It’s like when...
you sense the waning spark beneath her touch.
She is next to you in flesh,
The sheets have taken on her scent,
Her presence has engulfed yours.
she is here and she is gone.
You watch her drift away,
you have lost your power
to reach her,
To touch her deeply,
To hold her soul within the most intimate folds of your own so she can cry in peace.
You hold on, sometimes to nothing.
One day, you realize it has all slipped away.

Its like that...
Its the same kind of losing pieces of yourself when relationships burn and gray.
Its the same whirlwind of spinning thoughts that torture our souls and self worth.
Its the same solitary void;
Empty.
Its the same pain in your chest when you feel like you can’t breathe because your breath was her breath
was my breath
Was our breath
Its the same feeling of betrayal and wondering;
if you ever knew her at all,
If you ever even knew yourself.

Its not charged by ***,
It’s not impassioned by lust.
Its resilient to volatility,
Its not manipulated.
Its steady. Its imperfect.
Its not pressurized by labels or condemned by society, most of the time.
Its organic, it’s honest.
It fuels community, and community follows.
It inspires and it moves.
Its not romantic,
Its love.

So believe me when I say it means nothing less than the world to me,
and understand that I may cry.
I may run
I may hide,
I will probably go wild.

And forgive me,
If my punches graze you,
and my words betray my heart with flames;
If I am half-hearted and slow to breathe,
if I give you all my worst as I fight the inevitable,

resisting,
denying,
losing myself to what I fear most-

Feeling you slip away.

in a moment, we awaken.
those passing glimpses of your eyes
right as they meet mine.
unspoken, gone; yet shared.

a simple understanding - I am enough,
my heart overflows and floods my eyes with rivers.

the wisdom of a child,
the freedom of a blank page,
the proximity of two hearts in one hug,
the moments in between the moments.

Nirvana is not reserved exclusively for gods.
it is impermanence, it is mortality.
it is the flow of life when we dive in;
a precious sequence of experiences that align when we let go.
grasping is fear,
being is brave.

The coward,
he flees at first light.
His strides
as quiet as his convictions.
He fears life,
the infinite unknown,
vicissitudes of pleasure and pain.
So he runs.
Rather than open
to the spectrum of bliss and chaos,
the marvels and madness,
the inescapable interplay of yin and yang;
he closes his door to the world.
He is armored by illusion -
a mask made of clouds,
a defiant independence.
His silhouette fades into the distance.
He can carry only
the weight of emptiness.

The brave man
stays to fight.
Even if the battle is gone,
he faces the truth.
Amidst loss and pain,
he leans in, heart-first;
to hear the final echoes,
to feel the lonely silence -
of something once born,
now dead.
He breathes the time and space of the past into his lungs,
his bones,
his blood,
his being.
In his exhale resides the sun.
Slowly,
with each new breath,
he dusts the soil with gold.
Resilience,
love,
humanity,
grow from the ashes
within.

someday
what I want to be mine
you will also want to be yours.
and it's not about [it doesn't matter]
to whom we belong;
simply that we belong together, to each other.
Our souls, our lives, as free as they are intertwined.
Perhaps time will be the victor, yet again.
Like missing the last train of the night
stranded alone at the platform watching the lights of what was supposed to be your ticket to love fade into a growing darkness, an unknowable distance.
Vanishing
as if it never existed.
Is it wrong to think, to hope, that love is exempt from the ephemeral nature of all things?
For how can something that rubs you so raw,
touches you so deeply,

be
no longer.

These are all we have.
Fleeting, elusive pockets of our lives, passing swiftly;
coming and going in a space we like to call time.
Just like that one time, you leaned across the table and kissed me mid-sentence, as light as a whisper, but with a depth I could feel,
even,
at the very edges of my lips touching yours.
[I never heard your response, but I felt it]
A small moment.
An overflow of trash spills down the side of what was once a pristine mountain,
a waterfall of multi-colored plastic meets a forest path over-tread by humans.
A single careless deposit by one person
becomes all people
is our world
(our environment).
and I
am the same
as you.
We are the mountain.
We are the spores of litter infilitrating creeks, rivers, ocean, land, sky.
I am the ocean, you are the sea
and the point is.
It doesn't matter.
The point is:
distinction is illusory, destruction is real.

My heart stops;
vociferously, unexplainably.
As if to say, wait -
heed closely this road.
There are few for whom this depth I will fall; so far,
as to halt the steady drum beat of my breath, your breath.
As I listen, I feel.
When I'm with you, my heart smiles in the corners of yours.
The single point of your touch awakens every pore in my body.
I am yours and you are mine;
Your words, my words,
reverberate through my ears and echo through the mountain passes of my dreams;
a whisper growing louder every time our energies enmesh.
It is a fleeting moment in time, a whimsical rush.
But in your eyes I see a lifetime in a second.
I see the fall, but not the ground.
Within seconds, your love has entangled mine, so tightly,
an endless knot that will outlive the remainder of our days.

Send me to love
bring me to its doors
to explore, to stay
to leave me wanting more.
Accept even my sores
dragging behind collecting dust from the floor.
I am this, this is it,
what stands now before
amidst your gaze, upon your shores
seeks something of kind
that no trade can afford.
Born of passion, of heart,
did this seed find its start.
To bloom, to grow,
into wonders unknown.