I'll pretend that was your way of dropping a hint
And cling on to it like kindergarteners do to their parents on the first day of school
I'll probably hold on for dear life for a while
But before long I'll realize school isn't so bad, and the rest of the world still has a lot to offer,
so I'll  let go and never look back again,
Almost as if I've forgotten you,
But then you'll come back
And I'll run up to you and jump in your arms as if I've been gazing out the window the whole time, waiting for your return

Until next time, my friend

Sleeping with your arms around me,
And your breath on the back of my neck,
The warmth of your body
Replacing my need for any blanket
The way my hair completely drowns you,
But you don't mind
I jolt awake at the usual feeling of falling
But your arms remind me
That there will always be someone,
Something holding on to me,
Even when my body has stopped fighting gravity.

Your lips gently whisper
Good morning upon my cheek
And I'm reminded that
no matter what happens today,
Tomorrow morning will begin
The same way.
And that makes everything okay.

I wanted to capture every minuscule detail of that fifteen minute time frame and lock it away in a time capsule deep in the corners of my brain where the deterioration of memory couldn't get to it.

how your lips felt against mine
the slight scratch of stubble I felt against my chin
how soft the skin of your back felt on my fingertips
how happy I was in that moment
the moment I'd dreamt of for years

I wanted to stay in that moment forever.

i want to hate her

i want to hate her
because she had you first.
if the roles were reversed
i wonder if she would want to hate me too

i want to hate her
for still being around
and making me feel like the rebound
i wonder if she even knows about me and you

i want to hate her
because she makes me feel so inferior
and not just because of her exterior
i wonder if she's still the one you turn to

i want to hate her
but I know she's the one with the heart ache
when we met, she complimented my hair, for christ's sake
she's so nice I wish I could call her fake
but that would be a mistake.
i wonder if i'll ever get used to
the fact that she's the one i will never be able to outdo.

i want to hate her
but i can't
and that makes me hate
her even more.


*when did i become so pathetic.

this might not make any sense,
but when does our subconscious ever?

we were young. maybe like 13,
and you had these amazing eyes, that just looked into mine and knew everything about me and understood every fiber of my being.

we were at a pool party type thing.

but when all this was happening it seemed like it was just the two of us.

you were dragging me down under water, down down down

but you were staring into my eyes and smiling, and i felt safe.
you wouldn't let me drown

we were trying to find something, well i felt like we were trying to find something, but you were just looking at me. looking into my eyes without a care in the world.

we kept swimming deeper and deeper and i was thinking we were getting pretty deep and should be running out of air,

and i was at the bottom of the pool, still looking for something and you swam away
and pulled two other girls under water but just barely,
not as deep as you dragged me,
and they resurfaced in minutes

for a second i thought you would leave me down there,
but you didn't, you came back just as i was thinking i was really running out of air, but you grabbed my hand and the loss of air didn't seem like a problem anymore.

and you stared into my eyes with those smiling eyes and my eyes were smiling back and deep down i was scared i would drown, but you still hadn't a care in the world. so neither did i

you were pulling me up, up, up
and finally we broke the surface and i gasped for air
and i realized just how out of breath i was

and i was hyperventilating, taking in the air, realizing how close i really was to drowning
and you asked me,
you never came up for air?

and i dont know exactly what i said,
if i said anything,
but it was something like
i was waiting for you to come back for me.

i
don't
think
i
have
ever
wanted
anything
more
than
i
want
     ­                     *you

what if i'm not actually real
what if i'm just a figment of your imagination

*it's okay, because i'm happy you exist, even if it's just in my head

green
like your eyes.
a shade of green
i had never seen
before i met you.
it truly is a beautiful hue.

green
like st. patty's day
when we were so close
and i wanted you most
but you were so gone
you would've forgotten by dawn.

green
like the grass
on the other side
where we collide
and wonder why
we waited so long to try.

never knew that green
would ever mean
so much to me.
i wonder if blue
has a similar meaning for you.

I pray
                   
                     everyday


That I [haven't] met
                                           

                   ­                         You yet

Because

[if I have]


You are          
                                                              f­  a  i  l  i n  g



       to

                           S.P.A.R.K.

                                                        my interest