I try to keep my secret
So hidden
So well concealed from view
With every day
The weight on my shoulder increases exponentially
Why must I hide?
Why am I afraid of what people will do?
What people will say?
What people will think?
How they will treat me
Why does it matter?
Why do I make myself feel as though what they say means anything to me?
As my strength, confidence, and fearlessness decrease
Degree by degree
My wall starts to rebuild itself
Brick by brick
With every tear
The cement hardens
Why can’t I find the joy that everyone else feels
What is wrong with me?
The face I put on to protect myself
Why does it have to fade when I leave their presence?
This disease weighs me down
Heavy on my heart
Devastating to my soul
This can’t be healthy
I can’t live like this anymore
But I can’t die like this either
I’m at a turning point in my life
I know which road to take
My better judgment is being tested
I can’t hurt the ones I love
Why can’t this type of end be a new beginning?
Why is one end irreparable?
The other road doesn’t come to an end
Not for a long time
I know where I have to go
This choice weighs heavily on my heart
My internal compass is failing
Will I be able to find my way?
Will the shattered pieces of my heart be able to help me?
Only time will tell
Time I hope I have
It depends on how well my heart has been mended
I hope it will be able to support the pressure
That is weighing heavily on my heart