I need soul.
I need things that make me stronger on my way so.
Im this, and I'm that.
But I'm only everything that i wish to be known as.
A love-a-holic.
A work-a-holic.
A write-a-holic.
I love to love, i love my hustle, & I'm hooked on phonics.
I'm on it; I'm soul-sonic..
Im addicted,
Though that doesn't mean I'm restricted.
My life is however i depict it.
I enjoy trying to figure the reasons of my interests very much.
I hope i don't like it because you do,
Or because you don't.
I love being under the influence of my confusion..
Im addicted to how and what i tell myself are the meanings of the things i do.
And since I'm a sinner, my body's addicted to the things i wouldn't want to do.
I have a need to see through you like a window's view.
But i need to deal with it somehow.
Oh well..
Im an i-couldn't-care-less addict.
I need it if it makes me feel the static.
You-can't-influence-me-at-all addict.
The drugs in my nerves make me feel ecstatic.
I've had it.
Now I'm going to have some more.
With a sense of what weight is,
Im always heavy into everything.
If you join me, we can exercise our senses,
If you're into that type of thing.
It's not in my DNA,
But it's in the bloodstream of my thoughts;
These habits flow.
I can't resist.
I can't let go.
I need it now.
I need the soul.
Catch me if you can,
Let me know if you don't.
Let me go if you won't.
I already know it's a can't.
There's no helping myself..
They tried to make me go to rehab,
I just said no three times.
Who knows what their goal is..
I only know rhymes.


                                                                                         HOLIC.

& Think about me.
Wonder about me & daydream about me.
Nightdream about me & ponder about me.
Never forget me,
I'm an important person to remember;
I feel.
And whenever it is you do remember me,
it should be like a train of thoughts, connecting the dots.
Don't deny what you feel, and what your conscience talks.
I should be at the front lines of whatever it is you're fighting.
Don't it look different when you take the depth from the lighting ?
No,
It's not too much to do.
Remember me..
'Cause I've remembered you a lot.
I've thought about you so much.
The memory of me is almost real.
There's a faint line between me actually being there,
and me being there.
Who knows..
Maybe if you're on my mind a bit,
we can actually live.
Say hi and see into each other.
Feel upon each other.
And be about each other.
.. I plan to live.
But first,
you have to remember me..
Think about me & wonder about me.
Daydream & nightdream about me.
Ponder about me & never forget me.

Remember me.

I promise that I'm so passionate, time can't even discourage me.
Strong words for a young person, but it's hard not to say when I see my future flourishing.
My ambition and focus are not imaginary, they're realized -
With everything I do and everything I think.
After all, a man's life is what his thoughts make of it.
I have goals that have already been reached, time just needs to develop.
There's no stressing me, my head isn't the kind that would swell up.
But ****** ! I'm full of anxiety.
I'm suited up perfectly, but where is the propriety ?
Howard Miller have the decency to say hi to me -
With so many clocks, yet there still is no variety.
I'm a few steps back looking forward, in the distance.
With a sense of tomorrow in the past, for resistance.
If you don't want to, I'm gonna force you to acknowledge my whole being, every feeling, every breath, & entire existence.
My life isn't measured by time, but by the inches.
By my Love, & my shoes, & my intentions..
And by my own two cents, i have extended.
Looking up to the Heavens, makes me calm.
Knowing God has me on his mind, he puts me on.
The power of myself, lies within Bonita Applebaum.

Can't Touch This.

God,
I ask you:

To bless my love and the love of my family..
Bless my fathers eyes,
to see the good.
Good like in your word.
His mind,
to know the good.
My mothers strength,
to always stay enduring.
Her heart,
to compliment and support my fathers love,
so together,
they can love good.
My eldest brothers perspective,
to think good, consider good,
and rid the bad.
His habits,
to become good,
and to compliment new initiative in his life.
Bless my second eldest brother's focus,
to be a constant,
and good progress.
His words,
to have strong,
good legs.
My sisters priorities,
to have discipline in their order.
Her attitude,
to be sweet,
and good.
Bless my application,
to be precise and timely,
in goodness.
My fight,
to be with you..
and good.
Us siblings,
to be wise with our parents..
All of our lives, for as a whole family,
to live good.
Bless each and every one of our souls,
to soul good.
For you,
God,
are true beauty.

..And true beauty,
is on the inside.. Amen

I stay still in wind.
I move in air.
My hardest I try,
To not just float anywhere.
If I cut my heart out,
Would anyone care ?
If I threw it into life,
Could anyone bare ?
That I will do anything,
To have motion in air.
In it, I breathe, exhale and stare.
I've been trying to escape the current.
Its ripped and torn holes in the jeans that I wear.
Truth is you can run against the flow,
I dare.
I run alongside wind,
But never actually in it.
The air is so much better,
As long as I can see the finish.
I run to the top of the mountain.
To the edge of the view.
Where I can see the earth pumping it's essence,
With Love from my heart.
I'll forever forget the wind,
For trying to send us apart.
See, I don't hear what i don't want to just sitting in the air.
But it all blows on to you,
With the winds whispering in your ear.
Unlike the wind, to the air,
i stick.
It's always there for me,
so the promise is always thick.
I desire a bond,
that can do what a band-aid does.
The hardest of what i find:
Desire of motion is needed for sound.
.. With that,
I,
can promise you this:

If I ever decide to move in wind,
i'll blow on a flute.

I feel the dirt,
and it's not as easy as washing it off to get rid of it.
It's been piling for years
up, in, and around me.
It's in my nails,
and I feel it pumping in my blood.
But worst of all,
I hear it in love.
It makes my attention weary.
And as I'm in the midst of it's dirtiness,
all I can think of is how I can put more strength into asking God how do get rid of it..
'cause I can't stop it.
But I won't stop trying,
it's not worth another option.
I'm no super hero,
so who believes dirt doesn't shine ?
Because i can see,
That It's glaring in your eyes.
Memories don't live like people do.
So just like that,
the ocean lives in my living room.
I sure hope I can fall into it while I throw myself around.
.. At least to cool off.
And why deal with the problems,
when you could just deal with the symptoms right ?
Throw it to the back of my conscious for the time being ?
I hate having to do that.
I hate living with dirt.
It's like a secret, mostly.
We talk about it cautious.
I think of it, grossly.
Even though it hangs, closely.
When it is in mood,
you'll hear it.
Somewhat ghostly.
This has got me shaking my head a lot.
Crap out of luck.
Like some average Joe smuck.
Like I can buy it.
But I'm crap out of a buck.
Life is a storm,
It won't miss me if I duck.
It tempts my strength to soften over time;
i just won't have that on my watch.
Dirt belongs only in certain places,
on the footprints of your guilty traces & in the past of professional escapists.
Usually on the end of a pick.
Life is a garden I hope you can dig.

Joe Dirt said we just gotta keep on,
keepin' on.

Have you ever seen the pockets ?
My thoughts sit inside my sockets.
I only see when i feel.
Only, feel is as heavy as steel.
So when i walk i put my hands inside them.
Pen searching the sky's.
For something deep.
Patience makes man wise.
So does defeat.

I see them all the time.
Its just Pockets full of nothing.
Every now and then its just Pockets full of money.
Full of fear, envy, and sloth, so they never see it sunny.
Pockets full of red-handed people i see you running.
Keep reaching, keep reaching, now it's hard to find it.
So used to throwing your trash in there, never never mind it.
Set yourself unconscious, welcome to the blinded.

Pockets used for hiding.
Take cover from the lightning.
Big pupil needs tightening.
Why is it important for us to have these ?
I want my surroundings to be a product of me, that's why i pick 'em good.
Mine capture your focus and entitle your attention.
I use my pockets wisely, hence the quantity of tactic.
Pockets full of holes. I've seen Pockets full of acid.
I keep notes to myself in there. Reminders and prayers.
Usually it's secrets and worldly thrills that make the pairs.

Stick my hand down in deep to grab and ****** whatever is left in their.
Other peoples Pockets.