i want to love myself
but i don't know how
drifting in and out
between the reality and my delusions
trying to search for that vigor
that will to be alive—
to be excited of the sunrise
and feel calm
soaking under the afternoon sun
and love the changing hues
of the skies at dusk
and wish the moon a good night
never fearing the dreams to come
then adore the peeking light at dawn
reflecting the days waiting to be lived
but then it's gone
all that's left was a monotonous black
accompanied by a crippling silence
followed by the surge of doubts
storming down my confidence
its lightning striking
as i look into the mirror
staring at my silhouette
with its pieces shattering one by one
just as how, piece by piece
i slipped into the pit
freefalling
and finally losing
the will i tried so hard to keep
leaving me with nothing
but a void
Jan 24, 2022
Jan 24, 2022 at 2:05 AM UTC
i want to love myself
but i don't know how
drifting in and out
between the reality and my delusions
trying to search for that vigor
that will to be alive—
to be excited of the sunrise
and feel calm
soaking under the afternoon sun
and love the changing hues
of the skies at dusk
and wish the moon a good night
never fearing the dreams to come
then adore the peeking light at dawn
reflecting the days waiting to be lived
but then it's gone
all that's left was a monotonous black
accompanied by a crippling silence
followed by the surge of doubts
storming down my confidence
its lightning striking
as i look into the mirror
staring at my silhouette
with its pieces shattering one by one
just as how, piece by piece
i slipped into the pit
freefalling
and finally losing
the will i tried so hard to keep
leaving me with nothing
but a void
i wrote this when i felt really really down, somehow it helped me release all that negativity within. i think i am better now. will be dumping my poems because it's been a while since i've posted
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