it's 3 AM darling
i haven't slept a wink
or had a steady breath of air
*i run outside in my favorite red rain boots
i laugh and giggle as i leap and bound
splashing in puddles and delighting in life*
i slip off the covers, flick on the dim lights
it's the nightly routine,
open the dresser drawer, grab the razors
*the sky is gray but
i am as bright as a sunflower
as i twirl around and around in the rain*
i open the bathroom door
and slide down the wall
the world spinning, the walls collasping
*i laugh and shout as my baby sister runs out
to join in on the fun and games
we run hand in hand down the wet street*
i sob and sob until there's nothing left
but ragged gasps
trying to breathe, but i forget how
*i laugh so hard i can't breathe
as she and i dance in the streetlight
as the rain falls down around us,
creating a halo around us of illuminated raindrops*
i sink lower and lean my head back
the silver blade slashes against my skin
as shimmering tears dance in my eyes
*the sky opens up
and the heavens shine down on us
the beautiful sunlight peeking shyly through
life is a wonderful thing, i think to myself*
the blood trickles down
you're over, you're done
you're living,
but your not breathing or feeling,
you're so far past repair,
why bother to stay in this wretched world of despair
when you know you're dead, you're worthless,
what a fool i was to think life was good.