I told her that she looked pretty today.
she scoffed and continued on with doing her
makeup in the mirror.
her smile slowly began to inch upon her face
beaming back at me in her reflection.
pools of hazel, honey I am home.
she cared so much...
her sovereignty lied in the depths of words
--commonly not mine.
I often wished she could see herself
the way that I saw her.
it felt like it was always 13:1
a constant losing battle
I knew I wasn't going to be enough

I think it is more of laying in bed with a person
you are no longer in love with and searching
for every reason to stay as they each
dissipate before your eyes...
everything once admirable now sending
you into a deep dark you've never discovered.
knowing all of it I stay,
I know sooner or later
I'd turn into you..

I can feel the presence of a person in
the room before I even open my eyes.
it often makes it hard to sleep at night.
I can not have a roommate.
I do not have a roommate.
I have always flinched a little harder than I
should -even as a child
I actual prefer to drive in silence
I hate for music to take the
space of my thoughts.
I check my watch four times
one for time
one for heart rate
one for time
one for heart rate
I am timid around alcohol
I retrain from partaking,
it reminds me of February-
I do not like the month of February.
I check my mirrors four times.
center, right, left, center
I write more than I could ever say.

I know why the moon chases the earth
with the smallest rotations -
staying far but never quite moving on
the pull is just too strong to leave
waiting for an eclipse just so they can pass
each other one more time and remember
who they used to be

Just like mom and dad
she was tired
she put on a smile
just like her parents
she cried quietly
drawing with pens of silver
not like her parents
finally herself
creating a level of hatred
that only she would have

only she could know

prized possessions