#drugs
did the whiskey make you feel better,
even though it burned your throat?
you swear you're not like the other boys
who drink it and then gloat.
did the hand-rolled joints make you feel cool,
even though your mouth tastes like ****
you swear you aren't addicted,
you just don't want to quit.
did the things you did too young
help your life at all?
you did drugs, broke your heart, and hurt yourself
when you were still way too small.
3d ago
May 31, 2026 at 2:28 AM UTC
The pain starts hot,
Sharp,
Electric,
A stab in my nerves,
Violent and jarring.
Then it fades to a dull ache,
Simmering at a constant.
White noise in my bone marrow.
Tv static between my tendons.
It never quite leaves,
Just rises and falls,
Crashes and ebbs.
My biggest fear is it will never go away,
Completely.
I take a pill,
Something small, over the counter.
It doesn't fix anything.
Then another,
Doubling the dose,
The recommended max is a suggestion,
After all.
It's no respite from the feeling of my knee
Collapsing upon itself, spinning, folding,
And tearing over and over again.
So, I take another pill,
Tiny, white, something stronger,
Prescription.
It doesn't fix anything,
It doesn't hit the same,
As it did the first time.
It's a cycle,
I get cold to it,
But the pain always starts hot.
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 5:04 AM UTC
My world is closing in
And I don’t know what to do
All light has turned to darkness
Distorting my whole view
Keep choosing the wrong path
I’m lost, I’ve lost my way
Don’t know my right from my left
Can’t keep my troubled thoughts at bay
Try hiding from my demons
But they’re lurking everywhere
I know the only way is up
But they’re hiding under the stairs
Every step I try to take
They’re grabbing at my feet
I try to kick and shake them off
Not ready to admit defeat
I see my end destination
The top step there in plain view
But I’m worried that my demons
Will stop me making it through
I need to learn to squash them
Or throw them to the sky
Need to leave them all behind me
But I won’t do it whilst I’m high
My demons want to control me
They’re doing a good job
Can’t let them ruin my chances
Need to tell them to bog off
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 7:48 PM UTC
You wake up in this world,
Your head feels numb,
Take a look around;
Trying to grasp what's been
And gone.
Eaten up by questions;
You want answers,
You want them now...
It's not always that simple.
Fresh Beginnings,
Brand new Start,
It sounds so easy;
In reality - it's hard.
I never wanted to feel like this,
My body's here,
However my mind?
It's in a Twist.
Drugs, drink, words and Actions.
People looking
Making their own Conclusions;
Life?
What's it to be?
How're we meant to lead it?
We make decisions,
Others may not agree with.
Thinking back to when I was young,
All those laughs I had,
That harmless fun.
They say "be careful
'Cause your life passes Quick"
How're you to know what they're talking about when you're only six?
Not every decision is right;
Not every choice Bright.
It's now I look back
On my life long Mistakes,
I look back to the path
That led me to this place.
Feeling stuck in the Fight,
With their beady eyes looking in.
Every choice has been made;
I wasn't ready to Learn.
I'm not going to lie,
I won't say it wasn't fun.
But they cast their judgement,
Without looking at themselves;
Their own faults or Misdirection;
So my bubble went up
For my own Protection.
Not to be sectioned
Or Questioned;
No hesitation
Or commiseration.
Just to be Stationed.
I'm patient.
I'm trying to believe all this.
It's hard to carry on;
How about I leave this ship...
I need to get a Grip.
I'm now at a point
Where I can look at my life,
It's time to decide,
I can no longer Hide.
Hide beneath Uncertainties,
Hide under Feelings;
Hiding from Me.
You see...
You can't run from yourself
And all you've Felt,
But you can open your eyes,
Take a deep breath
...And exhale.
You knew you were wrong,
You needed help
No one could help you;
Only yourself.
I don't believe in regrets,
The thought brings me down.
How can you learn?
You must look back,
Smile
And be
Proud
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 3:59 PM UTC
I have the Devil deep inside me
And he’s playing a cruel game
It’s my life ‘Vs’ his life and he’s
Fuelled by all my pain. A deal
I made many moons ago, I shook
His hand and let him know that
Life wasn’t all that it should be
I wanted out, I wanted
Peace. He raised his head then snarled a grin
Opened his arms then pulled me
In, loaned his eyes so I could see the
Deep Red of Eternity
White dust he sprinkled, fire and sparks. My
Life seemed meek in dull contrast
“I’ll give you life in turn for yours, with
One small price to pay of course.
I’ll take away each bowt of pain, I’ll
Teach you how to smile each day
You’ll fool them all, you’ll have good fun, you’ll
Laugh and dance under the sun
As time goes by you’ll grasp the chance to
Reacquaint with confidence
Walk hand in hand with me, you’ll see how
Easy it be, to exist
Carefree” - I knew that life could be much
Worse than all he’d painted with
His words; I was already giving
Up you see. I gave my hand
Reluctantly. He grasped it hard then
Pulled me tight. He stared so deep
Within my eyes that, soon enough I’d
Lost all sight and Line-by-Line
I’d lost my touch, with Magic dust I’d
Found my crutch. The pain subsides,
My soul was priced up Gram-by-Gram, the
Whirlpools spun me round ‘n’ round
And the Devil Cloned me as I drowned
A mind once mine was now half-
Owned. Shame so vast I could barely breath,
False Pretences filled with Greed
These days I walk by in two-halves, each
Day I fight I can hear him
Laugh. “You silly Fool did I not say?
“Addiction is the Price you’ll
Pay?! For everyday you thought you’d Won.
The endless Masks which you’d piled
On, to hide the pain to cheat the game
Avoid life’s lessons you’d made
In vain; with me you chose to spend your
Days. I have your hand. You gave
Your blood, blind-sighted tears because
You ******** Indulged in Drugs
You masked your pain and now I hear MY
Name in Vain as you Beg and
Pray for me to end the game. Such a
Naieve young fool you were back
Then to think that ‘I’ would be ‘your’ friend
Now day-by-day you’ll hear me
Laugh as you try to loosen up my
Grasp. With wide eyes on the prize are you
Surprised, that you hear me ROAR?!”
Don’t Fall down now as you run;
The Devils deal you should not have done!
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 9:45 AM UTC
in my own world
back to a calm place
things go so fast
with my heart in the race
all of my thoughts
their not at ease
wanting more drugs
i love how they tease
slipping out of place
feeling of spent
spending my days
forever and bent
pulled so far down
i can't find my soul
this rage taking over
til i lose self control
this life that i live
it's not the same
when the mixture is right
i'll go insane
just a bit more
a poke to engage
it's been way to much fun
while feeling this strange.....
May 21
May 21, 2026 at 9:07 PM UTC
Drugs,that's not what I asked for...
fucking words running around my head as try comprehend what I took to make me feel this way..fucked up and flustered at the thought of you ..smacking my face as I try to wake up from this never ending dream, gut wrenching feelings you call butterflies! is this what you call love. Got me Hooked on A substitute drug for those who want more...more than I could ever give you..or is it...I look away as i try to catch my breath,dying every time i look at you,scared to say a word as I cower back to my world , a world without you...
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 12:56 AM UTC
you drank your mom's whiskey out of a peeps mug,
but it left a bitter taste in your mouth,
so you ****** on a jolly rancher to make it stop.
your throat hurts like ****
but maybe this time,
it'll be enough to make everything stop hurting.
you smoked your older sister's joints behind your school,
but it left your clothes smelling like ****
so you sprayed yourself with perfume to cover it up.
you can't stop coughing,
but maybe this time,
you'll stop feeling.
you made out with a girl instead of going to class,
but her tongue tasted like sweat,
so you brushed your teeth with fruity toothpaste.
your gums are bleeding,
but maybe this time,
people will like you.
you did everything way too soon,
but why can't you stop?
it doesn't make anything feel better.
...
"please stop, Nobody
you're hurting yourself."
but maybe if i keep doing it
it'll start to feel good.
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 3:09 AM UTC
i've been dreaming about the bitter taste,
making me want to spit,
the burning in my throat,
but i'm still trying to quit
me and my dealer had a last hurrah,
he's finally moving away,
i'm going to miss his prices.
i wish he would stay.
the meds my doctors gave me
never made me feel the same,
i miss the high and i miss the numb,
but i guess i'm the one to blame
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 2:42 AM UTC
The wooden floor creaks.
i stumble, dazed, into the kitchen,
downstairs from my bedroom.
The buzzing light bulb
drowns my ears.
I don’t remember
turning the light on.
The room is cold,
but no windows are open.
a single cup of water
sits on the counter,
seemingly just there,
waiting for me
like routine.
I start seeing images—
people coming toward me,
laughing softly,
then shouting, screaming,
their faces swallowed
in shadow,
oddly familiar.
I remember their scars—
Their distorted laughter,
Like I have already been here.
I rush to the cup,
pour it over my face—
and wake up
on the kitchen floor,
sweating.
No cup.
No sound.
Only me and my mind.
Pitch black.
The lights are off.
How did I get here?
Is it all in my head?
Was it even a dream?
Those people seemed so real.
I think i know them.
I make myself a glass of water
and put it on the counter.
An empty bottle of pills
sits beside the sink
that I don’t remember finishing.
Suddenly, I hear footsteps
From upstairs.
The wooden floor creaks again.
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 10:59 PM UTC
they think it’s the smoke
I crave most
but it’s not
it’s the feeling after,
that soft untangling of the mind,
like the world finally loosens
its grip around my throat
like silence becoming warm enough
to sit beside,
some people fall in love
to feel less alone,
I light something instead
and watch the loneliness blur
at the edges.
the smoke curls slowly,
almost human,
like it understands
things I never say aloud
and for a moment,
everything hurts quieter
my thoughts stop racing each other,
my chest forgets its heaviness,
and the night feels less
like something to survive
maybe that’s why I return to it,
not for escape
but for the illusion
that peace can be inhaled,
because sometimes
a rolled-up flame
feels easier to hold
than my own feelings
and maybe that’s dangerous,
to mistake temporary calm
for healing
but still,
on certain nights,
with the room dim
and my mind exhausted,
the smoke feels
too much like comfort
to say no to it
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 11:23 AM UTC
cigarettes and peppermint,
***** and clean,
i look- no, i smell
just like a bad dream
my clothes scare parents,
my personality hurts them even more,
and the smoke around my room
made my mom close the door.
goodbye, all my friends
goodbye, those who care
i'm sorry, but never again
will we breathe the same air.
goodbye, the people i hurt
goodbye, those who hurt me
i'm not sorry
but maybe in the future. we'll see.
...
cigarettes and peppermint,
the ***** and clean smell is gone
it was all that was left of me...
i'm sorry you never caught on
May 3
May 3, 2026 at 3:18 AM UTC
You rescued me,
but did you truly?
Thank God, I am free;
I escaped from that tyrant.
But did you really unshackle me?
Summoning me up at 2 a.m.,
drunk and drugged up.
"Please come meet me,
I need you."
I’m in the room,
caged in this home
with you and your friends.
"Just do it,
it’s only one line,
it won’t hurt."
It did sting, though,
didn’t it?
I slipped into the vortex,
no clear route of escape.
This consumed my life,
This branded me.
One line is harmless, though,
right?
Apr 29
Apr 29, 2026 at 4:40 AM UTC
Choose your poison and raise your glass;
a toast to health as we intoxicate ourselves.
Sing the anthem (the anthem) of degenerates.
Nonchalantly we recite
what our forefathers left behind,
lessons learned (lessons learned)
lessons learned in vain.
These spirits are fit for a king,
bountiful like a fountain of youth.
Upon this dawning
we strike an iconic pose: akimbo
for we are the last standing;
all that remains, we are invincible.
Our peers stumble and slumber in style,
young men and women alike.
Summon the next generation,
they've reach the age of wisdom.
Be merry! Let's celebrate their lives.
Choose your poison and raise your glass;
a toast to health as we intoxicate ourselves.
Sing the anthem (the anthem) of degenerates.
Nonchalantly we recite
what our forefathers left behind,
lessons learned (lessons learned)
lessons learned in vain.
These spirits are fit for a king,
bountiful like a fountain of youth.
Upon this dawning
we strike an iconic pose: akimbo
for we are the last standing;
all that remains, we are invincible.
Our peers stumble and slumber in style,
young men and women alike.
Summon the next generation,
they've reach the age of wisdom.
Be merry! Let's celebrate their lives.
Choose your poison and raise your glass;
a toast to health as we intoxicate ourselves.
Sing the anthem (the anthem) of degenerates.
Nonchalantly we recite
what our forefathers left behind,
lessons learned (lessons learned)
lessons learned in vain.
These spirits are fit for a king,
bountiful like a fountain of youth.
Upon this dawning
we strike an iconic pose: akimbo
for we are the last standing;
all that remains, we are invincible.
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 10:08 PM UTC
When I first tasted Molly
I thought
"Certainly, this? This is what happiness is."
And I said it aloud to a friend of mine.
Who now, looking back, did not take it in kind.
For how could happiness come packaged in a pill?
She was my one time lover,
A crystalline thrill.
Up and under my tongue, she was placed.
Every paranoia in my mind
Hoping
She wasn't laced.
And for a good 4 to 5 hours,
All my troubles seemed displaced.
But happiness,
Pure Happiness
It does not come in a pill.
It is sober coffee dates,
and laughter,
An innocent thrill.
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 4:56 AM UTC
The residue cries
Dripping as I continue
The war is raging
Insanity versus freedom
The addiction is afraid
And my eyes witness hell
The habit longs to speak
I wait for peace and quiet
In the dying fights madness
I swim beyond the spectres
Hollow promises and minions
Statistics grow roots
I'm in a percentile of success
Also arrogance
The voices of ghosts attempt to haunt
I merely wait it out
No longer absorbing abuse
Daylight on my horizons
Apr 9
Apr 9, 2026 at 8:37 PM UTC
She said.
" I think you are a bit too morbid for my taste."
"Why do you say that sweetheart?"
I quickly replied.
"I mean on our first date we met in the cemetery so yeah.."
"Well I figure no matter the outcome darlin the backdrop should suit the hopes of our relationship."
I replied as I felt a little bad.
Because in all truth if that was so.
I should of just paid her and met her in the backseat instead.
Apr 1
Apr 1, 2026 at 12:10 PM UTC
White rabbit, white rabbit takes me to my new habit. I will follow you into the well, where unbeknownst to me, I'll build my own hell.
Everyone assumes I'm doing well but to be honest nobody knows how hard I fell. I've been falling so fast down this rabbit hole, it seems I must've lost my soul.
White rabbit, why is it so hard to kick this habit? I feel like a bird trapped in a cage, my entire life destroyed by my rage.
I want to spread my wings and be free, but I feel like the ****** life was made for me. Feeling like I can never let go of the syringe, so with my logic I'll begin to binge.
It's not like I ever get to see my kids for more than a day; all they ever wanted was for mama to stay so who cares if I die this way?
Covered in scabs and picks everyone's stares hurt more than bricks. Trust me that **** sticks, everything does when you're living for the buzz.
I remember seeing blood all over the floor and the EMT's kicking down the door. They didn't seem to have a single care; it said it all in their blank stare.
I was nothing more than a drugged-up ***** lying there overdosed on the floor. I begged God saying I don't want to live anymore, but that's the thing about being an addict you always have to have it.
I'm so worried the next time they kick in the door; it'll be nothing more than my lifeless body overdosed on the floor.
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 5:21 PM UTC
Obsession.
feels like a drug
bleeding into my veins
close my eyes—
lights still flash behind,
savour the high.
strobe lights
headshots
body shots
line the dark walls,
canvas
film
paper
i’m everywhere.
everywhere but here..
Addiction.
stuck.
waiting for the next high.
applause like static
rings through my skull
but I chase it
or it chases me
I can’t tell anymore
Admiration.
I smile at them.
Cameras flash.
They like me like this.
I don’t know them,
yet they call me pretty.
I laugh at jokes I don’t hear
while the lyrics loop in my head—
“I’m on my way to heaven”
Nov 13, 2025
Nov 13, 2025 at 7:30 PM UTC
I was gettin’ by,
Not gettin’ high all of December,
I got sick and tired of all the memories,
I buried it deep,
Filled with the smoke,
Sweet release,
I didn’t care if it killed me,
I liked the thrill,
And the sweet buzz of the inhale.
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 2:04 PM UTC
1am outside the world kept its appointments but inside we forgot there was a world at all 2am just five mouths learning they could be anyone and we passed each other around like a single cigarette burning and shared and the end always wet with someone else's wanting and 3am your mouth on mine lasted longest not because we meant it but because the body knows and you’re the one who will stand beside me again in the soft light 4am we kissed like we were practicing for a wound also mouthing your neck reciting scripture and the sounds we made belonged to the air 5am between us and sometime around four I thought this is absurd five people swapping spit with noses full like 6am philosophy then my hand on someones back and the overstimulation felt like a kind of prayer 7am and we talked about love like people who have only ever drowned in it and the ******* union and 8am the self a shirt we kept taking off and handing to whoever was coldest and the night stretched and 9am morning came like someone turning the lights on mid song and it was
10:30am.
The door opened like a broken rib.
I walked out blinking,
five people
who had briefly been one.
The room is still there,
a lung holding the ghost of our names.
Still full of mouths that won’t stop
opening into ecstasy.
Feb 23
Feb 23, 2026 at 6:24 AM UTC
Blood cracked lips
Nervous habits
One more drink
Burning my throat
Lost in limbo
Reliving my past
Feb 22
Feb 22, 2026 at 9:53 PM UTC
---
Fentanyl…
a name that tastes like sorrow
even before it reaches the tongue.
The one thing
you must never touch—
for it is not a drug,
but a shadow
that slips beneath the door
and steals the light
right out of a soul.
It doesn’t roar.
It doesn’t rage.
It moves quietly,
coldly,
like winter crawling across skin
until all warmth is gone.
It takes the innocent,
the hurting,
the ones searching for a moment of peace—
and gives them silence instead.
And when I think of it,
my heart sinks
like a stone in deep water.
Because I’ve felt its pull.
More than once.
And it is not a choice—
it is an undertow.
A whisper saying, “Come closer,”
as it drags you
down
down
down
into a place
where breathing feels borrowed.
The pain of being without it
isn’t just pain—
it is a storm inside the bones,
a trembling of every memory,
a hollow hunger
that no food, no air, no prayer
can fill.
Withdrawals carve you open
like a dull blade—
slow,
merciless,
leaving you curled around yourself
hoping the next minute
won’t last as long as the last.
And the high—
God…
the high is a lie,
a thin flicker of light
that barely touches the darkness
before disappearing,
leaving you colder than before.
But the part that breaks you—
truly breaks you—
is watching those you love
fade as if made of smoke.
Their laughter thinning,
their eyes dimming,
their bodies turning into ghosts
while they’re still standing.
You reach for them,
your hands trembling,
your voice cracking,
but they keep slipping
and slipping
and slipping
like sand through shaking fingers.
There is no angel to intervene,
no final-hour miracle,
no soft voice saying,
“It’s going to be alright.”
There is only loss
that arrives like nightfall—
quiet,
inevitable,
leaving behind a world
that feels emptier
than you ever thought possible.
---
Fentanyl never apologizes
for the lives it steals.
It never returns
what it takes.
It leaves only shadows,
and love with nowhere to go,
and the unbearable weight
of wishing you could have saved
just one more soul…
©️scomeaux
Feb 16
Feb 16, 2026 at 2:52 AM UTC