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paige May 2013
i saw a rainbow today.
and i wanted to cry
because of how pleasing
it was to the eye

i wished it was the first
rainbow i ever saw,
so i could experience
a rainbow for the first time in awe.

and then i tried to remember
the first time i saw such a beautiful sight
and i couldn't remember it.
my memory was contrite

i couldn't remember, can't remember,
where i was,
how i felt,
who i was with,
if it made my heart melt.

i can't remember how amazed i was
or if i was amazed at all

did i even care?
did i even begin to realize
just how remarkable that display was?
the display
of such an array
of colors
strewn across a pale blue sky
almost like dye

and did i even begin to realize
what it really meant?
that the clouds can pour out all that they have
down to the very last drop,
drowning the earth
and all its inhabitants
and yet,
as the ground tries to
recover from this flood,
the sky can display something
more beautiful than my
young, developing brain
could've ever imagined.

did my reaction give that first rainbow
the recognition it deserved?
why hadn't my memory
worked harder to keep it preserved?

did that rainbow
ever get to know
just how beautifully
it glowed?

i hope it did.

cause everyone
needs to hear
how beautiful they are.
especially you, my dear
rainbow.
paige May 2013
but what if
i don't want
to forget

what if
i don't want
to stay
just friends

what if
i told you it's
all i can think about

what if
i told you
that
even when i sleep
i can't stop thinking
about it

because even
in my dreams
i can't escape you.
paige May 2013
i had a dream last night.

you said,

can you just be holding my hand all the time?
paige May 2013
I wanted to capture every minuscule detail of that fifteen minute time frame and lock it away in a time capsule deep in the corners of my brain where the deterioration of memory couldn't get to it.

how your lips felt against mine
the slight scratch of stubble I felt against my chin
how soft the skin of your back felt on my fingertips
how happy I was in that moment
the moment I'd dreamt of for years

I wanted to stay in that moment forever.
paige May 2013
Stopped up thinking about the
shoulda
coulda
woulda

I should've told you how I felt
I should've followed through with all the promises I made to myself
I should've taken more chances

I could've changed the ending to our story
I could've been thin and beautiful and full of confidence
I could've stolen that kiss when I thought I had the chance

I would've had the relationship I used to lie awake thinking about
I would've been happier and healthier and turning heads
I would've lived without the what ifs that now loom around my thoughts

but then again,
You should've told me what I meant to you before it was too late.
I could've been perfect, but it still wouldn't have been good enough for you.
I would've been caught up with someone that wasn't right for me

and that's why what I should've done isn't what I did
and how I could've been isn't what my reflection shows
because what would've been isn't the way it was supposed to be.
paige Apr 2013
Sleeping with your arms around me,
And your breath on the back of my neck,
The warmth of your body
Replacing my need for any blanket
The way my hair completely drowns you,
But you don't mind
I jolt awake at the usual feeling of falling
But your arms remind me
That there will always be someone,
Something holding on to me,
Even when my body has stopped fighting gravity.

Your lips gently whisper
Good morning upon my cheek
And I'm reminded that
no matter what happens today,
Tomorrow morning will begin
The same way.
And that makes everything okay.
paige Apr 2013
Dying
Eyes
Hide
Behind
The
Shine
Of
Fake
Glimmering
Smiles.
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