don't forget to stir
otherwise it all goes down bitter

and the very last
              bit
is almost too sweet
to swallow

******* Then/Take The ******* Sun With You (Tongue In Cheek)

here's to
ugly green envy

and hot water from blackened and forgotten pots
boiling over onto things you thought were clean

second place ribbons are usually red
they're all i ever win
or lose anyways

so i'll knit myself a scarf from a hundred of the fibers
and when i've clawed at my neck and started to bleed
no one will be able to tell red from red
dead from dead

what's that there in your hand

it's nothing

less the gaping cavity in my sternum says otherwise

leave it to the espresso machine
to laugh at my loneliness

a *** is meant for two
not one
not three

can't you see what i'm trying to do
it's about ******* time you knew

so cold it's almost hot
your face an apparition in the backyard lot

broken glass above snow above grass

stick it to me

with false pretenses and fluttering lashes

waylaid kisses and promises of breakfast

eight ante meridiam

cinnamon toast in the solarium

i'm not much different than the mutt basking on a chaise opposite

rather than think:
i miss you

i say,
i'd rather not

fists like a side of raw meat,

these streets creak with downtrodden snow

(words) hands bent on leaving you breathless

your heart an abandoned model home
i'd invited myself into...

all that matters then
forgiving yourself for those moments

force feeding yourself caffeine to stay awake for that eclipse
you watched all your lonesome clouding the moon red

an apology to my urges
forgive me for being alone

what use are such soft lips
if you kiss
even the most beautiful words
so brusquely

i
sure,

it may be possible to wash the sweat off
but you stay long after

ii**
and regret leaves a stench much worse

shaving means mirrors
and seeing your eyes in mine

making it more difficult for those throwaway razors
with a face that's furrowed

I
tin cups become cold the fastest, with breath distracted by air more or less filling with smoke
i've got to stop picking such nostalgic scents, they stick to the wrists of all my coats
and when I go to wipe my nose, my mother's right beside me
really she's those hundred miles away
dancing one step
or two closer to my new room
but then one step
or two back towards home


II**
it's like this
roses and a
musk
settled in with old dust
she's not to share it with anyone
because it's swimming in streams with my platelets and memories

of black **** carpets howling at the kitchen door
a bed nestled in drawers
and iron gated windows crowded with fear

I
arrhythmia,
the crocodile surface of this steamer trunk as irregular as my breathing
hurried while my fingertips run over the ridges of words or a beat of my heart
everyone's felt it once before,
in jealousy.
when your teeth scoured the valley of his upper lip

II**
weightless were the days you called me darling
and abandoned your clothes beneath my sheets
don't forget it was me who cooled your legs
keeping veins from throbbing with a fever from our tension
and skin from clamoring for more attention