I want love.

Hand holding, eye smoldering, heart folding love.

I want someone to fall in love with my nose, the embarrassing pimple that grows, the stuttering word that flows clumsily out of my butterfly-filled mouth.

Fall in love with my bare face, the way my hair is never in place, the sound of my heartbeat as it loves to race when I breathe in your deoxygenated air as your lips dance eagerly across mine.

Take me to the future where your favorite song will be my jagged laugh, not the sound of my keys as they type “lol” on my mouth’s behalf.

I mean, take me back to the past back when relationships would actually last, so that I can yell at you on the park, as opposed to typing “I HATE YOU” exclamation mark.

Fall in love with the touch of my soft palm, the way that I get angry but always remain calm; and I’ll fall in love with your precious words, as we soar through the sky like love birds.

Imagine us flying, standing on the porch crying, being exceedingly scared of losing the only one that’s ever cared.

Fall in love with my voice rather than the arrangement of my sentences sculpted into emotionless bodies on a screen.

Tell me that you hate my profile picture because the lifeless image captures not the breathtaking beauty of my flawless imperfections.

Substitute your ****** with a dagger and pierce me in the eye agonizingly slow. Stare into my soul as you go in for the ****, to verify that your choice still remains at execution.  

I want to kiss the creases of your brow as they spill emotion all over your anxious face as we sing our first “I love you”.

I want you to wipe my tears away as we split paths and wave at our hearts as they whisper their final goodbyes.

And when I look back on our amazing journey, I want to remember you and your words better than my inbox ever will.

I’m tired of watching.

Gaping at this cinematic reality as it slowly sinks into my sensitive skin like hot rocks on a not-so-relaxing Sunday morning.

Disappointment after disappointment, I tap my foot with impatience, awaiting a ship that never docks, yet instead, tantalizes me as it nears the harbor but changes its course midway.

I’m limp, dangling over the wishing well in my bathroom that swallows as I heave; attempting to rid my body of all my pathetic hopes and expectations and watch as they are flushed down the toilet.

You are a dagger and I have closed my eyes, preparing myself to die; allowing my flesh to surround your malicious blade as you pierce agonizingly through my shattering heart.

I am (or was) a majestic sailboat and you are a bulwark placed dangerously in my path, resulting in a complete wreckage causing my sail to sink miserably to the bottom of the ocean.

Tired of seeing.

Watching each face blossom with happiness as my stems overflow with jealousy; I stare at the reflection of my forlorn face, painfully plucking each of my withering petals and allowing them to fall to the ground in defeat.

Feeling my chakras disintegrate as my large intestine absorbs my heart that melted at the sight of your hands entwined with ones that aren’t mine.

I’m suffocating, gasping for air as I hug myself until I am strangling my waist, searching for that comforting lungful of compassion.

Tired of noticing.

Releasing my last breath, I let go. Allowing my body to be consumed by the numbness that started at my heart as it froze.

“The Sun does not share a torrid love affair with the Moon; For she shares it with the Earth”*

The Sun is in love with the Earth as I am in love with you.

She gives him life; It is she that breathes energy into his being.

She loves the Earth from afar, admiring his dreamy blue aura that causes her cheeks to flush golden.

She watches him.

Ensures that he encounters no harm.

Sending kisses in rays that travel through the wind, allowing them to rest upon his hallowed shores.

She understands that if she dares to draw nearer to her lover, he would be obliged to fall into Death's abysmal arms.

Thus, she continues to feed him each day in secrecy, ensuring that her love always shines on a part of him, providing his day with light, despite the darkness that swallows his alternative hemisphere.

Mother Sun allows herself to suffer at a lonesome because her lover teaches her to be selfless, rewarding her with his growth.

The Sun forcefully shines brighter with each passing day because that’s what love does, it urges us to strive to become better than we are.

In return, Father Earth orbits her resoundingly, because he too understands that she truly is life itself.

And because of this.. the Soul of my Universe falls silent and is peaceful.