you blow in
into your palace
everyone is waiting
waiting for you
you dump your shit in the way
your bags like forgotten wine bottles
how can you claim to love
when you’re so fucking sloppy?
you talk without end
without meaning
you find a story that fits you
it’s lovely
you take it
leaving the lingering taste of your kiss
sour and bitter in my mouth
i look at you with disgust
i can’t feel anything else
your smile
your laugh
your voice
the way you flip your hair
i felt awkward
clumsy
gangly
childish
but the way you looked at me
made me belong with you
and now it’s just a game
i hate the way you treated him
threw him out like a whimpering dog
he had rabies, you said
so you found a new pet
i hate the way you treated me
holding me close
then as soon as you found a flaw
pushed me away
made it my fault
told me how much i hurt you
when i was bit by a dog
i went to you
sobbing
and you held me
wrapped me in your flannel
the flannel you wear to fit in
the flannel you wear to look rustic, strong
as though you wanted to be my man
he was an asshole
just a stupid asshole
i shouldn’t pay attention to him
but those words were for you
what you decided to believe
what you wanted me to believe
so i listened
not knowing you’d flirted between us
pulling us close with easy promises
only to push us away
i don’t know what you wanted
but i know we weren’t it