, no note. Maybe drive off a cliff
I have an AK and I wanna put it to my ****** head
But I'm a coward
I can't do it.. My will is to weak..
This is my attempt to speak.
I swear I wanna die but who'll pay for my funeral?
I know my family will suffer because of it..
Think that's the reason why..
I'm afraid to try.
This isn't a very good poem I know.
Because I don't give a **** and jus wanna go but still it helps letting my thoughts out.
Maybe suicide by cop?
Go shoot at the station till they feed me lead..
God that would be great, then I'd be dead.
But I'm a coward.. ****** hate myself
I'm a loser.. Someone pleeeeease **** me.
For now I just have to save money for my funeral..
Lol ain't that some ****, gotta pay to die
Cuz insurance won't cover suicide..
But if I fell off a cliff, how would they know I wanted to go?
But really I want just one 7 point six two...
And then I'll be happier then you.