“Why’d you do it?”
Is what they all keep asking me.
I tell them “I don’t know”,
But in reality:
I drank for many reasons;
Because it made me understand love.
I married Mary-Jane
To take my stress away.
I swallowed diphenhydramine,
Pill after pill,
So I could have friends there even if they weren’t real.
Three or more Dramamine to shut down my mind,
Wrong-wired,
But it only succeeded in making me all the more tired.
Ten dollars for happiness was a deal to me;
Who knew it was out in the world for free?
I went from riches to rags in wealth and character
And lost myself to all my self-terror.
Lines of white like snow on the ground
To let others know I wanted to be found.
A small pill full of a deadly drug,
Gone, all because I needed a hug.
Six-to-eight or three-to-four,
I was an inch away from knocking on Death’s door;
The pillows in my head made me blind to the horror.
Molly without music to make music in my mind,
An escape from all my thoughts confined
To a space in my head where they didn’t fit
And now they’re everywhere,
So I’m taking a hit.
Bars to fall asleep not at but with,
Stronger than the pink tablets I was familiar with;
So strong they made me forget
About the only night I didn’t want to regret.
And yet every morning I awoke with an ache,
In my bones and my eyes because I made a mistake;
“It won’t happen again,” I said time after time,
But then it grew closer to a dozen a dime.
So why’d I do it?
I’d say it’s clear.
I had all my reasons,
But mostly it was fear.
Nov 5, 2025
Nov 5, 2025 at 2:37 PM UTC
“Why’d you do it?”
Is what they all keep asking me.
I tell them “I don’t know”,
But in reality:
I drank for many reasons;
Because it made me understand love.
I married Mary-Jane
To take my stress away.
I swallowed diphenhydramine,
Pill after pill,
So I could have friends there even if they weren’t real.
Three or more Dramamine to shut down my mind,
Wrong-wired,
But it only succeeded in making me all the more tired.
Ten dollars for happiness was a deal to me;
Who knew it was out in the world for free?
I went from riches to rags in wealth and character
And lost myself to all my self-terror.
Lines of white like snow on the ground
To let others know I wanted to be found.
A small pill full of a deadly drug,
Gone, all because I needed a hug.
Six-to-eight or three-to-four,
I was an inch away from knocking on Death’s door;
The pillows in my head made me blind to the horror.
Molly without music to make music in my mind,
An escape from all my thoughts confined
To a space in my head where they didn’t fit
And now they’re everywhere,
So I’m taking a hit.
Bars to fall asleep not at but with,
Stronger than the pink tablets I was familiar with;
So strong they made me forget
About the only night I didn’t want to regret.
And yet every morning I awoke with an ache,
In my bones and my eyes because I made a mistake;
“It won’t happen again,” I said time after time,
But then it grew closer to a dozen a dime.
So why’d I do it?
I’d say it’s clear.
I had all my reasons,
But mostly it was fear.
a poem about drug addiction and it's reasons.