Behold! And see, my friends! ‘Tis me,
Your knight of shining might!
The hero, the savior, and might I add,
The victor of many a fight.
But I regret my quota is set.
My fate may be too great,
All maidens saved, all dragons slain.
There is no one left to sate.
“So I leave at once, at last relieved!
My steed is all I need,”
Said I not half an hour before
The dire call to heed.
He ran about, a gentleman stout.
He said, “’Tis what I dread!
My cat, I fear, has climbed a tree,
A tree just overhead!”
With lightning speed, I left my steed.
With glee, I slammed the tree.
The oak did shake, and the cat did drop.
Hard? I disagree.
Further forth, I reached Far North,
A town so well renown.
There, a girl beckoned and said,
“That boy there stole my gown!”
With hefty sigh, I did reply,
And found the thief unsound.
He found himself within a cell.
‘Tis why I’m so renowned!
And as I rode along the road,
I met a widow beset,
Beset by hordes of harmless hares.
She feared the furry threat.
Hesitantly, I helped, you see,
And shooed the hares’ adieu.
She thanked me so, but I cared not,
For tired of this I grew.
And on my horse, I heard, of course,
A speech to me beseeched.
I rushed to the aid of a man who said,
“Open this can o’ peaches.”
“Egad! “ I yelled, “You’re hopping mad
Bar none! Why, everyone!”
I shan’t go on! Certainly not!
My work is said and done!”
A large mob came, cried my name,
And prayed I’d come to aid.
I did refuse, and while I slept,
I saw not the dragon’s raid.
I saw the town a crispy brown
And shrugged with smile smug.
“T’was not a very memorable sight,
But its beds were rather snug.”
I called my steed of noble breed.
“Stew, there’s much to do!”
But I heard not a whinny back:
The dragon ate him too.
Dedicated to everyone who endured all those pointless side quests in RPGs