if i have three lives, i spent two of them with you
having midnight coffee and afternoon wine,
and sunset kisses then admire how your eyes shine
under the moonlight even when Venus retrogrades
if i have three lives, two of which are dyed with your hue,
my days lit up by your smile and your quirks
and how peculiar and bizarre your mind works
bathing the world with iridescence that never fades
if i have three lives, i must’ve loved you in two
thanked the universe for my twice granted prayers,
as the redwoods witnessed our hairs turn gray together
and fallen perfectly in love with the life we made
if i have three lives, i missed you in one
this one life without my constant.
i won’t be particularly unhappy
i would enjoy my morning coffee,
probably have afternoon tea
and adopt a cat to cuddle and kiss
i would still admire the hyperion,
go on walks and adore the city lights at dawn
look for your soul in every person i meet
return home for another drink
go to bed hoping for a glimpse
of you and relive the lives we shared in my dreams
and wonder once in a while that maybe
you’re out there waiting for me
i mourn the idea
that even if the universe is so vast
and even if time is but a social construct;
i only have these three measly lives
to love and to long
to live and to mourn
so if i have three lives, know that i wished
for you in between my thoughts,
in between my breaths,
in every passing stranger;
and so i picked up a pen to write this
just in case you ask me how i lived
that one life without you
Dec 13, 2025
Dec 13, 2025 at 12:38 PM UTC
i won't leave traces
that i'm changing into different faces
fooling people of my desires
i'm stranded on a wire
with just one wrong step
people will know the depth
of my longing
i'd like to think i'm only indulging
and will not forever be craving
the taste of your lips
the way your hands fall into my hips
as our breaths mingle
as our tongues entangle
making my body all tingly
leaving your scent into me
there will be no traces
of this poisonous fruit my heart chases
because this is just a phase
and i'll sober up one of these days
but for now, let your traces seep deep into my bones
and let the room be filled with both our moans
Jul 30, 2025
Jul 30, 2025 at 11:39 AM UTC
i don't believe in fairytales
but i believe in you,
that happily ever after doesn't exist
but there is being together in this life,
and the next life,
and all the lives after that
i don't believe in "butterflies in the stomach"
nor the "sparks when we touch",
but i believe in you
of the worthwhile days ahead—
there may be tears we'll shed
but surely there'll be more days,
filled with bliss,
sneaking a hug,
and stealing a kiss
i don't believe in destiny
but i believe in you,
that everyday was a choice—
when you ran after me
after the first fight,
when i came back
after the breakup,
when you got down on one knee,
you chose me
and when i finally said yes,
i chose you
and i promise to choose you
every single day
for all the days to come,
until the next lives
every day
i will choose you.
Sep 21, 2023
Sep 21, 2023 at 11:07 AM UTC
i want the conversations every morning
with the aroma of coffee surrounding us,
with your eyes gleaming as they met mine,
with your humming melting my ears,
and with your teasing smiles
and your laughing eyes
as i watch you wash the dishes
i just want a comfortable life,
the one in which we stay together for a long while—
i'll chat with you while you cook
and you'll chat with me while i plant daisies.
i may be clumsy
with fixing things around the house,
but you'll be there
so we can laugh about it together.
i don't care about fancy dinners,
out-of-town trips, or weekend getaways
i'm fine with reading books on a lazy afternoon,
or watching movies, chilling at night, with our blanket on
while holding our wine glasses,
or waking me up with a kiss on the forehead
greeting me with your gentle smile
i want someone to watch true crime series with
coupled with cuddles on rainy days,
or animated films on the happy days,
or docuseries with a pint of ice cream at hand
on my moody days,
or variety shows on ordinary days,
just letting everyday pass in this mundane world
i don't need to be seen in rose-tinted glasses,
a pair of crystal-clear lenses is fine with me,
the ones where you can tell me everything
and know that i'll accept you no matter what
and guide you to what's right,
the ones where i can tell you everything
and know that you'll console me,
then scold me, then advise me afterward.
i don't need gifts or surprises,
i don't even need to celebrate anniversaries,
i just want to spend a lot,
a whole lot of them with you,
so stay with me for a long time
and it'll be more than enough
for this heart of mine.
Sep 17, 2023
Sep 17, 2023 at 3:13 PM UTC
the fates are so unfair
catching me unaware
that i have sauntered vaguely downwards
but keep putting me in despair
because i will never be the one
the one you'll honour as your partner
the one you'll stand with at the altar
the one you'll take your vows with
the hand you'll hold on the street
the body you'll hug in your sleep
and the lips that you'll kiss deeply and sweetly
it'll never be me
we can never be
i will just keep longing
forever hoping
that in our next lifetimes
you'll finally be mine
finally, it'll be us always all our days
that despite the circumstances
you'll choose me anyways
Sep 17, 2023
Sep 17, 2023 at 3:02 PM UTC
i don't have the courage
to spill my feelings
or even fight for you
but i also don't have the guts
to finally, cowardly,
and undoubtedly give you up
tethering hopelessly,
i am contented to never be,
contented within an arm's length
for i am yours to hold
but you're not mine to own.
Sep 17, 2023
Sep 17, 2023 at 2:46 PM UTC
it's hard to be a woman—
either you're too ******
or you're too fake,
either you're unattractive
or you're a *****
attracting starving men left and right,
either you're trying so hard to be smart
or you're too dumb to still want
to be a puppet
always in the men's beck and call.
you can't talk too much,
you shouldn't have opinions
against the misogynists
against the bigots,
'cause you're supposed to laugh
at other women's misfortunes
—that way—
you'll shine brighter.
you're supposed to celebrate
the misfortunes of the underprivileged,
—that way—
it's easier to climb higher
and have your place behind
the patriarch,
the dictator.
even if people are feeding you the truth,
you must not swallow it
'cause it harms a man's ego
it's better to be deaf
from the pleas of other women,
from the pleas of the children
who don't have enough food,
from the deafening silence
of the oppressed media,
from the romanticization
of poverty and resilience and heroism,
disguising the disgusting world
of patriarchy and capitalism.
my middle finger salutes you who is a woman
yet blurts out that it's the woman's fault
that she's *****
that she's sexually harassed,
that she was treated as an object,
that she opened her mouth,
only to be silenced with a bullet on her skull;
'cause you should just go **** yourself if ever—
your internalized misogyny
is polluting the already decaying society
with the way you think,
the way you act,
the way you "encourage" people,
and just the way you live
to have a woman like you
is such a waste of effort
of the millennium
women like you spent fighting for their rights,
just go slave yourself away;
i hope you realize
you're a shame
of hundreds of years,
of courage,
of voice,
of persuasion,
of a woman.
so better ask yourself:
are you proud of the woman
that you are?
can other women be proud
of the woman you turned out to be?
Jun 6, 2022
Jun 6, 2022 at 2:42 PM UTC
i want the conversations every morning
with the aroma of coffee surrounding us,
with your eyes gleaming as they met mine,
with your humming melting my ears,
and with your teasing smiles
and your laughing eyes
as i watch you wash the dishes
i just want the comfortable life,
the one in which we stay together—
i'll chat with you while you cook
and you'll chat with me while i plant daisies.
i may be clumsy
with fixing things around the house,
but you'll be there
so we can laugh about it together.
i don't care about fancy dinners,
out-of-town trips, or weekend getaways
i'm fine with reading books on a lazy afternoon,
or watching movies, chilling at night, with the blanket on
while holding our wine glasses,
or waking me up with a kiss on the forehead
greeting me with your gentle smile
i want someone to watch true crime series with
coupled with cuddles on rainy days,
or animated films with on the happy days,
or docuseries with a pint of ice cream at hand
on my moody days,
or variety shows on ordinary days,
just letting everyday pass in this mundane world
i don't need to be seen in rose-tinted glasses,
a pair of crystal-clear lenses is fine with me,
the ones where you can tell me everything
and know that i'll accept you no matter what
and guide you to what's right,
the ones where i can tell you everything
and know that you'll console me,
then scold me, then advice me afterwards.
i don't need gifts or surprises,
i don't even need to celebrate anniversaries,
i just want to spend a lot,
a whole lot of them with you,
so stay with me for a long time
and it'll be more than enough
for this heart of mine.
Jun 6, 2022
Jun 6, 2022 at 1:18 PM UTC
i want to love myself
but i don't know how
drifting in and out
between the reality and my delusions
trying to search for that vigor
that will to be alive—
to be excited of the sunrise
and feel calm
soaking under the afternoon sun
and love the changing hues
of the skies at dusk
and wish the moon a good night
never fearing the dreams to come
then adore the peeking light at dawn
reflecting the days waiting to be lived
but then it's gone
all that's left was a monotonous black
accompanied by a crippling silence
followed by the surge of doubts
storming down my confidence
its lightning striking
as i look into the mirror
staring at my silhouette
with its pieces shattering one by one
just as how, piece by piece
i slipped into the pit
freefalling
and finally losing
the will i tried so hard to keep
leaving me with nothing
but a void
Jan 24, 2022
Jan 24, 2022 at 2:05 AM UTC
for a while there,
i thought you could see---
the shackles on my feet,
the tape on my mouth,
the cloth on my eyes
the truth behind the lies;
the noose on my neck,
the cotton on my ears,
the ropes on my wrists,
the hand pulling the strings.
for a while there,
i almost believed,
but you're just another
false prophet
turning me into a puppet;
using me for your agenda
trapping me into an illusion---
illusion of euphoria.
for a while there,
i thought you could understand:
the truth behind my
coarse hands,
dry throat,
tired eyes,
bulging veins,
hunched back,
parched skin,
pale lips,
and bruised heart,
and shattered pride,
and broken dreams,
and endless tears.
for a while there,
i hoped:
you could listen
as i speak;
you could speak
as i lose my voice;
you could fight
as i lose my courage;
you could upend
the triangle,
as i was stuck scraping
the bottom of the barrel.
sigh---
for a while
there, i saw the sinister
eyes of the bourgeoisie
failing to mask
your avarice,
failing to hide
your dark desires.
for a while
there, i saw the truth
behind your lies:
how you're on the other side
with all the false sympathizers,
mingling with the puppet masters,
holding millions of lives,
toying us in your palms,
treating us as pawns,
as if you are gods
deciding the fate
of us pitiful humans.
for a while
there, i saw it;
the light diminishing,
the shadows expanding,
the hope extinguishing.
for a while
there, i felt it;
the air suffocating,
my body shivering,
the blood flowing
on the ground.
in just a short while,
it ended;
just as how fast
a bullet reaches the head.
Aug 7, 2020
Aug 7, 2020 at 1:28 PM UTC