The word “Lover”
With all its societal connotations
Never made much sense to me,
Until I fell in love with you.

I still remember how it felt
When we watched that performance
Together;
Somehow frozen in the memory
As it was being made,
Suspended beautifully in time,
Just like the sheets of paper
That Taylor had scattered
In the wind.

I remember my heart
Pumping joyfully,
Full of life;
Blessedly and peacefully
Feeling as though I was right
Where I was supposed to be,
Because I was with you.

You can always go where I go,
We can always be that close,
And you can have every summer
That remains in our lifetime.

Like my palimpsest tattoo,
We can grow,
Or we can change,
But we will always
Truly be “lover”
To one another.

Though I can’t always
Give you fancy things,
You will always have -
My love,
                                  My heart,
My hand,
                                  My soul,
And I would still
Marry you with paper rings
In a heartbeat.

So please;
Be my lover baby,
                                  Be my soulmate
Be my best friend,
                                  Be my wife,
For this year and for all years to come.

And I will be yours
Until the world blows up,
Until the sun swallows the earth,
Until we return to stardust,
Until I find you in the next life,
And in every life beyond.

The hours without you
Are long and lonesome.
My brain starts to itch,
My heart starts to ache,
My soul starts to pine,
For you are not here with me.

The days are so long,
The nights longer still,
And I miss you,
And mourn you,
Until the very second
We return to each other.

We fell in love
In the same way that I’d been
Affected by you
The very first time that I saw you;
Immediately, beautifully, completely.

Ever since we started
We’ve been a tornado
And a volcano;
To be honest I still can’t tell
Which of us is which.

But honestly
Those descriptors feel inadequate
When you consider us in totality,
We are far more than destructive winds
And red hot pain.

We are also
The sunshine that you feel
On a cool spring day,
Those blessed drops of rain
In a Melbourne heatwave,
The awe inspiring thunderstorm
That often tends to follow,
And the perilously faint rainbow
Which signals the storm has passed.

More than any chaotic iteration,
In retrospect,
I’ve come to love our peace.

The prince of cats was wrong,
We needn’t hate the word.
And although we wear the title well,
We don’t always need to be crowned
The King & Queen of Chaotic Love.

There’s no need to fight now,
Unless our King & Queendom
Come under threat,
And if that day comes
We will face it together.

So together
Let’s take off our armour,
Put down our weapons
Find our way to each other,
And let’s go home together.

My fingers slowly move in circles.
My eyes fixed on the small section of shirt
That they are gently exploring,
As you ask me to describe
What sits just underneath the surface.

Soft skin,
Perfectly smooth and white,
A small circle of the palest pink.
Somehow, impossibly, even softer still,
With a textured dome perfectly centred
And just the right shade darker.

As I paint the scene with words,
You begin to respond physically,
But always continuing to speak.
I outline what I do to you,
Describing all my favourite tricks,
Knowing how much they turn you on.

Just as I start to think I’m in control,
I am humbled as the balance starts to shift.
You detail every little thing
That you know I like to do,
That I like to have done,
And precisely why I like them.

It was like nothing I had ever experienced,
The sheer intimacy
Of being so well known and understood.
Our connection from soul to soul,
Even stronger and more vivid,
Than our usual cerebral link.

There was something new under the sun,
Something I had never known existed,
And it was so fundamentally connected
To life and love and ***,
Such cornerstones of my identity.

It was the softness,
That struck me more than anything,
Being known so completely
By someone that I loved.
It made me see the stark lack of love,
That had coloured my life
Before you.

I’m proud to have wept in that moment.
I love that you held me,
Let me put on “Breathe Me”
And experience that flood of feelings.

I had never felt so loved,
Nor had a moment so intimate.
My whole life could have gone by
Never knowing those feelings existed,
But thanks to you I have
The most incomparable human experience,
Forever in my mind and heart.
For that, I am eternally grateful.

You came into my life
At such an unexpected moment,
Somehow the perfect person
When I needed someone to talk to
As though I had known them
For my whole life.

Years later I returned to your life
At such a critical moment,
Somehow exactly what you needed
Bringing with me
Sedation, stimulation, conversation
And the long forgotten love.

When we brought our lives together,
Nothing could have prepared me
For just how much energy
Would surge through the chapters
In the story of our life together,
Although it honestly wasn’t a surprise.

From the moment we moved in
To our first cozy little nest,
We were all systems go.
Living absolutely everything to the fullest,
Whether it was simple domestic bliss,
Or ***, drugs, and rock and roll.

Some might call it a rollercoaster,
But we would think of it
As a fast and furious drive
Through cities and mountains,
Blanketed with Huon Valley fog,
That we would feel our way through.

No matter how wild the ride gets,
I wouldn’t trade this life with you
For absolutely anything.
I’ll forever be your lover,
And will go with you anywhere,
Your ride or die every night every day.

Seven in the morning
Has always been a difficult hour.
So many days started
With too little sleep,
Or too little motivation
To face the day ahead.

But that one beautiful memory,
Thirty two stories in the air,
Is enough to redeem seven am
For the rest of my life.

I can still picture it;
The blinds are slightly open,
And a a perfectly orange sunrise
Is spilling through the window.

The light shines straight across you,
Bathing you in celestial rays
As you sleep peacefully,
And the world is blissfully still.

I savour every second of that morning,
Committing it to memory
In the most vivid detail I can manage,
So I can remember it on nights like this.

Your alabaster skin,
Softer and smoother than anything,
Is resting just beside me,
With the sheet gently settled
Just below the top of your legs.

I watch as your back rises and falls,
Slowly and peacefully;
I’d never seen you sleep quite like that.

I study the curves, peaks and valleys
Of your body
Like some human topographer,
Wanting to ensure my mental map
Doesn’t have a single error
Or missing piece.

You turn your face towards me,
And I had never been so happy
To see you keep sleeping.

Your perfect lips are slightly pursed
Enhancing your natural volume and texture,
While that gorgeous shade of pink
Is complimented by the orange sunlight.

You are so beautiful.
I find myself thinking it often.
But that morning sits forever in my mind
As the most I’ve ever found myself
Transfixed in reverent bliss.

There are few perfect moments in life,
But that morning was one of them.
If life truly flashes before our eyes at death,
I want my last conscious moments
To be spent inside that memory.

There always seem to be days (or nights)
Where I blithely overstep
Even our fluid and flexible boundaries,
And the silence that follows is deafening.

You always knew who I was,
And that I could be what you needed,
But somehow it still takes you by surprise
When I act exactly like we said I would.

I always wanted someone
Who would call me on my *******,
Which you’ve been happy to do,
From the moment that we met.

This was always us,
Exactly what we said we needed.
So I’ll find what I’m supposed to,
And you’ll act like you’re offended.

We always work it out together.
So after we’ve both played our parts,
And we’re ready to go home together,
We can just smile, and say “Hello, You”.