We walk in a silence that begs to be broken
The words we wish to say go unspoken
I can almost see the tension
Reality is put in suspension
I can feel the words on my tongue
They are as foolish as I am young
I can't do this;I can't look into your eyes
And tell you warm sweet lies
Right now truth is the only path
In the head i've done the math
Thought out every word
How to strike every conversational chord
I just need to propel myself down this dead end
Some wounds never mend

I hold tight to my locket
Splotches of grey clouding  my vision
I wonder if my eyes are falling out of the socket
And I think with such terrifying precision
Rapid expansion and contraction
My breathing is out of sync
And its starting a chain reaction
I'm sliding toward the brink
I hate this hospital bed
I hate this room with its sickly white walls
And the ever-pressing reminder of the dead
That sometimes pass down these halls
Nobody talks straight
Always just euphemistic *******
I need someone to translate
I want to quit
But I won't, I can't
To sever my ties
To uproot my plant
That would only quicken my demise
I will hold fast
And hope that it can last

I can feel it in my bones
I can hear the dissonant tones
I see the clouds shifting above
I hear the cry of the mourning dove
Its song kicking in my head
I'm filled with dread
I wander down the empty streets
Hearing a strange series of beats
The rhythm of the times as it were
And time became a blur
The sun vanished into the trees
I can hear the night breeze
I look to the stars
I ignore the speeding cars
And focus on the heavenly lights

My thoughts are a mess
A side effect of the stress
I cherry pick the loose strands
And hold them in my hands
They are written in an unknown code
I think I'm going to explode
External pressure ever consuming
I wish I could see what was looming
Right around the bend
Maybe its the end
But I can't even make sense of the present
Can't tell its intent
I'm scared, I'm ******, I'm terrified
My senses are highly electrified
I'm moving fast but I don't know where I'm going
And I don't show any signs of slowing
I'm afraid of crashing
While the green light is flashing.

Sitting on the windowsill
Money to burn, time to ****
My full name passes your lips
Like a specter slithering from the crypts
The old blue wallpaper is peeling
And I know what you are feeling
That deep unsettling pit in your belly
The one that makes your legs feel like jelly
The one that makes you feel trapped in your skin
You want to say so much but you don't know where to begin

Its a rainy Tuesday afternoon
And the sun disappeared way too soon
Watching ****** Tuesday afternoon TV
Sipping some weirdly named herbal tea
I hear my knocking
I start walking
I open the door; your standing there
I try to remember how to properly breathe air
You look like you always do
Your eyes that peculiar blue hue
The color of the sea right after rainfall
******* it all
You got a box in your hand
I understand
I take the box and throw it inside
You follow me in and I can't hide
We sit and adjacent chairs
The floor is the recipient of my dead stares
My full name passes your lips
Like a specter slithering from the crypts
Memories rush back
A sudden panic attack
For an instant we lock eyes
I see past your disguise
I see a stranger
It puts my sanity in danger
I thought I knew you
What was false, what was true
What was right, what was wrong
Was this you all along
I loved you before
But now I'm going to show you the door
Out of my house and out of my life

I'm really sorry
That I broke your atari
You look at me with ****** brewing in your eyes
And a boiling rage that you just can't disguise
You mutter "Mint condition 1977"
And how you had it since you were eleven
You hold your game cartridges lovingly in you hands
And say that know one understands
I'm gonna be sleeping with one eye open tonight

I was reading my book
Snug in my little nook
Entranced by the flowing prose
I was in my comfy clothes
When you came upstairs
You sat in the little egg chair
You maintained the silence
We've developed a reliance
On this strange dynamic
We probably both need a mechanic
After several minutes, I look at you  
You look like you always do
Black hair unbrushed
Face a little flushed
Your looking out the window
The afternoon light setting your face a glow
I think you look pretty this way
Unassuming in the face of the day
Your not trying to be something, you just are
And that has gotten you pretty far

Air rushed from her lungs
The spring has been sprung
Her vision twisted and turned
As she tries to salvage the burned
Her eyes can not comprehend
How her world reached this end
She looked into the depths of insanity
And saw her burning vanity
Her mansion burned to ground
What was lost can not be found

Clothes sticking to our skin
Hearts drenched with sin
The flies buzzed in my ears
A wrench thrown in the gears
Your eyes glisten with LoveLust
And we displace the dust
Lingering in our old hotel room
I watch your eyes bloom
Old memories of the distant past
I wonder how long it can last
Replaying scenes from an old flick

Sparks fly as swords clash
Fire smolders into ash
Lights extinguishing
Hopes diminishing
Men giving in to desperation
It provides amplification
With their backs pushed against the wall
They will give it there all
Hope withers in their eyes
As they are strangled by an expansive web of lies
Its a rich man's war but a poor man's fight

Couldn't sleep. Watched the sun rise
It was no surprise
When you showed up
With a big coffee cup
We were sitting on the bleachers
Imitating nocturnal creatures
Your eyes flared
I think you were scared
That I wasn't sleeping
That some problem was creeping
From the background to the foreground
Without a notice or sound
And I wasn't telling you.
Because I refused to believe it was true

Its a rainy afternoon in May
Its a slow slow day
The droplets weave a song as they fall upon the glass
I wonder when it will pass
Maybe it won't. Maybe it will just keep raining
Unrelenting and forever maintaining
I venture outdoors
Into everlasting downpours
I am drenched
I am entrenched
In the feeling
That rain is healing
And both concealing and revealing
To enshroud yourself in a cloak of rain
Is a way to keep sane
To feel alone and completely together at the same time
To wash away all the grime
The nature of rain is to be cleansing

I've been listening to the wind get caught up in the chimes
As I try and find the pulse of the times
I try and turn my visions into substance
And gauge the type of resistance
That my attempts might receive
I try and perceive
The way the light passes right through the trees
And the direction of the breeze
Blows right through my ears
Whispering to me all my fears

The cool air
The sun's glare
I trace the bumps on my skin
I wonder where to begin
I walk down the path
I probably need a bath
I avoid peoples gazes
I navigate my own personal mazes
I stumble into a convince store
My bare feet cold on the tile floor
No one says anything
There's a song on the radio, I sing
I find that one type of chips I will actually eat
I buy them and I'm out on the street
I find myself listening to the sea
Siting with eyes closed underneath the big oak tree
I think as the cool sea breeze cuts through my coat
I hear the long loud horn of a nearby boat
I sit there for a long time, then my phone rings
Annoyed by the sense of reality it brings
Though I still pick up the phone
And realize my mom wants me home

My hands are shaking
There is no mistaking
That I am lost in the dark
I somehow ended up at this park
The swing set looks vaguely inviting  
And there is no use in fighting
My ever present notion to be in motion once more
To be still is to be at war

The long winding roads leading out to the sea
The sun peaking through the steely grey clouds
The dirt on the old roads have barely settled
When the tanks moved through
The wildlife was gone
As tanks plowed through
Through the grassy fields
Soldiers stumbled behind
****** and disoriented
Shots pierce the silence
For one single moment everything is still
As you see the soldiers rise from the fields like spirits from the grave
You see the long cold barrel of a gun pointed down at you
In an instant you see the spark
Then you hear the sound
Then you feel the hot steel ripping through your skin
You look down at the ****** stump that was once your leg
You realize you are on the ground
You see the same scene replayed all down the road
Then you feel the same pain again
and again and again
Till you don't feel anymore

We trace back our origins
As we breath in the toxic halogens
Time and space are deteriorating rapidly
And I’m losing all sense of me
Everything’s becoming intertwined
Nothing is easily defined
The lines are blurred
I do not know what has or has not occurred
I experience past present and future as one instance
My mind offers no resistance
I have become a conduit for all creation
Through that I have found salvation

The whole place smelled like a **** hospital; sterile and white
And then I broke out of there in the middle of the night
And I felt utterly free
I didn't know what it meant to be me
But I was about to find out
I cast aside the shackles of self doubt
And I shall attack the world like a starving dog to a slab of meat
I jumped and I manage to land on my feet.

the feeling of dread was creeping
we were only sleeping
here on the soft green grass
god i hope it will pass
and man were singing that same old song
and i hope that we can get some people to sing along
and that we don't get caught up in the form
that we differ from the norm
i'm spurting out whatever comes out to mind
and your responding in kind
that insane babble that make up our conversations
it has no reservations
it makes my day
in more ways then i can ever say
a break from normality
a rapid change in my mentality
might as well enjoy it here
as were spinning on a little blue sphere

You toss your coat on the floor
The heat is escaping rapidly
You slam shut the door
You look over at me
I'm sitting in the armchair
You're smiling a feline smile
It's too much to bear
We havn't done this in a while
You pull out a deck of cards from your pocket
You deal out a hand
Your eye whirls in its socket
You know something that I will never understand
My hand is total ****
You lay down four aces
A leap back a bit
You start making faces
I pull out my phone
I call up that little pizza place
Tonight we're eating out at home
Theres that smile on your face
And we continue playing way into the night

I haven't heard another voice in three whole days
I soak in the suns rays
Driving with all the windows down
Trees look like blurs of green and brown
I'm taking back roads that people have forgotten
On the trees the fruit grows rotten
It's just me and the warm radio static
Talking to myself has become almost automatic
I get this feeling, one that I can't explain
I stop the car on the corner of Old Sandwich Road and Norway Lane
I get out of the car, my feet uncertain as they hit the ground
I don't hear a single human sound
Only the wind dancing on the leaves
And the sun touching everything it perceives
The birds talking in the slow summer air
A song leaves my lips like a signal flare
It was wordless song
It felt like it would belong
In the endless choir of the trees
My hair is ruffled by the breeze
As if the forest was patting me on the head
I get back in the car and drive the endless road ahead

I'm digging your geometry
All of your beautiful asymmetry
Measuring out all of your curves
You are more then I deserve
Obtuse, acute and right
You are stunning tonight
Your perpetually moving lines
In the moonlight; you shine
Your an ever changing equation
I wish to find your every unknown variable

Fading clarity
Gaping iregularity
Rapid decomposition
A crumbling postion
Fear and anger fuel the fires
As they unravel the knot of desires
A purely toxic entanglement
The wounds were allowed to ferment.
Now we are slowly dying
Of this there is no denying

Oh this feeling of utter alienation
This endless road trip without a destination
Trapped inside this metal monstrosity of a car
I feel like we haven't made it very far
Constantly around the same round about
Enshrouded in fog made of doubt
I'm endlessly confined
Within the labyrinth of my mind
Shifting corridors, dark spaces
Constant bombardment of familiar faces
I gaze out the tinted windows
And try and figure what no one knows
To try and bypass the security of my brain
To do so and remain sane
To see what cannot be seen
To tap into the source of inspiration

Your voice is lower than a whisper
A voice I strain to hear
To hear over the immeasurable strangling silence
To hear the sweet waves of flow and movement
The words rise up and smash on the shores of my mind
I feel the endless potential energy stored in the structure of your light phrasing
Chemical bonds ready to burst.
I grasp at them like a blind man grasping at straws.
I want to understand you
To understand the girl inside that painted armor
I love you.
I love the you I perceive
I just want to hold you deep in the ever expanding country of my arms
When we talk I see your eyes light up
Your whole face moves into the perfect position
I know that is you.
Your mouth is the opening of an endless river
As a stream of whispered beauty flows perpetually
I love this you.
The one who talks honestly and beautifully.

The moment is so fleeting
I can hear your heart beating
In this perfect silence
I've developed a realiance
To the frequency of your eyes
Shimmering like the bright blue skies
I listen to your breathing
I think your worth believing

We're drifting apart
Slowly but surely
Snipping the strings of the heart
I'm not speaking prematurely
I feel it in the words you speak
In the way you kiss
You're losing your mystique
I know something is amiss
The light that once lit up your face is fading
Sometimes it feels like talking to a stranger
Where I once felt at home, I now feel like I'm invading
I feel like I'm living in constant danger
At any moment you may deal the final blow
I don't want it to end
I want to continue to grow
And you will insist on still being my friend
Whatever the hell that means
Still the same messy end
I'm tearing at the seams
With the immanent evasion  
Awkward mono-syllable conversations
Just the balancing of the equations
The beginning and the end of relations

The torrential downpour slammed against the ship
The helmsman is losing his grip
The sails are in shambles
The captain has been reduced to rambles
The storm shows no sign of slowing
And that feeling in my stomach is rapidly growing
We are going to sink
Salty water is going to be my last drink
Thor's hammer strikes above
Only pure unadulterated fear
With my death so near
I gaze back into the past
Savoring every memory while it lasts
I look at it sweetly through rose tinted glass
I smile softly to myself as all things must pass
The water grabs me in an ice cold embrace
And I die with grace and a smile on my face
Through death i know what it means to live
All the pleasure and horrors it can give
So don't throw it away
Use and abuse everyday

My skin as white as house hold bleach
The stars are hopelessly out of reach
I munch on cheddar pringles
As I lay on roof shingles
The air cuts right through
The moon looks so blue
It's chilling
It's thrilling
Goosebumps dot my skin
And I don't know where to begin
Basking in the moon's heavenly glow
I feel things I shouldn't know
It surges through my veins
Moving faster than hypersonic jet planes
And it flies up my wind pipe
Oh the moment is ripe
And it erupts
It disrupts
The surrounding air
And I don't care
It's instantaneous
Utterly spontaneous  
My words are torrential
Unlimited potential

I remember that day
When it was too hot to hold hands but we did anyway
And the sunlight was streaming
And our smiles were gleaming
And the sunshine cascaded through your hair
And I remember the water bottle we had to share
The pavement was hot beneath our feet
And you looked so sweet
And we scouted for free air conditioning
And as if by predetermined positioning
We stumbled into a little tea shop
I watched your jaw drop
As I faithfully recited your favorite order
We sat in the booth by the window
That day was slow
We didn't talk much
We didn't need that crutch
I held your hand in mine
Sweet as grapes off the vine
We watch the great blue expanse above
And I remember what it meant to be in love.

The cold air makes everything still
Like the whole world took a sleeping pill
And as we stumble through this frozen instant
Everything seems distant
Sounds seem duller
Fading color
Trees dead and bare
The world doesn't seem to care
Warmth's sweet and hard to find
The grayness batters the mind
The glorious white snow turns to grey slush
There is a sudden rush
For spring
And all the pleasures it brings

Thoughts aborted
Wills contorted
Perceptions twisting
Voices persisting
Unnatural courses
Internal forces
Intense moral storms
Light transforms
Into splintered perception
Divine deception
Everything is tainted
Broad strokes are painted
Intense fear of sunlight
Boiling with fright
This darkness is serene
So unholy,so unclean

We must shift
Before we go adrift
We must drink the earthly rain
Before we go insane
And all shall come before us
Laughing like children of the forest
Whispering things that we can never hear
Planting the seeds of doubt and fear
We shall become enlightened
We shall become frightened
All rushing our mind
We must know what we cannot find
We must believe
We must not grieve
For those who cannot grow
Those who cannot know
We must seek deliverance
Forsake our innocence
Venture forth
Prove your worth

You're staring at me from the picture frame
My brain is inflamed with your name
It's repetitious
Almost fictitious
You're thought vapor
Remnants of a forgotten caper
But your always there to some extent
Like an ancient apocalyptic event
You were chaotic
Absolutely exotic
A mystery in every sense
With an air tight defense
Against any interaction
Any social transaction
You were cold and unblinking
No emotions just pure thinking
At least on the outside
But there was something you couldn't hide
A glimpse of fire in your eyes
Something that you despised
I dug at it like a half starving miner
Attempting to penetrate with bad one liners
But I was rejected
Completely misdirected
But I kept at it
Like an alcoholic with a bad habit
You were defiant
Completely self reliant
And I was addicted
Recently afflicted
With this ailment
Resulting in the complete derailment
Of my sanity
For the sake of your vanity
I followed you like a hound to the the trail
But to no avail

I slept in my clothes
My sanity in its death throes
I throw back some whiskey
Makes me feel frisky
Cuts back the static
Demolishes the walls of this ******* attic
So silent I can hear my heart beating
My lucidity is thankfully fleeting
I dive into a world unseen
Not dreams nor reality, but something in between
Up here time has no meaning
The sun is no longer gleaming
Darkness clouds my mind
But I am free and unconfined
My issues scattered on the floor
Nothing less, nothing more

Utter rejection
Fear injection
I'm about to quit
Tired of this *******
Completely demoralizing
Seemingly finalizing
Soul crushing
Emotions rushing
Fears evolving
This is all involving
Self reliant
Feeling defiant
**** the machine
They don't play clean
Utter manipulation
Choking creation
Do what they say
They can pay
It's depressing
It's distressing
Stand up, shout, scream
Don't be afraid to dream
Its insanity
A tribute to vanity
Shallow thinking
Heavy drinking
Try to escape
The intellectual ****
Someone will listen
And there eyes will glisten

Divert all power to the source
Let it run its course
Running purely on caffeine
A highly functioning machine
I can no longer feel
Can't tell what is real
Straight processing power
That is the hour
When everything is final
The needle always skips on the vinyl
I am completely efficient
My body is nutrient deficient
My body is utter destruction
My mind is under construction
A complete renovation
An overload of information
My vision is starting blur
Waiting for miracles to occur
My memory blanks
I can't access the memory banks
There's the test
I can't rest
My pencil is shaking
I'm at the point of breaking
I pass out with the test in front of me.

Eyes thick with prophecy
Things only I can see
Fire burning
No ones learning
The wind howls
Straight from hell's bowels
An unatural cold
Watching death unfold
Its spreading its dark cloak
All clouded with smoke
Simple subtraction
A toxic attraction
Flirting with death
Savoring every breath
We fear what we can't understand
Fear and hate go hand in hand
Demons rising
Supernatural uprising
Fear shall plauge the Earth
And we shall give birth
To hatred and fear
Tainting all who are near
Evil in all we see
Only wishing to be free
From paranoia rises insecurity
A wish to return to obsecurity
Evil in every glass of water
Like lambs to the slaughter
We shall turn on each other
Brother against brother
insanity shall rule
Fear is an incindery fuel
Ignition results in a chain reaction

You are my type
The time is ripe
The time for the harvest
No time to rest
The fruit is glistening in the trees
Sweet summer breeze
Sunlight streaming
Smiles gleaming
Minds dreaming
Subconsciousness screaming
Feet in the softgreenmoist grass
Time no longer seems to pass
I'm reaching critical mass
Your soft sweet smile
Your charm and guile
You've got style
Your eyes burn with such intensity
Such perfect density

you say i'm mature
but i'm not sure
is there a cure
i wan't to be a child
something untamed and wild
perfect innocence
i require deliverance
from my own mind
i will no longer be confined
by foolish social responsibilities
i will be measured on my own abilities
and not by peoples twisted perception
this is not self deception, i merely am a exception

I gaze at the ceiling
The tiles all moldy and peeling
My blood is about to boil
The food is starting to spoil
The fridge light blew out
I'm starting to fester doubt
My eyes are ablaze
And for the rest of my days
The seeds of fear shall spread
I hear the whispers of the dead.
It has been weeks
My mind and body reeks
Left alone
You now roam
Leaving me here to rot
You were all I sought.

The clouds are bursting
And we are thirsting
We light another cigarette
Drags tinged with regret
The drain drenches
We still sit on the park benches
Damp hair plastered to our skin
I try to speak, but I know not where to begin
My thoughts are unassailable
Contents unmailable
We sit in silence
An unspoken alliance
but we both know
This where we can go
We breath out smoke
You crack a joke
The first voice I've heard in hours
I laugh, I drink in the showers.
Your timing is impeccable

Victims of circumstance
A slow lovely dance
Fire ever consuming
Ever blooming
Grass always growing
Water always flowing
Find your direction
Walk through the intersection
Find your voice
Make a choice
Not everything black and white
You need insight
Read musty books
Listen to babelling brooks
Learn the wonders of the Earth
For all it is worth
To learn that it is utterly harmonious
It is simply euphonious

Emotion rising
Drafts Revising
Words rearranging
Underlying emotion unchanging
I'm a tangles mess
Under stress
Pulse quickening
It's sickening
The words won't form
This can't be the norm
It looks so easy
But all I feel is queasy
In my mind it seems so clear
But in my mouth it is only fear
You stare at me with your big brown eyes
You're munching on french fries
I feel the words weight on my tongue
A love song that refuses to be sung
I shall wait until tomorrow
Till I find some words to borrow

His scarf flowed harmlessly in the breeze
I stood with him in that collection of trees
His midnight hair was flowing and free
There was no place i'd rather be
In the empty space between us, i positioned my hand
He grabbed it softly, as if every motion, every action was planed.
Inside fireworks burst
This is the first
On the outside, I send him a small smile
He stared into my eyes for a while
I was staring into the depths of the ocean
It seemed like an eternity and then. There was motion
In one fluid motion he closed the distance.
There was no resistance
My body responded in turn
My arms somehow found the right spot, I can't discern
Who's what  is what anymore
His lips find mine, my senses more
Things tighten
I feel enlightened
This moment is so precise
This exact feeling will not happen twice
Then he pulls away.
I'm breathless, I do not know what to say
I feel like I have forgotten how to speak
Without him, I feel a tad weak
His face is red, and all smiles

Thousands of lights hang in the cool night air
You were wearing that sweatshirt that smelled like sunshine
My fingers found themselves in your long auburn hair
We gazed at the skyline
Metal giants trying to grab the stars
Countless people living in the belly of the beast
But out here. In the forest nothing is ours
Tonight we drove east
Silence engulfs us completely
There is no need to speak
Nature does it sweetly
Out here words seem weak
I gaze into your twin blue lakes
They are pure and free
There is no time for mistakes
We simply be.

Oh I'm going to Japan
All according to plan
Trapped in this little plane
Going a little insane
Staring out the window
Seeing the wind blow
The clouds look odd
And I'm a little awed
Miles above the ground
And there's not a sound
Save that one snoring man
That screaming child, whose name I gather is Stan
And that one obsessive compulsive flight attendant
Who I think is dependent
On those little pink pills that keep appearing in her hand
But its fine, its alright, I'm going to Japan.
Land of the rising sun
Here I come, even if I'm the only one
Getting off this accursed sardine can.
At least I'll be arrested in Japan.

I knock back water bottles
And drive down the empty highway
My eyes focused on the fuel gauge
Pull into the gas station
Pay too much for too little
Whatever, its only money
I'm almost there
Countless miles behind me
Fuckfuckfuckfuck
It hits me
My brain goes into overdrive
Every possible reality plays out in my mind
All of them detached from reality
I think with such certainty
I almost say hello to my breakfast again
I pull over
I put the seat all the way back
And stare out the moon roof
All the clouds look like you
I guzzle down another water bottle
It helps disperse the biblical disaster that is my stomach
I reach tentatively for my cell phone
I dial your number seven times before i get the ***** to call
You answer.
I panic.
You sound good.
You tell me you miss me.
Fireworks. Marching bands. The key to the city
I answer calmly. That i will arrive shortly
We hang up.
I drive faster then scientists thought possible.

The walls were white and bare
And I endlessly stare
As the light explodes off the wall
I lay on the floor in a sprawl
Half dead, half alive
I've taken a dive
Into unknown emotions
Large unmapped oceans
Drowning can't breathe
No exit, can't leave
My body useless, my mind a battleground
I lay here waiting to be found
For a voice in the dark
For a chance to embark
Wash up on dry land
Use my own two feet to stand
The sunlight turns to twilight
Everything isn't alright
I feel helplessly alone
Weighed down by a massive stone
I dreamed of the sunrise
That must materialize before my eyes
For at night I do not sleep
I simply weep
Everything is changing
My thoughts rearranging
My body does tire
But my mind is on fire