When will it stop?
When will you come back to life? When will my mind finally notice that you are here, right now?
I know you’re not dead, but the grief I feel is bigger than I can carry. I am weak, and my emotions are too strong to contain. So when will it stop? When will I get through a day with you here without shedding a single tear?
I never knew my emotions could reach this high. I never knew I could want something so badly. I wish for you to live, and for my emotions not to destroy me.
So do you have any answers? Because it still hasn’t gone away, and I don’t know how much longer I can endure my swollen eyes, the time I’ve cut away from my life grieving people who are still alive, or the moments when I couldn’t even look you in the face without tears building in my eyes, my hands shaking, my clothes suffocating me from the inside.
Can you help? I need answers now, because my mind won’t listen. It keeps ticking toward the next thought, the next imagined death, the next person to grieve. A fake rose dies in my mind, and another person takes its place.
So tell me—when will it stop I’m desperate…?