Our biggest problem till date has been trust. This trust i speak of need not pertain to interpersonal relationships, but in time.
We need time. I need time. And space. And energy and resources to function like a well oiled machine.
Sure i crack and crumble. Sure i crush like wafer thin ice on a frozen river. Sure it doesnt take much to push me down, for my buoyancy is only as strong as my will power and that is saying A LOT.
But like wax in a new mould, i build myself up again. Like a retrofitted structure, i extrude steel stanchions and girders within me. The frail brick facade does not fail me, only makes it lighter.
But none without patience. And no patience without the trust in myself, that i can get through this.
We fail to trust the system. The system that puts a government in our hands, which in turn chooses to sit on our backs with the engine on full throttle. We fail to notice our power, a democracy is nothing if not as easily disbanded as bound together.
We fail to trust our instincts. They help reboot the system when error 404 shows you the exit door. Trust them, for they come from within. The aura and the energy never lies.
Spread this energy for it emancipates negative from within.
Finally, we fail to trust our body. Which direction but down, would the body go, if the mind is all you listen to all day long? Trust your body to repair the damges you do at the minds behest. Trust your body to signal you when you go wrong. And listen when the signal blinks. Because frankly, you miss the signal and there is no looking back.
We need one another, sure. But what we do need the most is ourselves. Its easy to run away and forget things ever existed. What’s difficult is to stay put.
So trust me when i say this, the only way out, is through.

Before I save you, I have to save myself.
A journey with a drink, travelling for a morbid farewell.
Before I rescue a stranger, I have to save myself.

My sister was wrong, I am not the most confident and beautiful person she has known.
Before i blame someone else, I have to blame myself.

My love never left me, she knew my worth more than I ever did. She gave me her oxygen, when i blew out mine, in balloons of unnecessary nostalgia.
Before i forget her curses, I have to forget my sins.

Of all the friends who left, some held on tighter. "I told you so" was never an option, they danced my worries away. My sisters now. Family always.
Before I cry for those I lost, I must praise the ones who stayed.

I remember less and less about happy memories, but only things I regret. Things that left dusted into the wind.
Before I raise hell, I need to raise myself.

Singers, songwriters, lyricists, all of them gave me words i needed to sew this piece together. A new reign must now arise.
Before I praise myself, I must eulogize those before me.

Looking back 10 years , I see regret as much as i see satisfaction as much as i see the work of an over-bearing brute.
So before I take someone's life, I must first lay down my own.

Of all the strange things i could be, i chose to be normal
Normal is merely a word, together some came and produced,
Normal is nothing but a state of mind, when there is nothing left to reproduce.

Of all the diverse things i could be, i chose to be sane.
Sane is that phase of life, i believe we when numbness takes over,
Rationalising a decision, proving a point,
Its always to sound a bit clever.

Of all those brilliant things i could be, i chose to be a liar.
Liars are cowards and they ***** your mind,
For truth is the spear of a brave soul,
There is always a peculiarly kind.

Of all silent feelings i thought i could feel, i chose to feel upset.
Sadness is the trail of a suppressed opinion,
Its an irrational feeling, driving your madness into oblivion.

But of all the things i thought i could say, i chose to say zilch.
Silence is deadly when used as a shield.
Silence is terrible when projected as a glitch in time.
If there ever was a time to say anything, it was then,
Silence of all things, was my only crime.