Your room, clouded with cigarette smoke,
Old pizza, leftovers, and last night's ****.
Whiskey and beer had stained your white rug,
I'll never comprehend why you looked so smug.
I didn't do anything to deserve your fist,
Your open hand, your rage, your Vulcan grip.
I begged you to stop, I pleaded for release,
But your hand was tight, 'til we called the police.
You resisted arrest and claimed you were sober,
Mom cried and sobbed, I only could hold her.
There was no fixing what you had done,
You beat me and bruised me and emptied my lungs.

Everyone told me I did nothing wrong,
But the nightmares shook me like a gong.
They kept me awake 'til the break of dawn,
I'll never know what brought this on.
Your mind has changed since you bumped your head,
And the brother I once had is dead.

he loves me, he loves me not.
Now that I'm used, I'm feeling the rot.
he claimed he was ready, wanted to love.
It's clear he was lying. Tears flood,
My vision blurred,
My heart deterred.
Now that I'm free,
I could fly like a bird.

But, I'm broken and used, I've been thrown away,
Now I sit, bleed and pray,
that someone, oh, anyone will tell me I'm worth it.
Fix me, love me, cover the slits.

I don't want this life, the mutilation and blood.
No sleeve or stitch can cover what's done.
Awake and bleeding, my skin feels hot.
I tell myself, "he loves me not."

As a child colors pages,  
You so fill me with love.
My heart, once shattered,
A Light from above.
The Light was dim,
I had left all hope,
Left all of my dreams,
Looking for rope.

But you, oh, you,
Brought color back in.
Like sunsets, springtime,
And international skin.
Before, so empty.
Dark lines on a page.
You released me from Darkness,
Rescued me from my cage.
So color, Love. Color me in.
Smile that smile
That covers my sin.