Empty walls and conversations with myself
Analyzing memories of tea stains on my denim shirt.

I used to perform rituals of loneliness
as I danced around a clock
Counting my steps until midnight
My footprints fit into minutes

But time stopped around mid-day
while the sun was at its peak
With your hand in my pocket
I'll give it no room for air
...I'll give it no room to breathe

i've casted a spell
so that one day a small portion of something will be mine
whether it be a heart or a continent
it doesn't really matter to me
as long as it is yours or you are there.

We didn't applaud for the performance in front of us
Because that would mean letting go of what we held onto
So we sat in silent appreciation
Not only for the show,
but for the moment we lived in that was real.

I don't know what I'm looking at
a masterpiece of acoustic vision in front of my eyes
but for all I had known
there were trap doors slamming themselves
shut, letting off dust into the crystal air

For all I had known
this freckle on my kneecap is a trickling spider
making its way over the hill
because it's been climbing so long it's footsies
are blistering and it just wants to
freefall into nothing.

For all I had known those voices of
children outside are trapped in my head
They don't exist because nothing is real
and nothing is real because it's safer fake

For all I know now is all I knew then
It's just altered and makes sense now
because I know what opportunities I left
to die dry
because I didn't water them with tears
I made an ocean instead.

I've given up
on good mornings
and now everything
is only a
hello