Love is time.
And for a small time in long life i lay in bed with you.
After making wonderful love, i started having feelings again.
Feelings that i haven't known or imagined in a good time.
I know the only reason that happened is because i set into play some scenarios in my head.
I have to be more careful.
But it was kinda strong, the potential of it.
From this i knew i would be good.. it just wasn't necessary.
I don't recall or even remember if i knew if it was to explore or because it was sincere
but i liked it and it was true.
Just by holding you, at least in the moment,  i wanted to make you mine.
But i know different, and i know that you aren't mine.
It can't happen.
My mind does not agree, i use my head, and i don't care about my feelings because,
emotions are suicidal.
I don't like just to like.
.. You will never know that i, almost loved you.
Don't get it wrong. It's not for any other reason.. I really don't want you to know.
And i wouldn't want us to happen.
If that small moment lasted forever, my love would have been.
It's important though, to know that this will most likely never happen again.
That means you were one girl that had my love for one small moment.
No more will come.. there are specific reasons.
I was ready to give it all.
That love or almost love i had for you still exists somewhere in that air. In that same moment.
That forever stuck time.
I was ready to lose it all.
Even though i knew it wouldn't happen like i already explained before, i felt like i wanted nothing else but to stay with you. And it made me want you more.
Our bodies felt so warm and yours great while holding it tight against mine.
One moment is stronger than can be imagined.
There was something selfish about the air we shared; it was only for us.
Not to mention how healthy it was; it was truly robust.

  I love you in that moment, but you will never know.

I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes i feel like my head is full of rocks.
As if my thoughts were stones, so it's so hard to think.
Like if you could knock on 'em you'd break your fist.
And im sure if you tried to skip 'em they would only sink. Probably sink until they reach my heart and just sit there, on a chair, so it's so hard to love.
Love is nowhere near the point.
My stand - still thoughts i cannot forget.
There are times when the only thing i think up are roadblocks.
It's just as hard to think as it is to speak when you desire but your mouth is heavy.
If i don't give you an answer it's simply because i can't think of one.
I hope this doesn't sound like an excuse because it's not, but it is definitely my reason.
When i fail to remember about grabbing my wallet, and my phone - don't blame me it was just the heavy stones. They travel to my hands.
When i get us completely lost, with a few wrong turns, i just wasn't thinking straight.
Stone thoughts make it hard to think.
When it rains im under the weather, the rocks get wet, trap the water, make a river and it pours into my soul endlessly drowning my body.
It rises, overflows and it all comes out through my mouth, ears & eyes.
It's how you see me; and it is possible that might be my demise.
I don't know how i came to these thoughts that don't let me be.
Or more like it , that need to set me free.
These rocks - my rocks - fall into the self deception.
Some come with a bad reception - sourced from a good transmission.
But then again i don't think it's ever good to have self - suspicion.
So then the idea comes of a soft giving.

  Sometimes i wish for the yards to shrink.
  Rocks in my head, so it's so hard to think.

Man, that was bitter.
I've never felt a wind any thicker.
Every other time there was a small stone to break my step.
And a grimy engine to break the silence.
I was looking for quality time to explore.
Appreciation is what i adore.
I had just recovered from a hang over so all i really wanted to do was lay under.
The sun rays were beautiful but they seeped through my eyelashes. I made it all okay by raising my hand to the sky and getting in it's way.
Oh yeah, my orange juice didn't taste so good either.
Florida can only imagine California.
The only thing i had to help me was adventure.
Uncertainty of what i was doing.
I tried to keep my mind, but i couldn't picture anything at all.
There was a drawing on the floor, but the image was meaningless.
..Man, that was bitter.
Absolutely no taste. And i tried to talk, i tried to sing, yell, even whisper but the taste was all wrong.
When the gardens came i picked up a Tulip. The soil must have been bad 'cause the color was all gone.
The ants & the crickets weren't even doing any work. Their day must have been too long.
In the distance i saw the path i was on disappear. So i kept on walking.
In an even further distance, when i came to it, there were "No Enter" signs.
There wasn't any figuring my way around that one.
When i could have sworn only a few hours had gone by time was a trick as the big sun tucked away in the horizon.
Now it was night time but it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be considering the day time, although the moon was looking pretty concentrated..
I made the best of what it was.
On my return, i couldn't help but notice i came with the night.
My thoughts were not full and they came from unknown directions.

And oh man, was that bitter.

I have so much love, but i don't know what to do with it.
My heart just sits there, on a chair.
I watch it. And observe it; but nothing more ever happens.
It's just there, sitting, waiting - for something.
When i try to listen, i only hear it's whispers.
I've seen it dance, i've seen it sing, i've seen it play.
But i've never seen it love.
It's been picked on, and maybe it's done some picking.
I know it's been through a lot of beating, like it's been through a lot of dying.
But never has it been loved.
I had to catch it one time, because it fell off the chair, and it almost hit the ground.
Too many times have i seen it do nothing. It once even laid down.
I know it pictures more though..
I've seen it dream.
Sometimes it bleeds, sometimes it's just dry.
.. But no times has my heart loved.


  I have so much love, but i don't know what to do with it. My heart just sits there, on a chair.

I met an old man a long time ago.
He came to me today, he told me a few things - he reminded me of a few things i had done.
He knew my whole life, his words told it all.
.. He knew of the time i was so angry i killed a man.
It hurt.
I also kept the dead mans money.
It only made me feel better.
One night i went out and did everything i possibly could to disobey my parents.
.. I didn't care.
Someone tell me why those kids made me feel like i was superior !
They don't know what i know.. but time passed on.
The time passed so much it was night again.
This time i really couldn't help myself.
Who could with so much alcohol and such a sensual woman ?
I ****** her that night. And it hurt soo good.
Before the old man could say anything else, Bang ! and a puddle of tears leaked.
I didn't enjoy watching my neighbor suffer, but it was getting to me that he had everything better.
Plus i take more food then i always should, and every seven times i throw away what i can't finish.
Bang ! and a puddle of tears leaked.
I made fun of an innocent girl in public, Bang ! and a puddle of tears leaked.
I stole a nice car in some random neighborhood, Bang !
I started a tragic rumor i know i shouldn't have, Bang !
I started thinking things i shouldn't be thinking, Bang !
and 3 puddles of tears leaked.
He wasn't going to stop.. So i made him.


  For everytime the old man spoke to me, the drummer hit harder; 'till one day he couldn't anymore, Bang ! and a puddle of sound leaked.

I need More Material
And more imagination.
I need more resources
And more exaggeration.
I need More Material
'Cause it's always about More Material.
My heart needs a new mind
And my mind needs a new heart.
I need one more eye, for each side of my one face.
I need one more gun, for my one right hand, which i need one more of -
And one more left hand, for one more Bible..
Which i need more of.
I need one more soul, one more gut, look, tongue, and one more voice
.. to get this through to you.
Or maybe just one more pen..
I need a little more strength, but a lot more endurance.
I could use one more sense to make it seven.
All my faith is in the Heavens.
I need one more girl, in one more lifetime, 'cause life is just too short.
I just need more of one girl.
I need one more world, Im already tired of this one.
I need one more hour of sleep and I'll be living my dream.
Your persistence was not for nothing, Martin Luther King.
I need one more event to make me feel once more.
One more thing to hold on to before the tears come flying out of my eyes.
One more map to try and find the head that i've lost.
One more reason to go to war.
I need to find a lucky penny, and then one more for you.



I just know that one more is always better. So i ask for More Material.

Hey you there.
Hey you all there, but for right now
Hey you there.

I have so much to say, but the
Time & Ink are not on my side.
I Love You ! I Love You ! And what happened made me feel like crap.
I hated it.
But i Loved it, & now i always will.
I have so much to say but the Time & Ink aren't on my side.
I have the words to Explore, Shine upon, and Discover for an infinite length of time - But time has some evil in it.
I have the Time to write, Express and tell an amount of words so infinite - But it turns out Ink has some evil in it.
Oh how im stuck.
Im completely left alone in the unknown.
Im shocked.
You were the best, but now you're just your best.
Oh how much i miss you, but i think i miss the Heart-Break more.
I have so much Love to give, so update yourselves.
It's New News, and New Olds.
Im not the same old, same old - Im Differently New, Differently New.
My clocks big and little sticks go Time-Ink ! Time-Ink ! The scribbles of my pen go Time-Ink ! Time-Ink ! And i feel it so much the beat of my Heart goes Time-Ink ! Time-Ink !
I have something to say; But im gonna keep it to myself.
If your mind understood .. I'd **** you.
My soul is so sharp, and my words so precise - I'm glad you're a ****** !
Im glad people know their "own best".
Im just sorry peoples "own best" don't know their own best.
Time-Ink .. Time-Ink ..

Let me say this how my Time-Ink circumstance allows me to.
I don't want to make you jealous -
And i don't want to hurt your feelings.
I only want to hurt your thoughts.
Let me stab & tear stab & tear your thoughts with Time & Ink Time & Ink until you're confused.
Until you don't know if you know or do not know what you're doing.
Until you don't know if you're Free or if you're *******.
Help, Im Alive - My Heart Keeps Beating Like A Hammer.

Time & Ink, Time & Ink.
I have a few minutes and few scribbles left to say what i want to say.
Death will happen.
That's the ugliness of Time & Ink.
Is it worth expressing myself with this evil ?
Oh well im doing it anyways.
I swear i will break this pen !
And **** all time !
And disappoint their assumed knowledge of an expected time and amount with Death to their lives.
I love everything about you.
Even after all the Time & Ink ..
I have come to notice that i Hate only how you are society, and a product of society so typically biased..

But only because i know what you will do.

So To You There, Time & Ink.
To You All There, Time & Ink.
To Us .. "Time & Ink" And Love.