all I wanted was one night to give you your birthday gift.
a gift of no hard value just a gift from my heart a place I shared everything with you from the start.
you had your chance and you replied
I dont care
now im ******* standing on the edge of my heart with fragile words shattered cutting at the insides each time it beats on your eyelids so you can open them and see.
my feet are trembling with a 40 in my hand, residue in my nasal and a memory of what you used to be.
I loved and cared for you even when you were cold I hope you realise I hope you realise ihopeyoufuckingrealise how you acted when I fought for you and how you treated me.
all i have left of you is your faded late night words, the demons that follow, your fears, your memories and stories about your mother.
I told you if I ever lost you I'd write every night until my fingers bled and made the air next to me less hollow.
you were the only person that ever knew me and the only woman I spent hours painting.
your skin was my favorite surface, the highs you gave me and the words you fed me no drug I could ever purchase will make me feel like the way you did, not even the euphoria I get from raving.
your hand electrified mine when you led me through the crowd that night.
the bass shook our hearts in unison and I saw something different in you.
the reason I loved holding your hand so much was because I was inscribing poems onto your hands but now that you left, my words turned to cracks and I could never quite grasp love the same way again.