Feeling indifferent
A 40 oz and promethazine still haven't put me to sleep
I wish I could clear my mind so I put smoke in my lungs real deep
I try to pray but can't get on my knees
I'm not Muslim or Protestant
No Jesus or Allah in my life
Just pain that cuts like a knife
Alcohol is the solution but the main problem
The answers, I will never solve em
My mom died because of that
I drove drunk and can't go back
What to do now,
My heart turned black
RIPped in two by a Hennessy bottle
Now my mom's gone all that's left is hurt
I should of gone, why did she get to go first
My life has been cursed since birth
Always think of leaving this Earth
I haven't been to heaven but I'm living in Hell
Somedays I contemplate suicide and saying farewell
But **** keeps moving
Life hasn't stopped
Even if I'm in a dark hole because I fell
I'm not an angel, demons are all around
I feel their presence more then Moms
When I call her name I don't hear a sound
But that's expected, there's no such thing as being resurrected
I cry inside but my eyes don't water, even after all my sorrow
The worst feeling is guilt and that always is to follow
Simple words to complex emotions
If my tear glands worked I could fill the oceans
But instead I look at you with a cold stare
No happiness here but who would really care?
Drunk driving so yea it was my fault
I should be dead instead of writing this ****** poem drinking a malt
Another cigarette, yea it helps
On top of that I might have a kid
My baby's mother is a ugly, horrible thought
Can't remember how or when we ******
Maybe it was the Hennessy, that must be it
I had 10k and an Audi I bought
Dropped the top and my mom flew out
And now all I do is ***** and pout
Try to cry but it never comes out
Then some family talks bad & threatens to **** me
Wish it wasn't just words because it'd make my day
Wonder if this feeling will ever go away
I wish I had someone to talk to but they all disappeared
**** the police for the lies that the jury believed
I really do wish, I was never conceived
My childhood friends are all doing 15+ for crimes that were and were not committed
Unlike my stupid father who deserves his sentence
Trying to **** my grandmother the day after my mom passed
All my life I hated him for not wearing a rubber or not being around to give gifts on Christmas
But now I hate him for not shoving that **** up his ***
If there was god, my life was made because it *******
Maybe you wonder about what indifferent means
All it means is I lost hope..but mainly lost any hope of giving a ****
That was the quick version but to sum it up
I'm cursed with forever with bad luck